| Document Type | Modernised |
|---|---|
| Code | Gas.0004 |
| Bookseller | Richard Smith |
| Printer | Henry Bynneman |
| Type | |
| Year | 1575 |
| Place | London |
Tam Marti, quam Mercurio.
Imprinted at London by H. Bynneman for Richard Smith.
These Books are to be sold at the Northwest door of Paul’s Church.
Epigraph:
Tam Marti quam Mercurio.
In this division are contained:
The Comedy called Supposes. Folio. 1.
The Tragedy called Iocasta. Fol. 73
The fruit of Reconciliation. 129
The force of true Friendship. 131
The force of Love in Strangers. 132
The praise of brown beauty. 134
The Partridge and the Merlin. 135
The vertue of Ver. 136
The complaint of a Dame in absence. 138
The praise of a Countesse. 139
The affection of a lover. 140
The complaint of a Dame suspected. 141
A Riddle. 143
The shield of Love. 144
The gloze upon Dominus ijs opus habet. 145
Gascoigne’s counsel to Dive. Fol. 148
Gascoigne’s counsel to Wythipole. 151
Gascoigne’s woodmanship. Fol. 156
Gascoigne’s gardenings. 160
Gascoigne’s journey into Holland. 163
Balia, the Nurse.
Polynesta, the young woman.
Cleander, the Doctor, suitor to Polynesta.
Pasiphilo, the Parasite.
Carion, the Doctor’s man.
Dulipo, fained servant and lover of Polynesta.
Erostrato, fained master and suitor to Polynesta.
Dalio & Crapyno servants to fained Erostrato.
Scenaese, a gentleman stranger.
Paquetto & Petrucio his servants.
Damon, father to Polynesta.
Nevola, and two other his servants.
Psyteria, an old hag in his house.
Phylogano, a Sicilian gentleman, father to Erostrato.
Lytio, his servant.
Ferrarese, an Innkeeper of Ferrara.
The Comedie presented as it were in Ferrara.
I Suppose you are assembled here, supposing to reap the fruit of my travails: and to be plain, I mean presently to present you with a Comedy called Supposes: the very name wherof may peradventure drive into every of your heads a sundry Suppose, to suppose, the meaning of our supposes. Some percase will suppose we mean to occupy your ears with sophistical handling of subtil Suppositions. Some other wil suppose we go about to decipher unto you some quaint concepts, which hitherto have been only supposed as it were in shadowes: and some I see smiling as though they supposed we would trouble you with the vain suppose of some wanton Suppose. But understand, this our Suppose is nothing else but a mistaking or imagination of one thing for another. For you shall see the master supposed for the servant, the servant for the master: the freeman for a slave, and the bondslave for a freeman: the stranger for a well-known friend, and the familiar for a stranger. But what? I suppose that even already you suppose me very fond, that have so simply disclosed unto you the subtleties of these our Supposes: where otherwise indeed I suppose you shoulde have heard almost the last of our Supposes, before you could have supposed any of them aright. Let this then suffice.
Actus primus. Scœna i.
Balia, the Nurse. Polynesta, the yong woman.
Here is nobody, come forth Polynesta, let us look about, to be sure least any man hear our talk: for I think within the house the tables, the planks, the beds, the portals, yea and the cupboards themselves have ears.
Polynesta You might as well have said, the windows and the doors: do you not see how they harken?
Balia Well you jest fair, but I would advise you take heed, I have bidden you a thousand times beware: you will be spied one day talking with Dulipo.
Polynesta And why should I not talk with Dulipo, as well as with any other, I pray you?
Balia I have given you a wherefor for this why many times: but go too, follow your own advice till you overwhelm us all with sudden mishap.
Polynesta A great mishap I promise you: Mary God’s blessing on their heart that set such a brooch on my cap.
Balia Well, look well about you: a man would think it were enough for you secretly to rejoice, that by my help you have passed so many pleasant nights together: and yet by my truth I do it more than half against my will, for I would rather you had settled your fancy in some noble family yea and it is no small grief unto me, that (rejecting the suits of so many nobles and gentlemen) you have chosen for your darling a poor servaunt of your fathers, by whom shame and infamy is the best dower you can look for to attain.
Polynesta And I pray you: whom may I thank but gentle nurse? That continually praising him, what for his personage, his courtesy, and above all, the extreme passions of his mind, in fine you would never cease till I accepted him, delighted in him, and at length desired him with no less affection, than he erst desired me.
Balia I cannot deny, but at the beginning I did recommend him unto you (as indeed I may say that for myself I have a pityful heart) seeing the depth of his unbridled affection, and that continually he never ceased to fill my ears with lamentable complaints.
Polynesta Nay, rather that he filled your purse with bribes and rewards, Nurse.
Balia Well, you may judge of Nurse as you list. Indeed I have thought it always a deede of charity to help the miserable young men, whose tender youth consumeth with the furious flames of love. But be you sure if I had thought you would have passed to the terms you now stand in, pity nor pension, penny nor pater noster should ever have made Nurse once to open her mouth in the cause.
Polynesta No, of honesty, I pray you, who first brought him into my chamber? Who first taught him the way to my bed but you? Fie, Nurse, fie, never speak of it for shame, you will make me tell a wise tale anon.
Balia And have I these thanks for my good will? Why then I see well I shall be counted the cause of all mishap.
Polynesta Nay, rather the author of my good hap (gentle Nurse) for I would thou knewest I love not Dulipo, nor any of so mean estate, but have bestowed my love more worthily than thou deemest: but I will say no more at this time.
Balia Then I am glad you have changed your mind yet.
Polynesta Nay, I neither have changed, nor will change it.
Balia Then I understande you not, how said you?
Polynesta Mary, I say that I love not Dulipo, nor any such as he, and yet I neither have changed nor will change my mind.
Balia I cannot tell, you love to lie with Dulipo very well. This gear is Greek to me: either it hangs not well together, or I am very dull of understanding. Speak plain, I pray you.
Polynesta I can speak no plainer, I have sworn to the contrary.
Balia How? Make you so dainty to tell it Nurse, least she should reveal it? You have trusted me as far as may be, (I may show to you) in things that touch your honor if they were known: and make you strange to tell me this? I am sure it is but a trifle in comparison of those things wherof heretofore you have made me privy.
Polynesta Well, it is of greater importance than you think, Nurse: yet would I tell it you under condition and promise that you shall not tell it again, nor give any sign or token to be suspected that you know it.
Balia I promise you of my honesty, say on.
Polynesta Well, hear you me then: this young man whom you have always taken for Dulipo, is a noble born Sicilian, his right name Erostrato, son to Philogano, one of the worthiest men in that country.
Balia How Erostrato? Is it not our neighbour, which?
Polynesta Hold thy talking, Nurse, and harken to me, that I may explain the whole case unto thee. The man whom to this day you have supposed to be Dulipo, is (as I say) Erostrato, a gentleman that came from Sicilia to study in this City, and even at his first arrival met me in the street, fell enamoured of me, and of such vehement force were the passions he suffered, that immediately he cast aside both long gown and books, and determined on me only to apply his study. And to the end he might the more commodiously both see me and talk with me, he exchanged both name, habit, clothes and credit with his seruant Dulipo (whom only he brought with him out of Sicilia) and so with the turning of a hand, of Erostrato a gentleman, he became Dulipo, a serving man, and soon after sought service of my father, and obtained it.
Balia Are you sure of this?
Polynesta Yea, out of doubt: on the other side Dulipo took upon him the name of Erostrato his master, the habit, the credit, books, and all things needful to a student, and in short space profited very much, and is now esteemed as you see.
Balia
Are there no other Sicilians here: nor none that pass this way, which may discover them?
Polynesta Very few that pass this way, and few or none that tarry here any time.
Balia This hath been a strange adventure: but I pray you, how hang these things together? That the student whom you say to be the servant, and not the master, is become an earnest suitor to you, and requireth you of your father in marriage?
Polynesta That is a policy devised between them, to put Doctor Dotipole out of conceit: the old dotard, he that so instantly doth lie upon my father for me. But look where he comes, as God help me it is he, out upon him, what a lusky yonker is this? Yet I had rather be a Noon a thousand times, than be combred with such a coistrel.
Balia Daughter, you have reason, but let us go in before he come any nearer.
Polynesta goeth in, and Balya stayeth a little while after, speaking a worde or two to the doctor, and then departeth.
Scœna ii.
Cleander, Doctor. Pasiphilo, Parasite. Balia, Nurse.
Were these dames here, or did my eyes dazzle?
Pasiphilo Nay, sir. Here were Polynesta and her nurse.
Cleander Was my Polynesta here? Alas, I knew her not.
Balia He must have better eyesight that should marry your Polynesta, or else he may chance to oversee the best point in his tables sometimes.
Pasiphilo Sir, it is no marvel, the air is very misty today: I myselfe knew her better by her apparel than by her face.
Cleander In good faith and I thank God I have my eyesight good and perfit, little worse than when I was but twenty years old.
Pasiphilo How can it be otherwise? you are but young.
Cleander I am fifty years old.
Pasiphilo He tells ten less than he is.
Cleander What sayst thou of ten less?
Pasiphilo I say I would have thought you ten less, you look like one of six and thirty, or seven and thirty at the most.
Cleander I am no less than I tell.
Pasiphilo You are like enough to live fifty more: show me your hand.
Cleander Why is Pasiphilo a Chiromancer?
Pasiphilo What is not Pasiphilo? I pray you show me it a little.
Cleander Here it is.
Pasiphilo O how straight and infract is this line of life? You will live to the years of Melchisedech.
Cleander Thou wouldest say, Mathusalem.
Pasiphilo Why is it not all one?
Cleander I perceive you are no very good Bibler, Pasiphilo.
Pasiphilo Yes, sir, an excellent good Bibler, specially in a bottle: oh what a mount of Venus here is? But this light serveth not very well, I will behold it another day, when the air is clearer, and tell you somewhat, peradventure to your contentation.
Cleander You shall do me great pleasure: but tell me, I pray thee Pasiphilo, whome dost thou thinke Polynesta liketh better, Erostrato or me?
Pasiphilo Why? You out of doubt: she is a gentlewoman of a noble mind, and maketh greater accompt of the reputation she shall have in marrying your worship, than that poor scholar, whose birth and parentage God knoweth, and very few else.
Cleander Yet he taketh it upon him bravely in this country.
Pasiphilo Yea, where no man knoweth the contrary: but let him brave it, bost his birth, and do what he can, the virtue and knowledge that is within this body of yours, is worth more than all the country he came from.
Cleander It becometh not a man to praise himselfe: but indeed I may say (and say truely) that my knowledge hath stood me in better stead at a pinch, than could all the goods in the world. I came out of Otranto when the Turks won it, and first I came to Padua, after hither, whereby reading, counseling, and pleading, within twenty years. I have gathered and gained as good as ten thousand Ducats.
Pasiphilo Yea, Mary, this is the right knowledge: Philosophy, Poetry, Logic, and all the rest, are but pickling sciences in comparison to this.
Cleander But pickling indeed, whereof we have a verse:
The trade of Love doth fill the boisterous bags,
They swim in silk, when others royst in rags.
Pasiphilo O excellent verse, who made it? Virgil?
