Supposes

Document TypeModernised
CodeGas.0004
BooksellerRichard Smith
PrinterHenry Bynneman
Typeprint
Year1575
PlaceLondon
Other editions:
  • semi-diplomatic
  • diplomatic

The
Poesies of George
Gascoigne Esquire.
Corrected,
perfected, and
augmented by the Author. 1575.

Tam
Marti, quam Mercurio.

Imprinted

at London by H. Bynneman for Richard Smith.

These
Books are to be sold at the Northwest door of Paul’s Church.


HERBS.

Epigraph:

Tam
Marti quam Mercurio.

In
this division are contained:

The
Comedy called Supposes. Folio.
1.

The
Tragedy called Iocasta. Fol.
73

The
fruit of Reconciliation. 129

The
force of true Friendship. 131

The
force of Love in Strangers. 132

The
praise of brown beauty. 134

The
Partridge and the Merlin. 135

The
vertue of Ver. 136

The
complaint of a Dame in absence. 138

The
praise of a Countesse.
139

The
affection of a lover. 140

The
complaint of a Dame suspected. 141

A
Riddle. 143

The
shield of Love. 144

The
gloze upon Dominus
ijs opus habet. 145

Gascoigne’s
counsel to Dive. Fol.
148

Gascoigne’s
counsel to Wythipole. 151

Gascoigne’s
woodmanship. Fol. 156

Gascoigne’s
gardenings. 160

Gascoigne’s
journey into Holland. 163



SUPPOSES:
A Comedy written in the Italian tongue by Ariosto, Englished by
George Gascoigne of Grays Inn Esquire, and there presented. 1566.

The
names of the Actors.

Balia, the
Nurse.

Polynesta, the
young woman.

Cleander, the
Doctor, suitor to Polynesta.

Pasiphilo, the
Parasite.

Carion, the
Doctor’s man.

Dulipo, fained
servant and lover of Polynesta.

Erostrato, fained
master and suitor to Polynesta.

Dalio
& Crapyno servants
to fained Erostrato.

Scenaese, a
gentleman stranger.

Paquetto
& Petrucio his
servants.

Damon, father
to Polynesta.

Nevola, and
two other his servants.

Psyteria, an
old hag in his house.

Phylogano, a Sicilian gentleman,
father to Erostrato.

Lytio, his
servant.

Ferrarese, an
Innkeeper of Ferrara.


The
Comedie presented as it were in Ferrara.


The
Prologue or argument.

I Suppose
you are assembled here, supposing to reap the fruit of my travails:
and to be plain, I mean presently to present you with a Comedy called
Supposes:
the very name wherof may peradventure drive into every of your heads
a sundry Suppose, to suppose, the meaning of our supposes. Some
percase will suppose we mean to occupy your ears with sophistical
handling of subtil Suppositions. Some other wil suppose we go about
to decipher unto you some quaint concepts, which hitherto have been
only supposed as it were in shadowes: and some I see smiling as
though they supposed we would trouble you with the vain suppose of
some wanton Suppose. But understand, this our Suppose is nothing else
but a mistaking or imagination of one thing for another. For you
shall see the master supposed for the servant, the servant for the
master: the freeman for a slave, and the bondslave for a freeman: the
stranger for a well-known friend, and the familiar for a stranger.
But what? I suppose that even already you suppose me very fond, that
have so simply disclosed unto you the subtleties of these our
Supposes: where otherwise indeed I suppose you shoulde have heard
almost the last of our Supposes, before you could have supposed any
of them aright. Let this then suffice.



Supposes


[1]


[1]


Balia,

the Nurse. Polynesta, the yong woman.

BALIA

Here
is nobody, come forth Polynesta, let
us look about, to be sure least any man hear our talk: for I think
within the house the tables, the planks, the beds, the portals, yea
and the cupboards themselves have ears.


POLYNESTA

You

might as well have said, the windows and the doors: do you not see
how they harken?