Cleander Virgil? Tush, it is written in one of our gloses.
Pasiphilo Sure who soever wrote it, the moral is excellent, and worthy to be written in letters of gold. But to the purpose: I think you shall never recover the wealth that you lost at Otranto.
Cleander I think I have doubled it, or rather made it four times as much: but indeed, I lost my only son there, a child of five years old.
Pasiphilo O great pity.
Cleander Yea, I had rather have lost al the goods in the world.
Pasiphilo Alas, alas: by God and grafts of such a stock are very geason in these days.
Cleander I know not whether he were slain, or the Turks took him and kept him as a bond slave.
Pasiphilo Alas, I could weep for compassion, but there is no remedy but patience, you shall get many by this young damsel with the grace of God.
Cleander Yea, if I get her.
Pasiphilo Get her? Why doubt you of that?
Cleander Why? Her father holds me off with delays, so that I must needs doubt.
Pasiphilo Content yourself, sir, he is a wise man, and desirous to place his daughter well: he will not be too rash in his determination, he will think well of the matter: and let him think, for the longer he thinketh, the more good of you shall he think: whose wealth? Whose virtue? Whose skill? or whose estimation can he compare to yours in this City?
Cleander And hast thou not told him that I would make his Daughter a dower of two thousand ducats?
Pasiphilo Why, even now, I came but from thence since.
Cleander What said he?
Pasiphilo Nothing, but that Erostrato had proferred the like.
Cleander Erostrato? How can he make any dower, and his father yet alive?
Pasiphilo Think you I did not tell him so? Yes I warrant you, I forgot nothing that may further your cause: and doubt you not, Erostrato shall never have her unless it be in a dream.
Cleander Well, gentle Pasiphilo, go thy ways and tell Damon I require nothing but his daughter. I will none of his goods: I shall enrich her of mine own: and if this dower of two thousand ducats seems not sufficient, I will make it five hundred more, yea a thousand, or what so ever he will demaund rather than fail: go to Pasiphilo, show thyselfe friendly in working this feat for me: spare for no cost, since I have gone thus far, I will be loath to be out bidden. Go.
Pasiphilo Where shall I come to you again?
Cleander At my house.
Pasiphilo When?
Cleander When thou wilt.
Pasiphilo Shall I come at dinner time?
Cleander I would bid thee to dinner, but it is a Saincts’ even which I have ever fasted.
Pasiphilo Faste till thou famish.
Cleander Hark.
Pasiphilo He speaketh of a dead man’s fast.
Cleander Thou hearest me not.
Pasiphilo Nor thou understandest me not.
Cleander I dare say thou art angry I bid thee not to dinner: but come if thou wilt, thou shalt take such as thou findest.
Pasiphilo What? Think you I know not where to dine?
Cleander Yes Pasiphilo thou art not to seeke.
Pasiphilo No, be you sure, there are enow will pray me.
Cleander That I know well enough Pasiphilo, but thou canst not be better welcome in any place than to me, I will tarry for thee.
Pasiphilo Well, since you will needes, I will come.
Cleander Dispatch then, and bring no news but good.
Pasiphilo Better than my reward by the rood.
Cleander exit, Pasiphilo restat.
Scœna iii.
Pasiphilo. Dulipo.
O Miserable covetous wretch, he findeth an excuse by S. Nicolas fast, because I should not dine with him, as though I should dine at his own dish: he maketh goodly feasts I promise you, it is no wonder though he think me bound unto him for my fare: for over and besides that his provision is as scant as may be, yet there is great difference between his diet and mine. I never so much as sip of the wine that he tasteth, I feed at the borde’s end with brown bread: Mary, I reach always to his own dish, for there are no more but that only on the table. Yet he thinks that for one such dinner I am bound to do him all the service that I can, and think me sufficiently rewarded for all my travel, with one such festiual promotion. And yet peradventure some men think I have great gains under him: but I may say and swear, that this dozen years I have not gained so much in value as the points at my hose (which are but three with codpiece point and all): he thinks that I may feede upon his favour and fair words: but if I could not otherwise provide for one, Pasiphilo were in a wise case. Pasiphilo hath no pastures to pass in than one, I warrant you: I am of houshold with this scholar Erostrato, (his rivale) as well as with Domine Cleander: now with the one, and then with the other, according as I see their caters provide good cheer at the market: and I find the means so to handle the matter, that I am welcome to both. If the one sees me talk with the other, I make him believe it is to harken news in the furtherance of his cause: and thus I become a broker on both sides. Well, let them both apply the matter as well as they can, for indeed I will travel for none of them both: yet will I seem to work wonders on each hand. But is not this one of Damon’s servants that commeth forth? It is: of him I shall understand where his master is. Whither goeth this jolly gallant?
Dulipo I come to seek somebody that may accompany my master at dinner: he is alone, and would faine have good company.
Pasiphilo Seeke no further, you could neuer have found one better than me.
Dulipo I have no commission to bring so many.
Pasiphilo How many? I will come alone.
Dulipo How canst thou come alone, that hast continually a legion of ravening wolves within thee?
Pasiphilo Thou dost (as servants commonly do) hate all that love to visit their masters.
Dulipo And why?
Pasiphilo Because they have too many teeth as you think.
Dulipo Nay, because they have too many tongues.
Pasiphilo Tongues? I pray you what did my tongue ever hurt you?
Dulipo I speak but merrily with you Pasiphilo. Go in, my master is ready to dine.
Pasiphilo What? Dineth he so earely?
Dulipo He that riseth early, dineth early.
Pasiphilo I would I were his man, master doctor never dineth till noon, and how delicately then God knoweth. I will be bold to go in, for I count myself bidden.
Dulipo You were best so.
Pasiphilo intrat. Dulipo restat.
Hard hap had I when I first began this unfortunate enterprise: for I supposed the readiest medicine to my miserable affects had been to change name, clothes, and credit with my servant, and to place myself in Damon’s service: thinking that as shivering cold by glowing fire, thirst by drink, hunger by pleasant repasts, and a thousand such like passions find remedy by their contraries, so my rest less desire might have found quiet by continual contemplation. But alas, I find that only love is unsaciable: for as the fly playeth with the flame till at last she is cause of her own decay, so the lover that thinketh with kissing and colling to content his unbrideled appetite is commonly seen the only cause of his own consumption. Two years are now past since (under the colour of Damon’s service) I have been a sworn servant to Cupid: of whom I have received as much favour and grace as ever man found in his service. I have free liberty at all times to behold my desired, to talk with her, to embrace her, yea (be it spoken in secret) to lie with her. I reap the fruits of my desire: yet as my joyes abound, even so my pains increase. I fare like the covetous man, that having all the world at will, is never yet content: the more I have, the more I desire. Alas, what wretched estate have I brought myself unto, if in the end of all my farfetches, she be given by her father to this old doting doctor, this buzzard, this bribing villain, that by so many means seeketh to obtain her at her fathers hands? I know she loveth me best of all others, but what may that prevail when perforce she shall be constrained to marry another? Alas, the pleasant taste of my sugared joyes doth yet remain so perfect in my remembrance, that the least sop of sorrow seemeth more sour than gall in my mouth. If I had never known delight, with better contentation might I have passed these dreadful dolors. And if this old Mumpsimus (whom the pocks consume) should win her, then may I say, farewell the pleasant talk, the kind embracings, yea farewell the sight of my Polynesta, for he like a jealous wretch will pen her up, that I think the birds of the air shall not win the sight of her. I hoped to have cast a block in his way, by the means that my servant (who is supposed to be Erostrato, and with my habit and credit is wel esteemed) should proffer himself a suitor, at the least to countervail the doctor’s proffers. But my master knowing the wealth of the one, and doubting the state of the other, is determined to be fed no longer with fair words, but to accept the doctor (whom he right well knoweth) for his son in law. Well, my servant promised me yesterday to devise yet again some new conspiracy to drive master doctor out of conceit, and to lay a snare that the fox himself might be caught in: what it is, I know not, nor I saw him not since he went about it: I will go see if he be within, that at least if he help me not, he may yet prolong my life for this once. But here commeth his lackey: ho Jack pack, where is Erostrato?
Here must Crapine be coming in with a basket and a stick in his hand.
Scœna iv.
Crapino the Lackey. Dulipo.
Erostrato? Mary, he is in his skin!
Dulipo Ah horeson boy, I say, how shall I find Erostrato?
Crapino Find him? How mean you, by the weeke or by the year?
Dulipo You crack halter, if I catch you by the ears, I shall make you answer me directly.
Crapino Indeed?
Dulipo Tarry me a little.
Crapino In faith sir, I have no leisure.
Dulipo Shall we try who can run fastest?
Crapino Your legs be longer than mine, you should have given me the advantage.
Dulipo Go to, tell me where is Erostrato?
Crapino I left him in the street, where he gave me this casket, (this basket I would have said) and had me bear it to Dalio, and return to him at the Duke’s Palace.
Dulipo If thou see him, tell him I must needs speak with him immediately: or abide awhile, I will go seek him myself, rather than he suspected by going to his house.
Crapino departeth, and Dulipo also: after Dulipo commeth in again seeking Erostrato.
Finis Actus i.
Dulipo. Erostrato.
I think if I had as many eyes as Argus, I could not have sought a man more narrowly in every street and every by lane, there are not many gentlemen, scholars, nor merchants in the city of Ferrara, but I have met with them, except him: peradvuenture he is come home another way: but look where he commeth at the last.
Erostrato In good time have I spied my good master.
Dulipo For the love of God call me Dulipo (not master), maintain the credit that thou hast hitherto kept, and let me alone.
Erostrato Yet sir let me sometimes do my duty unto you, especially where nobody heareth.
Dulipo Yea, but so long the Parat useth to cry knap in sport, that at the last she calleth her master knave in earnest: so long you will use to call me master, that at the last we shall be heard. What news?
Erostrato Good.
Dulipo Indeed?
Erostrato Yea excellent, we have as good as won the wager.
Dulipo Oh, how happy were I if this were true?
Erostrato Hear you me, yesterday night in the evening I walked out, and found Pasiphilo, and with small entreating I had him home to supper, where by such means as I used, he became my great friend, and told me the whole order of our adversary’s determination: yea, and what Damon doth intend to do also, and hath promised me that from time to time, what he can espy he will bring me word of it.
Dulipo I cannot tell whether you know him or not, he is not to trust unto, a very flattering and a lying knave.
Erostrato I know him very well, he cannot deceive me: and this that he hath told me I know must needs be true.
Dulipo And what was it in effect?
Erostrato That Damon had purposed to give his daughter in marriage to this doctor, vpon the dower that he hath proffered.
Dulipo Are these your good newes? Your excellent news?
Erostrato Stay a while, you will understand me before you hear me.
Dulipo Well, say on.
Erostrato I answered to that, I was ready to make her the like dower.
Dulipo Well said.
Erostrato Abide, you heard not the worst yet.
Dulipo O God, is there any worse behind?
Erostrato Worse? Why, what assurance could you suppose that I might make without some special consent from Philogano my father?
Dulipo Nay, you can tell, you are better scholar than I.
Erostrato Indeed you have lost your time: for the books that you toss nowadays treat of small science.
Dulipo Leave thy jesting, and proceede.
Erostrato I said further, that I received letters lately from my father, whereby I understood that he would be here very shortly to perform all that I had proffered: therefore I required him to request Damon on my behalf, that he would stay his promise to the doctor for a fortnight or more.
Dulipo This is somewhat yet, for by this means I shall be sure to linger and live in hope one fortnight longer: but, at the forthnights end when Philogano commeth not, how shall I then do? Yea, and though he came, how may I anyway hope of his consent, when he shall see, that to follow this amorous enterprise, I have set aside all study, all remembrance of my duty, and all dread of shame. Alas, alas, I may go hang myself.
Erostrato Comfort yourself, man, and trust in me: there is a slave for every sore, and doubt you not, to this mischief we shall find a remedy.
Dulipo O friend, revive me, that hitherto since I first attempted this matter have been continually dying.
Erostrato Well, harken a while then: this morning I took my horse and rode into the fields to solace myself, and as I passed the ford beyond S. Anthony’s gate, I met at the foot of the hill a gentleman riding with two or three men: and as me thought by his habit and his looks, he should be none of the wisest. He saluted me, and I him: I asked him from whence he came, and whither he would? He answered that he had come from Venice, then from Padua, now was going to Ferrara, and so to his country, which is Siena. As soon as I knew him to be a Senese, suddenly lifting up my eyes, (as it were with an admiration) I said unto him: Are you a Senese, and come to Ferrara? Why not, saide he: quoth I (half and more with a trembling voice) know you the danger that should ensue if you be known in Ferrara to be a Senese? He more than halfe amazed, desired me earnestly to tell him what I meant.
Dulipo I understand not whereto this tendeth.
Erostrato I believe you: but harken to me.
Dulipo Go to, then.
Erostrato I answered him in this sort: Gentleman, because I have heretofore found very courteous entertainment in your country, (being a student there,) I accompt myself as it were bound to a Senese: and therefore if I knew of any mishap towards any of that country, God forbid but I should disclose it: and I marvel that you knew not of the injury that your countrymen offered this other day to the ambassadors of Count Hercules.
Dulipo What tales he telleth me: what appertain these to me?
Erostrato If you will harken a while, you shall find them no tales, but that they appertain to you more than you think for.
Dulipo Forth.
Erostrato I told him further, these ambassadors of Count Hercules had diverse mules, wagons, and charettes, laden with diverse costly jewels, gorgeous furniture, and other things which they carried as presents, (passing that way) to the king of Naples: the which were not only staid in Siene by the officers whom you call customers, but searched, ransacked, tossed and turned, and in the end exacted for tribute, as if they had been the goods of a mean merchant.
Dulipo Whither the devil will he? Is it possible that this gear appertain anything to my cause? I find neither head nor foot in it.
Erostrato O how impatient you are: I pray you stay a while.
Dulipo Go to yet a while, then.
Erostrato I proceeded, that upon these causes the Duke sent his chancellor to declare the case unto the Senate there, of whom he had the most uncourteous answer that ever was heard: wherupon he was so enraged with all of that country, that for revenge he had sworn to spoil as many of them as ever should come to Ferrara, and to send them home in their doublet and their hose.
Dulipo And I pray thee how couldest thou upon the sudden devise or imagine such a lie? And to what purpose?
Erostrato You shall hear by and by a thing as fit for our purpose, as any could have happened.
Dulipo I would fain hear you conclude.
Erostrato You would fain leap over the stile, before you come at the edge: I would you had heard me, and seen the gestures that I enforced to make him believe this.
Dulipo I believe you, for I know you can counterfeit well.
Erostrato Further I said, the Duke had charged upon great penalties, that the innholders and vittlers should bring word daily of as many Seneses as came to their houses. The gentleman being (as I guessed at the first) a man of small sapientia, when he heard these news, would have turned his horse another way.
Dulipo By likelihood he was not very wise when he would believe that of his country, which if it had been true every man must needs have known it.
Erostrato Why not? When he had not been in his country for a month past, and I told him this had happened within these seven days.
Dulipo Belike he was of small experience.
Erostrato I thinke, of as little as may be: but best of all for our purpose, and good adventure it was, that I met with such a one. Now harken, I pray you.
Dulipo Make an end, I pray thee.
Erostrato He, as I say, when he heard these words, would have turned the bridle: and I faining a countenance as though I were somewhat pensieve and careful for him, paused a while, and after with a great sigh said to him: Gentleman, for the courtesie that (as I said) I have found in your country, and because your affairs shall be the better dispatched, I will find the means to lodge you in my house, and you shall say to every man, that you are a Sicilian of Catania, your name Philogano, father to me that am indeed of that country and city, called here Erostrato. And I (to pleasure you) will (during your abode here) do you reverence as you were my father.
Dulipo Out upon me, what a gross hedded fool am I? Now I perceive whereto this tale tendeth.
Erostrato Well, and how like you of it?
Dulipo Indifferently, but one thing I doubt.
Erostrato What is that?
Dulipo Mary, that when he hath been here two or three dayes, he shall hear of every man that there is no such thing between the Duke and the Town of Siena.
Erostrato As for that let me alone, I do entertain and will entertain him so well, that within these two or three days I will disclose unto him all the whole matter, and doubt not but to bring him in for performance of as much as I have promised to Damon: for what hurt can it be to him, when he shall bind a strange name and not his own?
Dulipo What, think you he will be entreated to stand bound for a dower of two thousand Ducates by the year?
Erostrato Yea, why not, (if it were ten thousand) as long as he is not indeed the man that is bound?
Dulipo Well, if it be so, what shall we be the nearer to our purpose?
Erostrato Why? When we have done as much as we can, how can we do any more?
Dulipo And where have you left him?
Erostrato At the Inn, because of his horses: he and his men shall lie in my house.
Dulipo Why brought you him not with you?
Erostrato I thought better to use your advise first.
Dulipo Well, go take him home, make him all the cheer you can, spare for no cost, I will allow it.
Erostrato Content, look where he commeth.
Dulipo Is this he? Go meet him, by my troth he looks even like a good soul, he that fisheth for him, might be sure to catch a cod’s head: I will rest here a while to decipher him.
Erostrato espieth the Senese and goeth towards him: Dulipo standeth aside.
Scœna ii.
The Senese. Paquetto and Petrucio, his seruants. Erostrato.
He that travaileth in this world passeth by many perils.
Pasiphilo You say true sir, if the boat had been a little more laden this morning at the ferry, we had been all drowned, for I think, there are none of us that could have swum.
Senese I speak not of that.
Pasiphilo Oh, you mean the foul way that we had since we came from this Padua, I promise you, I was afraid twice or thrice, that your mule would have lien fast in the mire.
Senese Jesus, what a blockhead thou art! I speak of the peril we are in presently since we came into this city.
Pasiphilo A great peril I promise you, that we were no sooner arrived, but you found a friend that brought you from the Inn, and lodged you in his own house.
Senese Yea, Mary, God reward the gentle young man that we met, for else we had been in a wise case by this time. But have done with these tales, and take you heed, and you also sirra, take heed that none of you say we be Seneses, and remember that you call me Philogano of Catania.
Pasiphilo Sure I shall never remember these outlandish words, I could well remember Haccanea.
Senese I say, Catania, and not Haecanea, with a vengeance.
Pasiphilo Let another name it then when neede is, for I shall never remember it.
Senese Then hold thy peace, and take heed thou name not Siene.
Pasiphilo How say you, if I fain myselfe dum as I did once in the house of Crisobolus?
Senese Do as thou thinkest best: but look where commeth the gentleman whom we are so much bound unto.
Erostrato Welcome, my dear father Philogano.
Senese Gramercy, my good son Erostrato.
Erostrato That is well said, be mindful of your tong, for these Fereareses be as crafty as the devil of hell.
Senese No, no, be you sure we will do as you have bidden us.
Erostrato For if you should name Siene they would spoil you immediately, and turn you out of the town, with more shame than I would should befall you for a thousand crowns.
Senese I warrant you, I was giving them warning as I came to you, and I doubt not but they will take good heed.
Erostrato Yea, and trust not the servants of my houshold too far, for they are Ferrareses all, and never knew my father, nor came neuer in Sicilia: this is my house, will it please you to go in? I will follow.
They go in. Dulipo tarrieth and espieth the Doctor coming in with his man.
Scœna iii.
Dulipo alone.
This gear hath had no evil beginning, if it continues so and fall to happy end. But is not this the silly doctor with the side bonet, the doting fool, that dare presume to become a suitor to such a peerless paragone? Oh, how covetousness doth blind the common sort of men. Damon, more desirous of the dower than mindful of his gentle and gallant daughter, hath determined to make him his son in law, who for his age may be his father in law: and hath greater respect to the abundance of goods, than to his own natural child. He beareth well in mind to fill his own purse, but he little remembreth that his daughter’s purse shall be continually empty, unless master doctor fill it with double duck eggs. Alas: I jest and have no joy, I will stand here aside and laugh a little at this lobcock.
Dulippo espieth the Doctor and his man coming.
Scœna iv.
Carion, the doctor’s man. Cleander. Dulipo.
Master, what the devil mean you to go seek guests at this time of the day? The mayor’s officers have dined ere this time, which are always the last in the market.
Cleander I come to seek Pasiphilo, to the end he may dine with me.
Carion As though six mouths and the cat for the seventh, be not sufficient to eat an harlotry shotterell, a pennyworth of cheese, and half a score spurlings: this is all the dainties you have dressed for you and your familie.
Cleander Ah greedie gut, art thou afeard thou shalt want?
Carion I am afeard indeed, it is not the first time I have found it so.
Dulipo Shall I make some sport with this gallant? What shall I say to him?
Cleander Thou art afeard belike that he will eat thee and the rest.
Carion Nay, rather that he will eat your mule, both hear and hide.
Cleander Hear and hide? And why not flesh and all?
Carion Because she hath none. If she had any flesh, I think you had eaten her yourself by this time.
Cleander She may thank you then, for your good attendance.
Carion Nay, she may thank you for your small allowance.
Dulipo In faith now let me alone.
Cleander Hold thy peace, drunken knave, and espy me Pasiphilo.
Dulipo Since I can do no better, I will set such a staunce betweene him and Pasiphilo, that all this town shall not make them friends.
Carion Could you not have sent to seek him, but you must come yourself? Surely you come for some other purpose, for if you would have had Pasiphilo to dinner, I warrant you he would have tarried here an hour since.
Cleander Hold thy peace, here is one of Damon’s servants, of him I shall understand where he is: good fellow, art not thou one of Damon’s servants?
Dulipo Yes sir, at your comandement.
Cleander Gramercy, tell me then, hath Pasiphilo been there this day or no?
Dulipo Yes sir, and I think he be there still, ah, ah, ah.
Cleander What laughest thou?
Dulipo At a thing, that every man may not laugh at.
Cleander What?
Dulipo Talk, that Pasiphilo had with my master this day.
Cleander What talk I pray thee?
Dulipo I may not tell it.
Cleander Doth it concern me?
Dulipo Nay, I will say nothing.
Cleander Tell me.
Dulipo I can say no more.
Cleander I would but know if it concern me, I pray thee, tell me.
Dulipo I would tell you, if I were sure you would not tell it again.