BALIA

Well
you jest fair, but I would advise you take heed, I have bidden you a
thousand times beware: you will be spied one day talking with Dulipo.


POLYNESTA

And
why should I not talk with Dulipo, as
well as with any other, I pray you?


BALIA

I
have given you a wherefor for this why many times: but go too, follow
your own advice till you overwhelm us all with sudden mishap.


POLYNESTA

A
great mishap I promise you: Mary God’s blessing on their heart that
set such a brooch on my cap.


BALIA

Well,
look well about you: a man would think it were enough for you
secretly to rejoice, that by my help you have passed so many pleasant
nights together: and yet by my truth I do it more than half against
my will, for I would rather you had settled your fancy in some noble
family yea and it is no small grief unto me, that (rejecting the
suits of so many nobles and gentlemen) you have chosen for your
darling a poor servaunt of your fathers, by whom shame and infamy is
the best dower you can look for to attain.


POLYNESTA

And
I pray you: whom may I thank but gentle nurse? That continually
praising him, what for his personage, his courtesy, and above all,
the extreme passions of his mind, in fine you would never cease till
I accepted him, delighted in him, and at length desired him with no
less affection, than he erst desired me.


BALIA

I
cannot deny, but at the beginning I did recommend him unto you (as
indeed I may say that for myself I have a pityful heart) seeing the
depth of his unbridled affection, and that continually he never
ceased to fill my ears with lamentable complaints.


POLYNESTA

Nay,
rather that he filled your purse with bribes and rewards, Nurse.


BALIA

Well,
you may judge of Nurse as you list. Indeed I have thought it always a
deede of charity to help the miserable young men, whose tender youth
consumeth with the furious flames of love. But be you sure if I had
thought you would have passed to the terms you now stand in, pity nor
pension, penny nor pater noster should ever have made Nurse once to
open her mouth in the cause.


POLYNESTA

No,
of honesty, I pray you, who first brought him into my chamber? Who
first taught him the way to my bed but you? Fie, Nurse, fie, never
speak of it for shame, you will make me tell a wise tale anon.

BALIA

And
have I these thanks for my good will? Why then I see well I shall be
counted the cause of all mishap.


POLYNESTA

Nay,
rather the author of my good hap (gentle Nurse) for I would thou
knewest I love not Dulipo, nor
any of so mean estate, but have bestowed my love more worthily than
thou deemest: but I will say no more at this time.


BALIA

Then
I am glad you have changed your mind yet.


POLYNESTA

Nay,
I neither have changed, nor will change it.


BALIA

Then
I understande you not, how said you?


POLYNESTA

Mary,
I say that I love not Dulipo, nor
any such as he, and yet I neither have changed nor will change my
mind.


BALIA

I
cannot tell, you love to lie with Dulipo very well. This
gear is Greek to me: either it hangs not well together, or I am very
dull of understanding. Speak plain, I pray you.


POLYNESTA

I
can speak no plainer, I have sworn to the contrary.


BALIA

How?
Make you so dainty to tell it Nurse, least she should reveal it? You
have trusted me as far as may be, (I may show to you) in things that
touch your honor if they were known: and make you strange to tell me
this? I am sure it is but a trifle in comparison of those things
wherof heretofore you have made me privy.


POLYNESTA

Well,
it is of greater importance than you think, Nurse: yet would I tell
it you under condition and promise that you shall not tell it again,
nor give any sign or token to be suspected that you know it.


BALIA

I
promise you of my honesty, say on.


POLYNESTA

Well,
hear you me then: this young man whom you have always taken
for Dulipo, is
a noble born Sicilian,
his right name Erostrato, son
to Philogano, one of the worthiest men in that country.


BALIA

How Erostrato? Is
it not our neighbour, which?