Cleander Believe me, I will keep it close: Carion give us leave a little, go aside.
Dulipo If my master should know that it came by me, I were better die a thousand deaths.
Cleander He shall never know it, say on.
Dulipo Yea, but what assurance shall I have?
Cleander I lay thee my faith and honesty in pawn.
Dulipo A pretty pawn, the fulkers will not lend you a farthing on it.
Cleander Yea, but amongst honest men it is more worth than gold.
Dulipo Yea, Marie sir, but where be they? But will you needs have me tell it unto you?
Cleander Yea, I pray thee if it anything appertain to me.
Dulipo Yes, it is of you, and I would gladly tell it you, because I would not have such a man of worship so scorned by a villain ribald.
Cleander I pray thee, tell me then.
Dulipo I will tell you so that you will swear never to tell it to Pasiphilo, to my master, nor to any other body.
Carion Surely it is some toy devised to get some money of him.
Cleander I think I have a book here.
Carion If he knew him as well as I, he would never go about it, for he may as soon get one of his teeth from his jawes with a pair of pinchers, as a penny out of his purse with such a conceit.
Cleander Here is a letter will serve the turn: I swear to thee by the contents hereof never to disclose it to any man.
Dulipo I will tell you, I am sorry to see how Pasiphilo doth abuse you, persuading you that always he laboureth for you, where indeed, he lieth on my master continually, as it were with tooth and nail for a stranger, a scholar, born in Sicilia they call him Roscus or arskiss, he hathe a mad name I can never hit upon it.
Cleander And thou recknest it as madly: is it not Erostrato?
Dulipo That same I should never have remembered it: and the villany speaketh al the evil of you that can be devised.
Cleander To whom?
Dulipo To my master, yea, and to Polynesta herself sometimes.
Cleander Is it possible? Ah slave! And what saith he?
Dulipo More evil than I can imagine: that you are the miserablest and most niggardly man that ever was.
Cleander Sayeth Pasiphilo so by me?
Dulipo And that as often as he commeth to your house, he is like to die for hunger, you fare so well.
Cleander That the devil take him else.
Dulipo And that you are the testiest man, and mosta diverse to please in the whole world, so that he cannot please you unless he should even kill himself with continual pain.
Cleander Oh devilish tong.
Dulipo Furthermore, that you cough continually and spit, so that a dog cannot abide it.
Cleander I never spit nor cough more than thus, uho, uho, and that but since I caught this murre, but who is free from it?
Dulipo You say true sir, yet further he saieth, your arm holes stink, your feete worse than they, and your breathe worst of all.
Cleander If I quite him not for this gear.
Dulipo And that you are bursten in the cods.
Cleander O villain, he lieth, and if I were not in the street thou shouldest see them.
Dulipo And he saith, that you desire this young gentle woman, as much for other men’s pleasure as for your own.
Cleander What meaneth he by that?
Dulipo Peradventure that by her beauty, you would entice many young men to your house.
Cleander Young men? To what purpose?
Dulipo Nay, guess you that.
Cleander Is it possible that Pasiphilo speaketh thus of me?
Dulipo Yea, and much more.
Cleander And doth Damon believe him?
Dulipo Yea, more than you would think: in such sort, that long ere this, he woulde have given you a flat repulse, but Pasiphilo entreated him to continue you a suitor for his advantage.
Cleander How for his advantage?
Dulipo Mary, that during your suit he might still have some reward for his great pains.
Cleander He shall have a rope, and yet that is more than he deserveth: I had thought to have given him these hose when I had worn them a little nearer, but he shall have a. etc.
Dulipo In good faith sir, they were but lost on him. Will you anything else with me sir?
Cleander Nay, I have heard to much of thee already.
Dulipo Then I will take my leave of you.
Cleander Farewell, but tell me, may I not know thy name?
Dulipo Sir, they call me Foul fall you.
Cleander An ill favored name by my troth: art thou this country man?
Dulipo No sir, I was born by a castle men call Scabbe, catch you: fare you well sir.
Cleander Farewell. Oh God, how have I been abused? What a spokesman? What a messenger had I provided?
Carion Why sir, will you tarry for Pasiphilo till we die for hunger?
Cleander Trouble me not, that the devil take you both.
Carion These news whatsoever they be, like him not.
Cleander Art thou so hungry yet? I pray to God thou be never satisfied.
Carion By the mass no more I shall as long as I am your servant.
Cleander Go with mischance.
Carion Yea, and a mischief to you, and to all such covetous wretches.
Finis Actus ii.
Dalio, the cook. Crapine, the lackey. Erostrato, Dulipo.
By that time we come to the house, I trust that of these 20 eggs in the basket we shall find but very few whole. But it is a folly to talk to him. What the devil, wilt thou never lay that stick out of thy hand? He fighteth with the dogs, beateth the bears, at everything in the street he findeth occasion to tarry: if he spies a slipstring by the way such another as himself, a page, a lackey or a dwarf, the devil of hell cannot hold him in chains, but he will be doing with him: I cannot go two steps, but I must look back for my younker: go to halter sick, if you break one egg I may chance breake, etc.
Crapino What will you breake? Your nose in mine etc.?
Dalio Ah, beast.
Crapino If I be a beast, yet I am no horned beast.
Dalio Is it even so? Is the wind in that door? If I were unloden I would tell you whether I be a horned beast or no.
Crapino You are always laden either with wine or with ale.
Dalio Ah, spiteful boy, shall I suffer him?
Crapino Ah, cowardely beast, darest thou strike and say never a word?
Dalio Well, my master shall know of this gear, either he shall redress it, or he shall lose one of us.
Crapino Tell him the worst thou canst by me.
Erostrato What noise, what a rule is this?
Crapino Mary, sir, he striketh me because I tell him of his swearing.
Dalio The villaine lieth deadly, he reuiles me bicause I bid him make hast.
Erostrato Holla: no more of this. Dalio, do you make in a readiness those pigeons, stock doves, and also the breast of veal: and let your vessel be as clear as glass against I return, that I may tell you which I will have roasted, and which boiled. Crapine, say down that basket and follow me. Oh that I could tell where to find Pasiphilo, but look where he commeth that can tell me of him.
Dulipo What have you done with Philogano, your father?
Erostrato I have left him within, I would fain speak with Pasiphilo, can you tell me where he is?
Dulipo He dined this day with my master, but whether he went from thence I know not, what would you with him?
Erostrato I would have him go tell Damon that Philogano my father is come and ready to make assurance of as much as he will require. Now shall I teach master doctor a school point, he travaileth to none other end but to catch Cornua, and he shall have them, for as old as he is, and as many subtleties as he hath learned in the law, he cannot go beyond me one ace.
Dulipo O dear friend, go thy ways, seek Pasiphilo, find him out, and conclude somewhat to our contentation.
Erostrato But where shall I find him?
Dulipo At the feasts if there be any, or else in the market with the poulters or the fishmongers.
Erostrato What should he do with them?
Dulipo Mary, he watcheth whose caters buy the best meat. If any buys a fat capon, a good breast of veal, fresh salmon or any such good dish, he followeth to the house, and either with some news, or some stale jest he will be sure to make himself a guest.
Erostrato In faith, and I will seeke there for him.
Dulipo Then must you needs find him, and when you have done I will make you laugh.
Erostrato Whereat?
Dulipo At certain sport I made today with master doctor.
Erostrato And why not now?
Dulipo No, it asketh further leisure, I pray thee dispatch, and find out Pasiphilo, that honest man.
Dulipo tarrieth.
Erostrato goeth out.
Scœna ii.
Dulipo alone.
This amorous cause that hangeth in controversie between Domine doctor and me, may be compared to them that play at primero: of whom some one peradventure shall leise a great sum of money before he wins one stake, and at last half in anger shall set up his rest: win it: and after that another, another, and another, till at last he draws the most part of the money to his heap: the other by litle and litle stil diminishing his rest, till at last he becomes as near the brink, as earst the other was: yet again peradventure fortune smiling on him, he shal as it were by piece meal, pull out the guts of his fellow’s bags, and bring him barer than he himself was tofore, and so in play continue stil, (fortune favoring now this way, now that way) till at last the one of them is left with as many crosses as God hath brethren. Oh how often have I thought myself sure of the upper hand herein? But I triumphed before the victory. And then how often again have I thought the field lost? Thus have I been tossed now over, now under, even as fortune list to whirl the wheel, neither sure to win nor certain to loose the wager. And this practise that now my servant hath devised, although hitherto it hath not succeeded amiss, yet can I not count myself assured of it: for I feare still that one mischance or other will come and turn it topsy-turvy. But look where my master commeth.
Damon comming in, espieth Dulipo and calleth him.
Scœna iii.
Damon. Dulipo. Nevola, and two more servants.
Dulipo.
Dulipo Here, sir.
Dalio Go in and bid Neuola and his fellowes come hither that I may tell them what they shall go about, and go you into my study: thereupon the shelf you shall find a roll of writings which John of the Dean made to my Father, when he sold him the Grange farm, endorsed with both their names: bring it hither to me.
Dulipo It shall be done, sir.
Dalio Go, I will prepare other manner of writings for you than you are aware of. O fools that trust any man but themselves nowadays: oh spiteful fortune, thou dost me wrong I think, that from the depth of Hell pit thou hast sent me this servant to be the subversion of me and all mine. Come hither sirs, and hear what I shall say unto you: go into my study, where you shall finde Dulipo, step to him all at once, take him and (with a cord that I have laid on the table for the nonce) bind him hand and foot, carry him into the dungeon under the stairs, make fast the dore and bring me the key, it hangeth by upon a pin on the wall. Dispatch and do this gear as privily as you can: and thou, Nevola, come hither to me again with speed.
Nevola Well, I shall.
Dalio Alas, how shall I be revenged of this extreme despite? If I punish my servant according to his devilish deserts, I shall heap further cares upon my own head: for to such detestable offences no punishment can seem sufficient, but only death, and in such cases it is not lawful for a man to be his own carver. The laws are ordained, and officers appointed to minister justice for the reddress of wrongs: and if to the potestates I complain me, I shall publish my own reproach to the world. Yea, what should it prevail me to use all the punishments that can be devised? The thing once done cannot be undone. My daughter is deflowered, and I utterly dishonested: how can I then wipe that blot off my brow? And on whom shall I seek revenge? Alas, alas, I myself have been the cause of all these cares, and have deserved to bear the punishment of all these mishaps. Alas, I should not have committed my dearest darling in custody to so careless a creature as this olde nurse: for we see by common proof, that these olde women be either peevish, or pitiful: either easily enclined to evil, or quickly corrupted with bribes and rewards. O wife, my good wife (that now liest cold in the grave), now may I well bewail the want of thee, and mourning now may I bemoan that I miss thee: if thou hadst lived such was thy governement of the least things that thou wouldest prudently have provided for the preservation of this pearl. A costly jewel may I well accompt her, that hath been my chief comfort in youth, and is now become the corosive of my age. O Polynesta, full evil hast thou requited the clemency of thy careful father: and yet to excuse thee guiltless before God, and to condemn thee guilty before the world, I can count none other but my wretched self the caytife and causer of all my cares. For of all the duties that are requisite in human life, only obedience is by the parents to be required of the child: where on the other side the parents are bound, first to beget them, then to bring them forth, after to nourish them, to preserve them from bodily perils in the cradle, from danger of soul by godly education, to match them in consort enclined to virtue, to banish them all idle and wanton company, to allow them sufficient for their sustentation, to cut off excess the open gate of sin, seldom or never to smile on them unless it be to their encouragement in virtue, and finally, to provide them mariages in time convenient, lest (neglected of vs) they learn to set either too much or too litle by themselves. Five years are past since I might have married her, when by continual excuses I have prolonged it to my own perdition. Alas, I should have considered, she is a collop of my own flesh: what should I think to make her a princess? Alas alas, a poor kingdom have I now caught to endowe her with. It is too true, that of all sorrows this is the head source and chief fountain of all furies: the goods of the world are uncertain, the gains to be rejoyced at, and the loss not greatly to be lamented. Only the children cast away, cutteth the parents throat with the knife of inward care, which knife will kill me surely, I make none other accompt.
Damon’s seruants come to him againe.
Scœna iv.
Nevola. Damon. Pasiphilo.
Sir, we have done as you had us, and here is the key.
Dalio Well, go then, Nevola, and seeke master Casteling the jailer, he dwelleth by S. Antony’s gate, desire him too lend me a pair of the fetters he useth for his prisoners, and come again quickly.
Nevola Well sir.
Dalio Hear you, if he asks what I would do with them, say you cannot tell, and tell neither him nor any other, what is become of Dulipo.
Damon goeth out.
I warrant you sir. Fie upon the devil, it is a thing almost impossible for a man nowadays to handle money, but the metal will stick on his fingers: I marvelled always at this fellow of mine, Dulipo, that of the wages he received, he could maintain himselfe so bravely apparelled, but now I perceive the cause, he had the disbursing and receipt of all my master’s affairs, the keys of the granair, Dulipo here, Dulipo there, favoure with my master, in favour with his daughter, what would you more, he was Magister factotum: he was as fine as the Crusader, and we silly wretches as course as canvas: well, behold what it is come to in the end, he had been better to have done less.
Pasiphilo Thou saiest true Nevola, he hath done too much indeed.
Nevola From whence commest thou, in the devil’s name?
Pasiphilo Out of the same house thou camest from, but not out of the same door.
Nevola We had thought thou hadst been gone long since.
Pasiphilo When I arose from the table, I felt a rumbling in my belly, which made me run to the stable, and there I fell asleep upon the straw, and have lain there ever since. And thou? Whether goest thou?
Nevola My master hath sent me on an errand in great hast.
Pasiphilo Whether, I pray thee?
Nevola Nay, I may not tell. Farewell.
Pasiphilo As though I need any further instructions. Oh God, what news I heard euen now, as I lay in the stable: O good Erostrato and pore Cleander, that have so earnestly stroven for this damsel, happy is he that can get her, I promise you, he shall be sure of more than one at a clap that catcheth her, either Adam or Eve within her belly. Oh God, how men may be deceived in a woman? Who would haue believed the contrary but that she had been a virgin? Ask the neighbours and you shall hear very good report of her. Marke her behaviours and you would have judged her very maidenly: seldom seen abroad but in place of prayer, and there very devout, and no gaser at outward sights, no blaser of her beauty above in the windows, no stale at the door for the bypassers. You would have thought her a holy young woman. But much good do it, Domine Doctor, he shall be sure to lack no corn in a dear year, whatsoever he have with her else: I beshrew me if I let the marriage anyway. But is not this the old scabbed quean that I heard disclosing all this gear to her master, as I stood in the stable ere now? It is she. Whither goeth Psiteria?
Pasiphilo espieth Psiteria coming.
Scœna iv.
Psitera. Pasiphilo.
To a gossip of mine hereby.
Pasiphilo What? To tattle of the goodly stir that thou keptst concerning Polynesta.
Psiteria No no: but how knew you of that gear?
Pasiphilo You told me.
Psiteria I? When did I tell you?
Pasiphilo Even now when you told it to Damon, I both saw you and heard you, though you saw not me: a good part I promise you, to accuse the poor wench, kill the old man with care, over and besides the danger you have brought Dulipo and the nurse unto, and many more, fie, fie.
Psiteria Indeed I was to blame, but not so much as you think.
Pasiphilo And how not so much? did I not hear you tell?
Psiteria Yes, but I will tell you how it came to pass: I have known for a great while, that this Dulipo and Polynesta have lain together, and all by the means of the nurse: yet I held my peace, and never told it. Now this other day the nurse sell on scolding with me, and twice or thrice called me drunken old whore, and such names that it was too bad: and I called her bawd, and told her that I knew well enough how often she had brought Dulipo to Polynesta’s bed: yet all this while I thought not that anybody had heard me, but it befell clean contrary: for my master was on the other side of the wall, and heard all our tale, whereupon he sent for me, and forced me to confess all that you heard.
Pasiphilo And why wouldest thou tell him? I would not for etc.
Psiteria Well, if I had thought my master would have taken it so, he should rather have killed me.
Pasiphilo Why? How could he take it?
Psiteria Alas, it pitieth me to see the poor young woman how she weepes, wailes, and tears her hair: not esteeming her own life half so dear as she doth poor Dulipo’s: and her father, he weepes on the other side, that it would pierce an heart of stone with pity: but I must be gone.
Pasiphilo Go that the gunpowder consume thee, old trot.
Finis Actus iii.
Erostrato, fained.
What shall I do? Alas, what remedy shall I find for my rueful estate? What escape, or what excuse may I now devise to shift over our subtle supposes? For though to this day I have usurped the name of my master, and that without check or control of any man, now shall I be openly deciphered, and that in the sight of every man: now shall it openly be known, whether I be Erostrato the gentleman, or Dulipo the servant. We have hitherto played our parts in abusing others: but now commeth the man that will not be abused, the right Philogano the right father of the right Erostrato: going to seek Pasiphilo, and hearing that he was at the water gate, behold I espied my fellow Litio, and by and by my old master Philogano setting forth his first step on land: I too fuge and away hither as fast as I could to bring word to the right Erostrato, of his right father Philogano, that to so sudden a mishap some subtle shift might be upon the sudden devised. But what can be imagined to serve the turn, although we had months respite to beat our brains about it, since we are commonly known, at the least supposed in this town, he for Dulipo, a slave and servant to Damon, and I for Erostrato a gentleman and a student? But behold, runs Crapine to yonder old woman before she gets within the doors, and desires her to call out Dulipo: but hear you? If she asks who would speak with him, say thyself and none other.
Erostrato espieth Psiteria coming, and sendeth his lackey to her.
Scœna ii.
Crapine. Psiteria. Erostrato, fained.
Honest woman, you gossip, thou rotten whore, hearest thou not, old witch?
Psiteria A rope stretch your young bones, either you must live to be as old as I, or be hanged while you are young.
Crapino I pray thee, looke if Dulipo be within.
Psiteria Yes, that he is I warrant him.
Crapino Desire him then to come hither and speak a word with me, he shall not tarry.
Psiteria Content yourself, he is otherwise occupied.
Crapino Yet tell him so, gentle girl.
Psiteria I tell you he is busy.
Crapino Why is it such a matter to tell him so, thou crooked crone?
Psiteria A rope stretch you, Mary.
Crapino A pox eat you, Mary.
Psiteria Thou wilt be hanged, I warrant thee, if thou live to it.
Crapino And thou wilt be burnt, I warrant thee, if the canker consumes thee not.
Psiteria If I come near you hempstring, I will teach you to sing solfa.
Crapino Come on, and if I get a stone I will scare crows with you.
Psiteria Go with a mischief, I think thou be some devil that would tempt me.
Erostrato Crapine: heare you? Come away, let her go with a vengeance, why come you not? Alas, look where my master Philogano commeth: what shall I do? where shall I hide me? He shall not see me in these clothes, nor before I have spoken with the right Erostrato.
Erostrato espieth Phylogano coming, and runneth about to hide him.
Scœna iii.
Philogano. Ferrarese, the innkeeper. Litio, a seruant.
Honest man it is even so: be you sure there is no love to be compared like the love of the parents towards their children. It is not long since I thought that a very weighty matter should not have made me come out of Sicilia, and yet now I have taken this tedious toil and travail upon me, only to see my son, and to have him home with me.
Ferrarese By my faith sir, it hath been a great travail indeed, and too much for one of your age.
Philogano Yea, be you sure: I came in companie with certain gentlemen of my country, who had affairs to dispatch as far as to Aneona, from thence by water to Ravenna, and from Ravenna hither, continually against the tide.
Ferrarese Yea, and I think that you had but homely lodging by the way.
Philogano The worst that ever man had: but that was nothing to the stir that the searchers kept with me when I came aborde the ship: Jesus, how often they untrussed my male, and ransaked a little capcase that I had, tossed and turned all that was within it, searched my bosom, yea, my breeches, that I assure you I thought they would have flayed me to search between the fell and the flesh for fardings.
Ferrarese Sure I have heard no less, and that the merchants bob them sometimes, but they play the knaves still.
Philogano Yea, be you well assured, such an office is the inheritance of a knave, and an honest man will not meddle with it.
Ferrarese Well, this passage shall seem pleasant unto you when you shall find your child in health and well: but I pray you, sir, why did you not rather send for him into Sicilia, than to come yourself, sepecially since you had none other business? Peradventure you had rather endangered yourself by this noisome journey, than hazard to draw him from his study.
Philogano Nay, that was not the matter, for I had rather have him give over his study altogether and come home.
Ferrarese Why? If you minded not to make him learned, to what end did you send him hither at the first?
Philogano I will tell you: when he was at home he did as most young men do, he played many mad pranks and did many things that liked me not very well: and I, thinking that by that time he had seen the world, he would learn to know himself better, exhorted him to study, and put in his election what place he would go to. At the last he came hither, and I think he was scarce here so soon as I felt the want of him, in such sort, as from that day to this I have passed few nights without tears. I have written to him very often that he should come home, but continually he refused still, beseeching me to continue his study, wherein he doubted not (as he said) but to profit greatly.
Ferrarese Indeed he is very much commended of all men, and especially of the best reputed students.
Philogano I am glad he hath not lost his time, but I care not greatly for so much knowledge. I would not be without the sight of him againeso long, for all the learning in the world. I am old now, and if God should call me in his absence, I promise you I think it would drive me into desperation.
Ferrarese It is commendable in a man to love his children but to be so tender over them is more womanlike?
Philogano Well, I confess it is my fault: and yet I will tell you another cause of my comming hither, more weighty than this. Diverse of my country haue been here since he came hither, by whom I have sent unto him, and some of them haue been thrice, some four or five times at his house, and yet could never speak with him. I fear he applies his study so that he will not lose the minute of an hour from his book. What, alas, he might yet talk with his countrymen for a while: he is a young man, tenderly brought up, and if he fare thus continually night and day at his book, it may be enough to drive him into a frenzy.
Ferrarese Indeed, enough were as good as a feast. Loe you sir here is your son Erostratoe’s house, I will knock.
Philogano Yea, I pray you knock.
Ferrarese They hear not.
Philogano Knock again.
Ferrarese I think they be aspleep.
Litio If this gate were your grandefather’s soul, you could not knock more softly, let me come: ho, ho, is there anybody within?