POLYNESTA

Hold
thy talking, Nurse, and harken to me, that I may explain the whole
case unto thee. The man whom to this day you have supposed to
be Dulipo, is (as I say) Erostrato, a gentleman that
came from Sicilia to study in this City, and even at his
first arrival met me in the street, fell enamoured of me, and of such
vehement force were the passions he suffered, that immediately he
cast aside both long gown and books, and determined on me only to
apply his study. And to the end he might the more commodiously both
see me and talk with me, he exchanged both name, habit, clothes and
credit with his seruant Dulipo (whom only he brought with
him out of Sicilia) and so with the turning of a hand,
of Erostrato a gentleman, he became Dulipo, a
serving man, and soon after sought service of my father, and obtained
it.


BALIA

Are
you sure of this?


POLYNESTA

Yea,
out of doubt: on the other side Dulipo took upon him the
name of Erostrato his master, the habit, the credit, books,
and all things needful to a student, and in short space profited very
much, and is now esteemed as you see.


BALIA

Are
there no other Sicilians here: nor none that pass this way,
which may discover them?


POLYNESTA

Very
few that pass this way, and few or none that tarry here any time.


BALIA

This
hath been a strange adventure: but I pray you, how hang these things
together? That the student whom you say to be the servant, and not
the master, is become an earnest suitor to you, and requireth you of
your father in marriage?


POLYNESTA

That
is a policy devised between them, to put Doctor Dotipole out of
conceit: the old dotard, he that so instantly doth lie upon my father
for me. But look where he comes, as God help me it is he, out upon
him, what a lusky yonker is this? Yet I had rather be a Noon a
thousand times, than be combred with such a coistrel.


BALIA

Daughter,
you have reason, but let us go in before he come any nearer.


Polynesta
goeth in, and Balya stayeth a little while after, speaking a worde or
two to the doctor, and then departeth.



[2]

Cleander,

Doctor. Pasiphilo, Parasite. Balia, Nurse.

CLEANDER

Were

these dames here, or did my eyes dazzle?

PASIPHILO

Nay,

sir. Here were Polynesta and her nurse.

CLEANDER

Was

my Polynesta here? Alas, I knew her not.

BALIA

He
must have better eyesight that should marry your Polynesta, or
else he may chance to oversee the best point in his tables sometimes.


PASIPHILO

Sir,
it is no marvel, the air is very misty today: I myselfe knew her
better by her apparel than by her face.


CLEANDER

In
good faith and I thank God I have my eyesight good and perfit, little
worse than when I was but twenty years old.


PASIPHILO

How

can it be otherwise? you are but young.

CLEANDER

I

am fifty years old.

PASIPHILO

He

tells ten less than he is.

CLEANDER

What

sayst thou of ten less?

PASIPHILO

I
say I would have thought you ten less, you look like one of six and
thirty, or seven and thirty at the most.


CLEANDER

I

am no less than I tell.

PASIPHILO

You

are like enough to live fifty more: show me your hand.

CLEANDER

Why

is Pasiphilo a Chiromancer?

PASIPHILO

What

is not Pasiphilo? I pray you show me it a little.

CLEANDER

Here

it is.

PASIPHILO

O

how straight and infract is this line of life? You will live to the
years of Melchisedech.

CLEANDER

Thou

wouldest say, Mathusalem.

PASIPHILO

Why

is it not all one?

CLEANDER

I

perceive you are no very good Bibler, Pasiphilo.

PASIPHILO

Yes,
sir, an excellent good Bibler, specially in a bottle: oh what a mount
of Venus here is? But this light serveth not very well, I will behold
it another day, when the air is clearer, and tell you somewhat,
peradventure to your contentation.


CLEANDER

You
shall do me great pleasure: but tell me, I pray thee Pasiphilo, whome
dost thou thinke Polynesta liketh better, Erostrato or me?


PASIPHILO

Why?
You out of doubt: she is a gentlewoman of a noble mind, and maketh
greater accompt of the reputation she shall have in marrying your
worship, than that poor scholar, whose birth and parentage God
knoweth, and very few else.