Dalio commeth to the window, and there maketh them answer.
Scœna iv.
Dalio, the cook. Ferrarese, the innholder. Philogano. Litio, his man.
What devil of hell is there? I think he will break the gates in pieces.
Litio Mary, sir, we had thought you had been asleep within, and therefore we thought best to wake you: what doth Erostrato?
Dalio He is not within.
Philogano Open the door, good fellow, I pray thee.
Dalio If you think to lodge here, you are deceived, I tell you, for here are guests enow already.
Philogano A good fellow, and much for thy master’s honesty by our Lady: and what guests, I pray thee?
Dalio Here is Philogano, my master’s father, lately come out of Sicilia.
Philogano Thou speakest truer than thou art aware of, he will be, by that time thou hast opened the door: open, I pray thee heartily.
Dalio It is a small matter for me to open the door, but here is no lodging for you, I tell you plain, the house is full.
Philogano Of whom?
Dalio I told you: here is Philogano, my maister’s father come from Catania.
Philogano And when came he?
Dalio He came three hours since, or more, he alighted at the Angel, and left his horses there: afterwards my master brought him hither.
Philogano Good fellow, I think thou hast good sport to mock me.
Dalio Nay, I think you have good sport to make me tarry here, as though I have nothing else to do: I am matched with an unruly mate in the kitchen. I will go look to him another while.
Philogano I think he be drunken.
Ferrarese Sure he seems so: see you not how red he is about the gills?
Philogano Abide fellow, what Philogano is it whom thou talkest of?
Dalio An honest gentleman, father to Erostrato my master.
Philogano And where is he?
Dalio Here within.
Philogano May we see him?
Dalio I think you may if you be not blind.
Philogano Go to, go tell him here is one would speak with him.
Dalio Mary, that I will willingly do.
Philogano I cannot tell what I should say to this gear. Litio, what thinkest thou of it?
Litio I cannot tell you what I should say sir, the world is large and long, there may be more Philoganos and more Erostratos than one, yea and more Ferraras, more Sicilias, and more Catanias: peradventure this is not that Ferrara whiche you sent your son unto.
Philogano Peradventure thou art a fool, and he was another that answered us even now. But be you sure honest man, that you mistake not the house?
Ferrarese Nay, then god help, think you I know not Erostrato’s house? Yes, and himself also: I saw him here no longer since than yesterday. But here comes one that will tell us tidings of him, I like his countenance better than the others that answered at the window erewhile.
Dalio draweth his hed in at the window, the Senese commeth out.
Scœna v.
Senese. Philogano. Dalio.
Would you speak with me, sir?
Philogano Yea sir, I would fain know whence you are.
Senese Sir, I am a Sicilian, at your commandement.
Philogano What part of Sicilia?
Senese Of Catania.
Philogano What shall I call your name?
Senese My name is Philogano.
Philogano What trade do you occupy?
Senese Merchandise.
Philogano What merchandise brought you hither?
Senese None, I came only to see a son that I have here whom I saw not these two years.
Philogano What call they your son?
Senese Erostrato.
Philogano Is Erostrato your son?
Senese Yea, verily.
Philogano And are you Philogano?
Senese The same.
Philogano And a marchant of Catania?
Senese What need I tell you so often? I will not tell you a lie.
Philogano Yes, you have told me a false lie, and thou art a villain and no better.
Senese Sir, you offer me great wrong with these injurious words.
Philogano Nay, I will do more than I have yet proffered to do, for I will prove thee a liar, and a knave to take upon thee that thou art not.
Senese Sir, I am Philogano of Catania, out of all doubt, if I were not I would be loth to tell you so.
Philogano Oh, see the boldness of this brute beast, what a brasen face he setteth on it?
Senese Well, you may beleive me if you list: what wonder you?
Philogano I wonder at thy impudence, for thou, nor nature that framed thee, can ever counterfeit thee to be me, ribald villain, and lying wretch that thou art.
Dalio Shall I suffer a knave to abuse my master’s father thus? Hence villain, hence, or I will sheath this good falchion in your paunch: if my master Erostrato finds you prating here on this fashion to his father, I would not be in your coat for more cony skins than I gat these twelve months: come you in again sir, and let this cur bark here till he bursts.
Dalio pulleth the Senese in at the doors.
Scœna vi.
Philogano. Litio. Ferrarese.
Litio, how likest thou this gear?
Litio Sir, I like it as evil as may be: but have you not often heard tell of the falsehood of Ferrara, and now may you see, it falleth out accordingly.
Ferrarese Friend, you do not well to slander the city, these men are no Ferrareses you may know by their tongue.
Litio Well, there is never a barrel better herring, between you both: but indeed your officers are most to blame, that suffer such faults to escape unpunished.
Ferrarese What know the officers of this? Think you they know of every fault?
Litio Nay, I think they will know as little as may be, especially when they have no gaines, by it, but they ought to have their ears as open to hear of such offences, as the inngates be to receive guests.
Philogano Hold thy peace, fool.
Litio By the mass I am afeard that we shall be proved fools both two.
Philogano Well, what shall we do?
Litio I would think best we should go seeke Erostrato himself.
Ferrarese I will wait upon you willingly, and either at the schools, or at the convocations, we shall find him.
Philogano By our Lady I am weary, I will run no longer about to seek him, I am sure hither he will come at the last.
Litio Sure, my mind gives me that we shall find a new Erostrato ere it be long.
Ferrarese Look where he is, whether runs he? stay you awhile, I will go tell him that you are here: Erostrato, Erostraro, ho Erostrato, I would speak with you.
Erostrato is espied vpon the stage running about.
Scœna vii.
Fained Erostrato. Ferrarese. Philogano. Litio. Dalio.
Now can I hide me no longer. Alas, what shall I do: I will set a good face on, to bear out the matter.
Ferrarese O Erostrato, Philogano your father is come out of Sicilia.
Erostrato Tell me that I know not, I have been with him and seen him already.
Ferrarese Is it possible? And it seemeth by him that you know not of his coming.
Erostrato Why, have you spoken with him? When saw you him, I pray you?
Ferrarese Look you where he stands, why go you not to him? Look you Philogano, behold your dear son Erostrato.
Philogano Erostrato? This is not Erostrato: this seemeth rather to be Dulipo, and it is Dulipo indeed.
Litio Why, doubt you of that?
Erostrato What saith this honest man?
Philogano Mary, sir, indeed you are so honorably glad, it is no maruell if you look big.
Erostrato To whome speaketh he?
Philogano What, God help, do you not know me?
Erostrato As far as I remember, sir, I never saw you before.
Philogano Hark, Litio, he is good gear, this honest man will not know me.
Erostrato Gentleman, you take your marks amiss.
Litio Did I not tell you of the falsehood of Ferrara, master? Dulipo hath learned to play the knave indifferently well since he came hither.
Philogano Peace, I say.
Erostrato Friend, my name is not Dulipo, ask you thorough out this town of great and small, they know me: ask this honest man that is with you, if you will not believe me.
Ferrarese Indeed, I never knew him otherwise called than Erostrato: and so they call him, as many as know him.
Litio Master, now you may see the falsehood of these fellows: this honest man your host, is of counsel with him, and would face us down that it is Erostrato: beware of these mates.
Ferrarese Friend, thou dost me wrong to suspect me, for sure I never heard him otherwise called than Erostrato.
Erostrato What name could you hear me called by, but by my right name? But I am wise enough to stand prating here with this old man, I think he be mad.
Philogano Ah runagate, ah villain traitor, dost thou use thy master thus? What hast thou done with my son, villain?
Dalio Doth this dog barke here still? And will you suffer him master thus to revile you?
Erostrato Come in, come in, what wilt thou do with this pestil?
Dalio I will rap the old cackabed on the costard.
Erostrato Away with it, and you sirra, lay down these stones: come in at door everyone of you, bear with him for his age, I pass not of his evil words.
Erostrato taketh all his servants in at the doors.
Scœna vii.
Philogano. Ferrarese. Litio.
Alas, who shall relieve my miserable estate? To whom shall I complain? Since he whom I brought up of a child, yea, and cherished him as if he had been mine own, doth now utterly deny to know me: and you whom I took for an honest man, and he that should have brought me to the sight of my son, are compact with this false wretch, and would face me down that he is Erostrato. Alas, you might have some compassion of my age, to the misery I am now in, and that I am a stranger desolate of all comfort in this country: or at the least, you should have feared the vengeance of God the supreme judge (which knoweth the secrets of all hearts) in hearing this false witness with him, whom heaven and earth do know to be Dulipo and not Erostrato.
Litio If there be many such witnesses in this coūtrey, men may go about to proue what they wil in cōtrouersies here.
Ferrarese Well sir, you may judge of me as it pleaseth you: and how the matter commeth to pass I know not, but truly, ever since he came first hither, I have known him by the name of Erostrato, the son of Philogano, a Cathanese: now whether he be so indeed, or whether he be Dulipo (as you allege) let that be proved by them that knew him before he came hether. But I protest before God, that which I have said, is neither a matter compact with him, nor any other, but even as I have heard him called and reputed of al men.
Philogano Out and alas, he whom I sent hither with my son to be his servant, and to give attendance on him, hath either cut his throat, or by some evil means made him away: and hath not only taken his garments, his books, his money, and that which he brought out of Sicilia with him, but usurpeth his name also, and turneth to his own commodity the bills of exchange that I have always allowed for my son’s expences. Oh miserable Philogano, oh unhappy old man: oh eternal God, is there no judge? No officer? No higher powers whom I may complain unto for redress of these wrongs?
Ferrarese Yes sir, we have potestates, we have judges, and above all, we have a most just prince: doubt you not, but you shall have justice if your cause be just.
Philogano Bring me then to the judges, to the potestates, or to whom you think best: for I will disclose a pack of the greatest knavery, a fardel of the fowlest falsehood that ever was heard of.
Litio Sir, he that will go to the law, must be sure of four things: first, a right and a just cause; then a righteous advocate to plead; next, favour coram iudice; and above all, a good purse to procure it.
Ferrarese I have not heard, that the law hath any respect to favour: what you mean by it I cannot tell.
Philogano Have you no regard to his words, he is but a fool.
Ferrarese I pray you sir, let him tell me what is favour.
Litio Favour call I, to have a friend near about the judge, who may so solicite thy cause, as if it be right, speedy sentence may ensue without any delays: if it be not good, then to prolong it, till at the last, thy adversary being weary, shall be glad to compound with thee.
Ferrarese Of thus much (although I never heard thus much in this country before) doubt you not Philogano, I will bring you to an advocate that shall speede you accordingly.
Philogano Then shall I give myself, as it were a pray to the lawyers, whose insatiable jaws I am not able to feed, although I had here all the goods and lands which I possess in my own country: much less being a stranger in this misery. I know their cautels of old: at the first time I come they will so extol my cause, as though it were already won: but within a sevennight or ten days, if I do not continually feed them as the crow doth her brats, twenty times in an hour, they will begin to wax cold, and to find cavils in my cause, saying, that at the first I did not well instruct them, till at the last, they will not only draw the stuffing out of my purse, but the marrow out of my bones.
Ferrarese Yea sir, but this man that I tell you of, is half a saint.