CLEANDER

Yet

he taketh it upon him bravely in this country.

PASIPHILO

Yea,
where no man knoweth the contrary: but let him brave it, bost his
birth, and do what he can, the virtue and knowledge that is within
this body of yours, is worth more than all the country he came from.


CLEANDER

It
becometh not a man to praise himselfe: but indeed I may say (and say
truely) that my knowledge hath stood me in better stead at a pinch,
than could all the goods in the world. I came out of Otranto when
the Turks won it, and first I came to Padua, after
hither, whereby reading, counseling, and pleading, within twenty
years. I have gathered and gained as good as ten thousand Ducats.


PASIPHILO

Yea,
Mary, this is the right knowledge: Philosophy, Poetry, Logic, and all
the rest, are but pickling sciences in comparison to this.


CLEANDER

But
pickling indeed, whereof we have a verse: 

The
trade of Love doth fill the boisterous bags,

They
swim in silk, when others royst in rags.

PASIPHILO

O

excellent verse, who made it? Virgil?

CLEANDER

Virgil? Tush,

it is written in one of our gloses.

PASIPHILO

Sure
who soever wrote it, the moral is excellent, and worthy to be written
in letters of gold. But to the purpose: I think you shall never
recover the wealth that you lost at Otranto.


CLEANDER

I
think I have doubled it, or rather made it four times as much: but
indeed, I lost my only son there, a child of five years old.


PASIPHILO

O

great pity.

CLEANDER

Yea,

I had rather have lost al the goods in the world.

PASIPHILO

Alas,

alas: by God and grafts of such a stock are very geason in these
days.

CLEANDER

I

know not whether he were slain, or the Turks took him and kept him as
a bond slave.

PASIPHILO

Alas,
I could weep for compassion, but there is no remedy but patience, you
shall get many by this young damsel with the grace of God.


CLEANDER

Yea,

if I get her.

PASIPHILO

Get

her? Why doubt you of that?

CLEANDER

Why?

Her father holds me off with delays, so that I must needs doubt.

PASIPHILO

Content
yourself, sir, he is a wise man, and desirous to place his daughter
well: he will not be too rash in his determination, he will think
well of the matter: and let him think, for the longer he thinketh,
the more good of you shall he think: whose wealth? Whose virtue?
Whose skill? or whose estimation can he compare to yours in this
City?


CLEANDER

And

hast thou not told him that I would make his Daughter a dower of two
thousand ducats?

PASIPHILO

Why,

even now, I came but from thence since.

CLEANDER

What

said he?

PASIPHILO

Nothing,

but that Erostrato had proferred the like.

CLEANDER

Erostrato? How

can he make any dower, and his father yet alive?

PASIPHILO

Think
you I did not tell him so? Yes I warrant you, I forgot nothing that
may further your cause: and doubt you not, Erostrato shall
never have her unless it be in a dream.

CLEANDER

Well,
gentle Pasiphilo, go thy ways and tell Damon I
require nothing but his daughter. I will none of his goods: I shall
enrich her of mine own: and if this dower of two thousand ducats
seems not sufficient, I will make it five hundred more, yea a
thousand, or what so ever he will demaund rather than fail: go
to Pasiphilo, show thyselfe friendly in working this feat
for me: spare for no cost, since I have gone thus far, I will be
loath to be out bidden. Go.


PASIPHILO

Where

shall I come to you again?

CLEANDER

At

my house.

PASIPHILO

When?


CLEANDER

When

thou wilt.

PASIPHILO

Shall

I come at dinner time?

CLEANDER

I

would bid thee to dinner, but it is a Saincts’ even which I have
ever fasted.

PASIPHILO

Faste

till thou famish.

CLEANDER

Hark.


PASIPHILO

He

speaketh of a dead man’s fast.