Litio And the other half a devil, I hold a penny.
Philogano Well sayd Litio, indeed I have but small confidence in their smooth looks.
Ferrarese Well sir, I think this whom I mean, is no such manner of man: but if he were, there is such hatred and evil wiòl between him and this gentleman (whether he be Erostrato or Dulipo, whatsoever he be) that I warrant you, he will do whatsoever he can do for you, were it but to spite him.
Philogano Why? What hatred is betwixt them?
Ferrarese They are both in love and suitors to one gentlewoman, the daughter of a wealthy man in this city.
Philogano Why? Is the villain become of such estimation that he dare presume to be a suitor to any gentlewoman of a good family?
Ferrarese Yea, sir, out of all doubt.
Philogano How call you his adversary?
Ferrarese Cleander, one of the excellentest doctors in our city.
Philogano For God’s love let us go to him.
Ferrarese Go we then.
Finis Actus iv.
Fained Erostrato.
What a mishap was this? That before I could meet with Erostrato, I have light even full in the lap of Philogano: where I was constrained to deny my name, to deny my master, and to fain that I knew him not, to contend with him, and to revile him, in such sort, that hap what hap can, I can never hap well in favour with him again. Therefore if I could come to speak with the right Erostrato, I will renounce unto him both habit and credit, and away as fast as I can trudge into some strange country, where I may never see Philogano again. Alas, he that of a little child hath brought me up unto this day, and nourished me as if I had been his own: and indeed (to confess the truth) I have no father to trust unto but him. But look where Pasiphilo commeth, the fittest man in the world to go on me message to Erostrato.
Erostrato espieth Pasiphilo coming towards him.
Scœna ii.
Pasiphilo. Erostrato.
Two good news have I heard today already: one that Erostrato prepared a great feast this night: the other, that he seeketh for me. And I too ease him of his travail, least he should run up and down seeking me, and because no man loveth better than I to have an errand where good cheer is, come in post hast even home to his own house: and look where he is.
Erostrato Pasiphilo, thou must do one thing for me if thou love me.
Pasiphilo If I love you not, who loves you? Command me.
Erostrato Go then a little there, to Damon’s house, aske for Dulipo, and tell him.
Pasiphilo What you what? I cannot speak with him, he is in prison.
Erostrato In prison? How commeth that to pass? Where is he in prison?
Pasiphilo In a vile dungeon there within his master’s house.
Erostrato Canst thou tell wherefore?
Pasiphilo Be you content to know he is in prison, I have told you too much.
Erostrato If ever you will do anything for me, tell me.
Pasiphilo I pray you desire me not, what were you the better if you knew?
Erostrato More than thou thinkest Pasiphilo by God.
Pasiphilo Well, and yet it stands me upon more than you think, to keepe it secret.
Erostrato Why Pasiphilo, is this the trust I have had in you? Are these the fair promises you have always made me?
Pasiphilo By the mass I would I had fasted this night with master doctor, rather than have come hither.
Erostrato Well, Pasiphilo, either tell me, or at few words never think to be welcome to this house from henceforth.
Pasiphilo Nay, yet I had rather lease all the Gentlemen in this town. But if I tell you anything that displease you, blame nobody but yourself now.
Erostrato There is nothing can grieve me more than Dulipo’s mishap, no not my own: and therfore I am sure thou canst tell me no worse tidings.
Pasiphilo Well, since you would needs have it, I wil tell you: he was taken a bed with your beloved Polynesta.
Erostrato Alas, and doth Damon know it?
Pasiphilo An old trot in the house disclosed it to him, wherupon he took both Dulipo and the nurse which hath been the broker of all this bargain, and clapped them both in a cage, where I think they shall have sorrow sops to their sweet meats.
Erostrato Pasiphilo, go thy ways into the kitchen, command the cook to boil and roast what liketh thee best, I make thee supervisor of this supper.
Pasiphilo By the mass if you should have studied this sevennight, you could not have appointed me an office to please me better. You shall swe what dishes I will devise.
Pasiphilo goeth in, Erostrato tarrieth.
Scœna iii.
Fained Erostrato alone.
I was glad to rid him out of the way, least he should see me burst out of these swelling tears, which hitherto with great pain I have prisoned in my breast, and least he should hear the echo of my doubled sighs, which bounce from the bottom of my heavy heart. Oh cursed I, oh cruel fortune, that so many dispersed griefs as were sufficient to subvert a legion of lovers, hast suddenly assembled within my careful carcass to treat this fearful heart in sunder with desperation. Thou that hast kept my master all his youth within the realm of Sicilia, reserving the wind and waves in a temperate calm (as it were at his commande), now to convey his aged limbs hither, neither sooner nor later: but even in the worst time that may be. If at any time before thou haddest conducted him, this enterprise had been cut off without care in the beginning: and if never so little longer thou hadst lingered his journey, this happy day might then have fully finished our drifts and devises. But alas, thou hast brought him even in the very worst time, to plunge us all in the pit of perdition. Neither art thou content to entangle me alone in thy ruinous ropes, but thou must also catch the right Erostrato in thy crooked claws, to reward us both with open shame and rebuke. Two years hast thou kept secret our subtil supposes, even this day to decipher them with a sorrowful success. What shall I do? Alas, what shift shall I make? It is too late now to imagine any further deceit, for every minute seemeth an hour till I find some succor for the miserable captive Erostrato. Well, since there is no other remedy, I will go to my master Philogano, and to him will I tell the whole truth of the matter, that at the least he may provide in time, before his son feel the smart of some sharp revenge and punishment. This is the best, and thus will I do. Yet I know, that for my own part I shall do bitter penance for my faults forepassed: but such is the good will and duty that I bear to Erostrato, as even with the loss of my life I must not stick to adventure anything which may turn to his commodity. But what shall I do? shall I go seek my master about the town, or shall I tarry his return hither? If I meet him in the streets, he will cry out upon me, neither will he harken to anything that I shall say, till he have gathered all the people wondering about me, as it were at an owl. Therefore I were better to abide here, and yet if he tarries long I will go seek him, rather than prolong the time to Erostrato’s perill.
Pasiphilo returneth to Erostrato.
Scœna iv.
Pasiphilo. Fained Erostrato.
Yea, dress them, but lay them not to the fire, till they will be ready to sit down. This gear goeth in order: but if I had not gone in, there had fallen a foul fault.
Erostrato And what fault, I pray thee?
Pasiphilo Mary, Dalio would have laid the shoulder of mutton and the capon both to the fire at once like a fool: he did not consider, that the one would have more roasting than the other.
Erostrato Alas, I would this were the greatest fault.
Pasiphilo Why? and either the one should have been burned before the other had been roasted, or else he must have drawn them off the spite: and they would have been served to the board either cold or raw.
Erostrato Thou hast reason, Pasiphilo.
Pasiphilo Now sir, if it please you I will go into the town and buy oranges, olives, and caphers, for without such sauce the supper were more than half lost.
Erostrato There are within already, doubt you not, there shall lack nothing that is necessary.
Pasiphilo Since I told him these news of Dulipo, he is clean beside himself: he hath so many hammers in his head, that his brains are ready to burst: and let them break, so I may sup with him tonight, what care I? But is not this Dominus noster Cleandrus that commeth before? Well said, by my truth we will teach master Doctor to wear a cornered cap of a new fashion. By God, Polynesta shall be his, he shall have her out of doubt, for I have told Erostrato such news of her, that he will none of her.
Cleander and Philogano come in, talking of the matter in controversy.
Scœna v.
Cleander. Philogano. Litio. Pasiphilo.
Yea, but how will you prove that he is not Erostrato, having such presumptions to the contrary? Or how shall it be thought that you are Philogano, when another taketh upon him this same name, and for proof bringeth him for a witness, which hath been ever reputed here for Erostrato?
Philogano I will tell you sir, let me be kept here fast in prison, and at my charges let there be some man sent into Sicilia, that may bring hither with him two or three of the honestest men in Catania, and by them let it be proved if I or this other be Philogano, and whether he be Erostrato or Dulipo my servant: and if you find me contrary, let me suffer death for it.
Pasiphilo I will go salute master Doctor.
Cleander It will ask great labour and great expences to prove it this way, but it is the best remedy that I can see.
Pasiphilo God save you sir.
Cleander And reward you as you have deserved.
Pasiphilo Then shall he give me your favour continually.
Cleander He shall give you a halter, knave and villain that thou art.
Pasiphilo I know I am a knave, but no villain. I am your servant.
Cleander I neither take thee for my seruant, nor for my friend.
Pasiphilo Why? wherein have I offended you sir?
Cleander Hence to the gallows knave.
Pasiphilo What soft and fair sir, I pray you, i praesequar, you are my elder.
Cleander I will be even with you, be you sure, honest man.
Pasiphilo Why sir? I never offended you.
Cleander Well, I will teach you: out of my sight, knave.
Pasiphilo What? I am no dog, I would you wist.
Cleander Pratest thou yet, villain? I will make thee.
Pasiphilo What will you make me? I see well the more a man doth suffer you, the worse you are.
Cleander Ah villain, if it were not for this gentleman, I would tell you what I.
Pasiphilo Villain? Nay, I am as honest a man as you.
Cleander Thou liest in thy throat, knave.
Philogano O sir, stay your wisdom.
Pasiphilo What will you fight? Mary, come on.
Cleander Well knave, I will meet with you another time, go your way.
Pasiphilo Even when you list sir, I will be your man.
Cleander And if I be not even with thee, call me out.
Pasiphilo Nay by the mass, all is one, I care not, for I have nothing: if I had either lands or goods, peradventure you would pull me into the law.
Philogano Sir, I perceive your patience is moved.
Cleander This villain: but let him go, I will see him punished as he hath deserved. Now to the matter, how said you?
Philogano This fellow hath disquieted you sir, peradventure you would be loth to be troubled any further.
Cleander Not a whit, say on, and let him go with a vengeance.
Philogano I say, let them send at my charge to Catania.
Cleander Yea, I remember that well, and it is the surest way as this case requireth: but tell me, how is he your servant? and how come you by him? Inform me fully in the matter.
Philogano I will tell you sir: when the Turks won Otranto.
Cleander Oh, you put me in remembrance of my mishaps.
Philogano How sir?
Cleander For I was driven among the rest out of the town (it is my native country) and there I lost more than ever I shall recover again while I live.
Philogano Alas, a pitiful case, by S. Anne.
Cleander Well, proceed.
Philogano At that time (as I said) there were certain of our country that scoured those costs upon the seas, with a good bark; well appointed for the purpose, and had espial of a Turkey vessel that came laden from thence with great abundance of riches.
Cleander And peradventure most of mine.
Philogano So they boarded them, and in the end overcame them, and brought the goods to Palermo, whence they came, and amongst other things that they had, was this villain my servant, a boy at that time, I think not past five years old.
Cleander Alas, I lost one of that same age there.
Philogano And I being there, and liking the child’s favour well, proffered them four and twenty ducates for him, and had him.
Cleander What? Was the child a Turk? Or had the Turks brought him from Otranto?
Philogano They said he was a childe of Otranto, but what is that to the matter? Once 24 ducates he cost me, that I wot well.
Cleander Alas, I speak it not for that sir, I would it were he whom I mean.