CLEANDER

Thou

hearest me not.

PASIPHILO

Nor

thou understandest me not.

CLEANDER

I
dare say thou art angry I bid thee not to dinner: but come if thou
wilt, thou shalt take such as thou findest.


PASIPHILO

What?

Think you I know not where to dine?

CLEANDER

Yes Pasiphilo thou

art not to seeke.

PASIPHILO

No,

be you sure, there are enow will pray me.

CLEANDER

That
I know well enough Pasiphilo, but thou canst not be better
welcome in any place than to me, I will tarry for thee.


PASIPHILO

Well,

since you will needes, I will come.

CLEANDER

Dispatch

then, and bring no news but good.

PASIPHILO

Better

than my reward by the rood.


Cleander

exit, Pasiphilo restat.



[3]

Pasiphilo.

Dulipo.


PASIPHILO

O Miserable
covetous wretch, he findeth an excuse by S. Nicolas fast, because I
should not dine with him, as though I should dine at his own dish: he
maketh goodly feasts I promise you, it is no wonder though he think
me bound unto him for my fare: for over and besides that his
provision is as scant as may be, yet there is great difference
between his diet and mine. I never so much as sip of the wine that he
tasteth, I feed at the borde’s end with brown bread: Mary, I reach
always to his own dish, for there are no more but that only on the
table. Yet he thinks that for one such dinner I am bound to do him
all the service that I can, and think me sufficiently rewarded for
all my travel, with one such festiual promotion. And yet peradventure
some men think I have great gains under him: but I may say and swear,
that this dozen years I have not gained so much in value as the
points at my hose (which are but three with codpiece point and all):
he thinks that I may feede upon his favour and fair words: but if I
could not otherwise provide for one, Pasiphilo were in a
wise case. Pasiphilo hath no pastures to pass in than one,
I warrant you: I am of houshold with this scholar Erostrato, (his
rivale) as well as with Domine
Cleander: now
with the one, and then with the other, according as I see their
caters provide good cheer at the market: and I find the means so to
handle the matter, that I am welcome to both. If the one sees me talk
with the other, I make him believe it is to harken news in the
furtherance of his cause: and thus I become a broker on both sides.
Well, let them both apply the matter as well as they can, for indeed
I will travel for none of them both: yet will I seem to work wonders
on each hand. But is not this one of Damon’s servants
that commeth forth? It is: of him I shall understand where his master
is. Whither goeth this jolly gallant?


DULIPO

I
come to seek somebody that may accompany my master at dinner: he is
alone, and would faine have good company.


PASIPHILO

Seeke

no further, you could neuer have found one better than me.

DULIPO

I

have no commission to bring so many.

PASIPHILO

How

many? I will come alone.


DULIPO

How

canst thou come alone, that hast continually a legion of ravening
wolves within thee?

PASIPHILO

Thou

dost (as servants commonly do) hate all that love to visit their
masters.

DULIPO

And

why?

PASIPHILO

Because

they have too many teeth as you think.

DULIPO

Nay,

because they have too many tongues.

PASIPHILO

Tongues?

I pray you what did my tongue ever hurt you?

DULIPO

I

speak but merrily with you Pasiphilo. Go in, my master is
ready to dine.

PASIPHILO

What?

Dineth he so earely?

DULIPO

He

that riseth early, dineth early.

PASIPHILO

I
would I were his man, master doctor never dineth till noon, and how
delicately then God knoweth. I will be bold to go in, for I count
myself bidden.


DULIPO

You

were best so.


Pasiphilo

intrat. Dulipo restat.