Philogano Why, whom mean you sir?
Litio Beware sir, be not to lavish.
Cleander Was his name Dulipo then? Or had he not another name?
Litio Beware what you say sir.
Philogano What the devil hast thou to do? Dulipo? No sir, his name was Carino.
Litio Yea, well said, tell all and more to, do.
Cleander O Lord, if it be as I think, how happy were I? And why did you change his name then?
Philogano We called him Dulipo, because when he cried as chrildren do sometimes, he would always cry on that name Dulipo.
Cleander Well, then I see well it is my own only child, whome I lost, when I lost my country: he was named Carino after his grandfather, and this Dulipo whom he always remembered in his lamenting, was his foster father that nourished him and brought him up.
Litio Sir, have I not told you enough of the falshood of Ferrara? This gentleman will not only pick your purse, but beguile you of your servant also, and make you believe he is his son.
Cleander Well goodfellow, I have not used to lie.
Litio Sir no, but everything hath a beginning.
Cleander Fie, Philogano, have you not the least suspect that may be of me.
Litio No Mary, but it were good he had the most suspect that may be.
Cleander Well, hold thou thy peace a little, good follow. I pray you tell me, Philogano: had the child any remembrance of his father’s name, his mother’s name, or the name of his family?
Philogano He did remember them, and could name his mother also, but sure I have forgotten the name.
Litio I remember it well enough.
Philogano Tell it then.
Litio Nay, that I will not, Mary, you have told him too much already.
Philogano Tell it I say, if thou can.
Litio Can? Ye,s by the mass, I can well enough: but I will have my tongue pulled out, rather than tell it, unless he tell it first: do you not perceive sir, what he goeth about?
Cleander Well, I will tell you then, my name you know already: my wife, his mother’s name was Sophronia, the house that I came of, they call Spiagia.
Litio I never heard him speake of Spiagia but indeed I have heard him say his mother’s name was Sophronia: but what of that? A great matter I promise you. It is like enough that you two have compacted together to deceive my master.
Cleander What needeth me more evident tokens? this is my son out of doubt whom I lost eighteen years since, and a thousand thousand times have I lamented for him: he should have also a mould on his left shoulder.
Litio He hath a mould there indeed: and an hole in an other place to, I would your nose were in it.
Cleander Fair words, fellow Litio: oh I pray you let us go talk with him. Oh fortune, how much am I bound to thee if I find my son?
Philogano Yea, how little am I beholden to fortune, that know not where my son is become, and you whom I chose to be my advocate, will now (by the means of this Dulipo) become my adversary?
Cleander Sir, let us first go find mine: and I warrant you yours will be found also ere it be long.
Philogano God grant: go we then.
Cleander Since the door is open, I will never knock nor call, but we will be bold to go in.
Litio Sir, take you heed, least he lead you to some mischief.
Philogano Alas Litio, if my son be lost what care I what become of me?
Litio Well, I have told you my mind, sir. Do you as you please.
Exeunt: Damon and Psiteria come in.
Scœna vi.
Damon. Psiteria.
Come hither you old kallat, you tattling housewife, that the devil cut out your tongue: tell me, how could Pasiphilo know of this gear but by you?
Psiteria Sir, he never knew it of me, he was the first that told me of it.
Dalio Thou liest, old drab, but I would advise you tell me the truth, or I will make those old bones rattle in your skin.
Psiteria Sir, if you find me contrary, kill me.
Dalio Why? where should he talk with thee?
Psiteria He talked with me of it here in the street.
Dalio What did you here?
Psiteria I was going to the weaver’s for a web of cloth you have there.
Dalio And what cause could Pasiphilo have to talk of it, unless thou began the matter first?
Psiteria Nay, he began with me sir, reviling me, because I had told you of it: I asked him how he knew of it, and he said he was in the stable when you examined me ere while.
Dalio Alas, alas, what shall I do then? In at doors, old whore, I will pluck that tongue of thine out by the roots one day. Alas, it grieveth me more that Pasiphilo knoweth it, than all the rest. He that will have a thing kept secret, let him tell it to Pasiphilo: the people shall know it, and as many as have ears and no more. By this time he hath told it in a hundreth places. Cleander was the first, Erostrato the second, and so from one to another throughout the city. Alas, what dower, what marriage shall I now prepare for my daughter? O poor dolorous Damon, more miserable than misery itself, would God it were true that Polynesta told me ere while: that he who hath deflowered her, is of no servile estate, (as hitherto he hath been supposed in my service) but that he is a gentleman born of a good parentage in Sicilia. Alas, small riches should content me, if he be but of an honest family: but I fear that he hath devised these toys to allure my daughter’s love. Well, I wil go examine her again, my mind giveth me that I shall perceive by her tale whether it be true or not. But is not this Pasiphilo that cometh out of my neighbour’s house? What the devil aileth him to leap and laugh so like a fool in the high way?
Pasiphilo cometh out of the town laughing.
Scœna vii.
Philogano. Damon.
O God, that I might find Damon at home.
Dalio What the devil would he with me?
Pasiphilo That I may be the first that shall bring him these news.
Dalio What will he tell me, in the name of God?
Pasiphilo O Lord, how happy am I? look where he is.
Dalio What newes Pasiphilo, that thou art so merry?
Pasiphilo Sir, I am merry to make you glad: I bring you joyful news.
Dalio And that I have need of, Pasiphilo.
Pasiphilo I know sir, that you are a sorrowful man for this mishap that hath chanced in your house, peradventure you thought I had not known of it. But let it pass, pluck up your sprits, and rejoyce: for he that hath done you this injury is so well borne, and hath so rich parents, that you may be glad to make him your son-in-law.
Dalio How knowest thou?
Pasiphilo His father Philogano, one of the worthiest men in all Catania, is now come to the city, and is here in your neighbour’s house.
Dalio What, in Erostrato’s house?
Pasiphilo Nay, in Dulipo’s house: for where you have always supposed this gentleman to be Erostrato, it is not so, but your servant whom you have emprisoned hitherto, supposed to be Dulipo, he is indeed Erostrato: and that other is Dulipo. And thus they have always, even since their first arrival in this city, exchanged names, to the end that Erostrato the master, under the name of Dulipo a servant, might be entertained in your house, and so win the love of your daughter.
Dalio Well, then I perceive it is even as Polynesta told me.
Pasiphilo Why, did she tell you so?
Dalio Yea, but I thought it but a tale.
Pasiphilo Well, it is a true tale: and here they will be with you by and by: both Philogano this worthy man, and master doctor Cleander.
Dalio Cleander? What to do?
Pasiphilo Cleander? Why thereby lies another tale, the most fortunate adventure that ever you heard: wot you what? this other Dulipo, whom all this while we supposed to be Erostrato, is found to be the son of Cleander, whom he lost at the loss of Otranto, and was after sold in Sicilia too this Philogano, the strangest case that ever you heard: a man might make a comedy of it. They will come even straight, and tell you the whole circumstance of it themselves.
Dalio Nay, I will first go hear the storiy of this Dulipo, be it Dulipo or Erostrato that I have here within, before I speak with Philogano.
Pasiphilo So shall you do well sir, I will go tell them that they may stay a while, but look where they come.
Damon goeth in, Senese, Cleander and Philogano come upon the stage.
Scœna viii.
Senese. Cleander. Philogano.
Sir, you shall not need to excuse the matter any further, since I have received no greater injury than by words, let them pass like wind, I take them well in worth, and am rather well pleased than offended: for it shall both be a good warning to me another time how to trust every man at the first sight, yea, and I shall have good game here after to tell this pleasant story another day in my owne country.
Cleander Gentleman, you have reason: and be you sure, that as many as hear it, will take great pleasure in it. And you Philogano may think, that God in heaven above, hath ordained your coming hither at this present to the end I might recover my lost son, whom by no other means I could ever have found out.
Philogano Surely sir I think no less, for I think that not so much as a leaf falleth from the tree, without the ordinance of God. But let us go seek Damon, for me thinketh every day a year, every hour a day, and every minute too much till I see my Erostrato.
Cleander I cannot blame you, go we then. Carino take you that gentleman home in the meantime, the fewer the better to be present at such affairs.
Pasiphilo stayeth their going in.
Scœna ix.
Philogano. Cleander.
Master doctor, will you not show me this favour, to tell me the cause of your displeasure?
Cleander Gentle Pasiphilo, I must needs confess I have done thee wrong, and that I believed tales of thee, which indeed I find now contrary.
Pasiphilo I am glad then that it proceed rather of ignorance than of malice.
Cleander Yea, believe me, Pasiphilo.
Pasiphilo O sir, but yet you should not have given me such foul words.
Cleander Well, content thyself Pasiphilo, I am thy friend as I have always been: for proof whereof, come sup with me tonight, and from day to day this seven night be thou my guest. But behold, here cometh Damon out of his house.
Here they come all together.
Scœna x.
Cleander. Philogano. Damon. Erostrato. Pasiphilo. Polinesta. Nevola, and other servants.
We are come unto you sir, to turn you sorrow into joy and gladness: the sorrow, we mean, that of force you have sustained since this mishap of late fallen in your house. But be you of good comfort sir, and assure yourself, that this young man which youthfully and not maliciously hath committed this amorous offence, is very well able (with consent of this worthy man his father) to make you sufficient amends: being born in Catania of Sicilia, of a noble house, no way inferior unto you, and of wealth (by the report of such as know it) far exceeding that of yours.
Philogano And I here in proper person, do present unto you sir, not only my assured friendship and brotherhood, but do earnestly desire you to accept my poor child (though unworthy) as your son-in-law: and for recompence of the injury he hath done you, I proffer my whole lands in dower to your daughter: yea, and more would, if more I might.
Cleander And I sir, who have hitherto so earnestly desired your daughter in marriage, do now willingly yield up and quite claim to this young man, who both for his years and for the love he beareth her, is most meetest to be her husband. For where I was desirous of a wife by whom I might have issue, to leave that little which God hath sent me: now have I little need, that (thanks be to God) have found my dearly beloved son, whom I lost of a child at the siege of Otranto.
Dalio Worthy gentleman, your friendship, your alliance, and the nobility of your birth are such, as I have much more cause to desire them of you than you to request of me that which is already granted. Therfore I gladly and willingly receive the same, and think myself most happy now of all my life past, that I have gotten so toward a son-in-law to myself, and so worthy a father-in-law to my daughter: yea, and much the greater is my contentation, since this worthy gentleman master Cleander, doth hold himself satisfied. And now behold your son.
Erostrato O father.
Pasiphilo Behold the natural love of the child to the father: for inward joye he cannot pronounce one word, instead whereof he sendeth sobs and tears to tell the effect of his inward invention. But why do you abide here abroad? Will it please you to go into the house sir?
Dalio Pasiphilo hath said well: will it please you to go in sir?
Nevola Here I have brought you sir, both fetters and bolts.
Dalio Away with them now.
Nevola Yea, but what shall I do with them?
Dalio Mary, I will tell thee Neuola: to make a right end of our supposes, lay one of those bolts in the fire, and make thee a suppository as long as my arme, God save the sample. Nobles and gentlemen, if you suppose that our supposes have given you sufficient cause of delight, show some token, whereby we may suppose you are content.
Et plauserunt.