Hard
hap had I when I first began this unfortunate enterprise: for I
supposed the readiest medicine to my miserable affects had been to
change name, clothes, and credit with my servant, and to place myself
in Damon’s service: thinking that as shivering cold by
glowing fire, thirst by drink, hunger by pleasant repasts, and a
thousand such like passions find remedy by their contraries, so my
rest less desire might have found quiet by continual contemplation.
But alas, I find that only love is unsaciable: for as the fly playeth
with the flame till at last she is cause of her own decay, so the
lover that thinketh with kissing and colling to content his
unbrideled appetite is commonly seen the only cause of his own
consumption. Two years are now past since (under the colour
of Damon’s service) I have been a sworn servant
to Cupid: of whom I have received as much favour and grace
as ever man found in his service. I have free liberty at all times to
behold my desired, to talk with her, to embrace her, yea (be it
spoken in secret) to lie with her. I reap the fruits of my desire:
yet as my joyes abound, even so my pains increase. I fare like the
covetous man, that having all the world at will, is never yet
content: the more I have, the more I desire. Alas, what wretched
estate have I brought myself unto, if in the end of all my
farfetches, she be given by her father to this old doting doctor,
this buzzard, this bribing villain, that by so many means seeketh to
obtain her at her fathers hands? I know she loveth me best of all
others, but what may that prevail when perforce she shall be
constrained to marry another? Alas, the pleasant taste of my sugared
joyes doth yet remain so perfect in my remembrance, that the least
sop of sorrow seemeth more sour than gall in my mouth. If I had never
known delight, with better contentation might I have passed these
dreadful dolors. And if this old Mumpsimus (whom the pocks
consume) should win her, then may I say, farewell the pleasant talk,
the kind embracings, yea farewell the sight of my Polynesta, for
he like a jealous wretch will pen her up, that I think the birds of
the air shall not win the sight of her. I hoped to have cast a block
in his way, by the means that my servant (who is supposed to
be Erostrato, and
with my habit and credit is wel esteemed) should proffer himself a
suitor, at the least to countervail the doctor’s proffers. But my
master knowing the wealth of the one, and doubting the state of the
other, is determined to be fed no longer with fair words, but to
accept the doctor (whom he right well knoweth) for his son in law.
Well, my servant promised me yesterday to devise yet again some new
conspiracy to drive master doctor out of conceit, and to lay a snare
that the fox himself might be caught in: what it is, I know not, nor
I saw him not since he went about it: I will go see if he be within,
that at least if he help me not, he may yet prolong my life for this
once. But here commeth his lackey: ho Jack pack, where is Erostrato?


Here
must Crapine be coming in with a basket and a stick in his hand.


[4]

Crapino

the Lackey. Dulipo.


CRAPINO

Erostrato? Mary,

he is in his skin!

DULIPO

Ah

horeson boy, I say, how shall I find Erostrato?

CRAPINO

Find

him? How mean you, by the weeke or by the year?

DULIPO

You

crack halter, if I catch you by the ears, I shall make you answer me
directly.

CRAPINO

Indeed?


DULIPO

Tarry

me a little.

CRAPINO

In

faith sir, I have no leisure.

DULIPO

Shall

we try who can run fastest?

CRAPINO

Your

legs be longer than mine, you should have given me the advantage.

DULIPO

Go

to, tell me where is Erostrato?

CRAPINO

I
left him in the street, where he gave me this casket, (this basket I
would have said) and had me bear it to Dalio, and return to
him at the Duke’s Palace.


DULIPO

If
thou see him, tell him I must needs speak with him immediately: or
abide awhile, I will go seek him myself, rather than he suspected by
going to his house.


Crapino

departeth, and Dulipo also: after Dulipo commeth in again seeking
Erostrato.



[2]


[1]


Dulipo.

Erostrato.


DULIPO

I think
if I had as many eyes as Argus, I could not have sought a
man more narrowly in every street and every by lane, there are not
many gentlemen, scholars, nor merchants in the city of Ferrara, but
I have met with them, except him: peradvuenture he is come home
another way: but look where he commeth at the last.


EROSTRATO

In

good time have I spied my good master.

DULIPO

For
the love of God call me Dulipo (not master), maintain the credit
that thou hast hitherto kept, and let me alone.


EROSTRATO

Yet

sir let me sometimes do my duty unto you, especially where nobody
heareth.

DULIPO

Yea,
but so long the Parat useth to cry knap in sport, that at the last
she calleth her master knave in earnest: so long you will use to call
me master, that at the last we shall be heard. What news?


EROSTRATO

Good.


DULIPO

Indeed?


EROSTRATO

Yea

excellent, we have as good as won the wager.

DULIPO

Oh,

how happy were I if this were true?

EROSTRATO

Hear
you me, yesterday night in the evening I walked out, and
found Pasiphilo, and with small entreating I had him home
to supper, where by such means as I used, he became my great friend,
and told me the whole order of our adversary’s determination: yea,
and what Damon doth intend to do also, and hath promised me
that from time to time, what he can espy he will bring me word of it.


DULIPO

I

cannot tell whether you know him or not, he is not to trust unto, a
very flattering and a lying knave.

EROSTRATO

I

know him very well, he cannot deceive me: and this that he hath told
me I know must needs be true.

DULIPO

And

what was it in effect?

EROSTRATO

That Damon had
purposed to give his daughter in marriage to this doctor, vpon the
dower that he hath proffered.

DULIPO

Are

these your good newes? Your excellent news?

EROSTRATO

Stay

a while, you will understand me before you hear me.

DULIPO

Well,
say on.


EROSTRATO

I

answered to that, I was ready to make her the like dower.

DULIPO

Well

said.

EROSTRATO

Abide,

you heard not the worst yet.

DULIPO

O

God, is there any worse behind?

EROSTRATO

Worse?
Why, what assurance could you suppose that I might make without some
special consent from Philogano my father?


DULIPO

Nay,
you can tell, you are better scholar than I.


EROSTRATO

Indeed

you have lost your time: for the books that you toss nowadays treat
of small science.

DULIPO

Leave

thy jesting, and proceede.

EROSTRATO

I
said further, that I received letters lately from my father, whereby
I understood that he would be here very shortly to perform all that I
had proffered: therefore I required him to request Damon on
my behalf, that he would stay his promise to the doctor for a
fortnight or more.


DULIPO

This
is somewhat yet, for by this means I shall be sure to linger and live
in hope one fortnight longer: but, at the forthnights end
when Philogano commeth not, how shall I then do? Yea, and
though he came, how may I anyway hope of his consent, when he shall
see, that to follow this amorous enterprise, I have set aside all
study, all remembrance of my duty, and all dread of shame. Alas,
alas, I may go hang myself.


EROSTRATO

Comfort
yourself, man, and trust in me: there is a slave for every sore, and
doubt you not, to this mischief we shall find a remedy.


DULIPO

O

friend, revive me, that hitherto since I first attempted this matter
have been continually dying.

EROSTRATO

Well,
harken a while then: this morning I took my horse and rode into the
fields to solace myself, and as I passed the ford beyond S.
Anthony’s gate, I met at the foot of the hill a gentleman
riding with two or three men: and as me thought by his habit and his
looks, he should be none of the wisest. He saluted me, and I him: I
asked him from whence he came, and whither he would? He answered that
he had come from Venice, then from Padua, now was going to Ferrara,
and so to his country, which is Siena. As soon as I knew
him to be a Senese, suddenly lifting up my eyes, (as it were with an
admiration) I said unto him: Are you a Senese, and come to Ferrara?
Why not, saide he: quoth I (half and more with a trembling voice)
know you the danger that should ensue if you be known in Ferrara to
be a Senese? He more than halfe amazed, desired me earnestly to tell
him what I meant.


DULIPO

I

understand not whereto this tendeth.

EROSTRATO

I

believe you: but harken to me.

DULIPO

Go

to, then.

EROSTRATO

I
answered him in this sort: Gentleman, because I have heretofore found
very courteous entertainment in your country, (being a student
there,) I accompt myself as it were bound to a Senese: and therefore
if I knew of any mishap towards any of that country, God forbid but I
should disclose it: and I marvel that you knew not of the injury that
your countrymen offered this other day to the ambassadors of
Count Hercules.


DULIPO

What

tales he telleth me: what appertain these to me?

EROSTRATO

If
you will harken a while, you shall find them no tales, but that they
appertain to you more than you think for.


DULIPO

Forth.


EROSTRATO

I
told him further, these ambassadors of Count Hercules had
diverse mules, wagons, and charettes, laden with diverse costly
jewels, gorgeous furniture, and other things which they carried as
presents, (passing that way) to the king of Naples: the which were
not only staid in Siene by the officers whom you call
customers, but searched, ransacked, tossed and turned, and in the end
exacted for tribute, as if they had been the goods of a mean
merchant.


DULIPO

Whither
the devil will he? Is it possible that this gear appertain anything
to my cause? I find neither head nor foot in it.


EROSTRATO

O

how impatient you are: I pray you stay a while.

DULIPO

Go

to yet a while, then.

EROSTRATO

I
proceeded, that upon these causes the Duke sent his chancellor to
declare the case unto the Senate there, of whom he had the most
uncourteous answer that ever was heard: wherupon he was so enraged
with all of that country, that for revenge he had sworn to spoil as
many of them as ever should come to Ferrara, and to send them home in
their doublet and their hose.


DULIPO

And

I pray thee how couldest thou upon the sudden devise or imagine such
a lie? And to what purpose?

EROSTRATO

You

shall hear by and by a thing as fit for our purpose, as any could
have happened.

DULIPO

I

would fain hear you conclude.

EROSTRATO

You
would fain leap over the stile, before you come at the edge: I would
you had heard me, and seen the gestures that I enforced to make him
believe this.


DULIPO

I

believe you, for I know you can counterfeit well.

EROSTRATO

Further
I said, the Duke had charged upon great penalties, that the
innholders and vittlers should bring word daily of as many Seneses as
came to their houses. The gentleman being (as I guessed at the first)
a man of small sapientia, when
he heard these news, would have turned his horse another way.


DULIPO

By
likelihood he was not very wise when he would believe that of his
country, which if it had been true every man must needs have known
it.


EROSTRATO

Why
not? When he had not been in his country for a month past, and I told
him this had happened within these seven days.


DULIPO

Belike

he was of small experience.


EROSTRATO

I
thinke, of as little as may be: but best of all for our purpose, and
good adventure it was, that I met with such a one. Now harken, I pray
you.


DULIPO

Make

an end, I pray thee.

EROSTRATO

He,
as I say, when he heard these words, would have turned the bridle:
and I faining a countenance as though I were somewhat pensieve and
careful for him, paused a while, and after with a great sigh said to
him: Gentleman, for the courtesie that (as I said) I have found in
your country, and because your affairs shall be the better
dispatched, I will find the means to lodge you in my house, and you
shall say to every man, that you are a Sicilian of Catania, your name
Philogano, father to me that am indeed of that country and city,
called here Erostrato. And I (to pleasure you) will (during your
abode here) do you reverence as you were my father.


DULIPO

Out

upon me, what a gross hedded fool am I? Now I perceive whereto this
tale tendeth.

EROSTRATO

Well,

and how like you of it?

DULIPO

Indifferently,

but one thing I doubt.

EROSTRATO

What

is that?

DULIPO

Mary,
that when he hath been here two or three dayes, he shall hear of
every man that there is no such thing between the Duke and the Town
of Siena.


EROSTRATO

As
for that let me alone, I do entertain and will entertain him so well,
that within these two or three days I will disclose unto him all the
whole matter, and doubt not but to bring him in for performance of as
much as I have promised to Damon: for what hurt can it be to him,
when he shall bind a strange name and not his own?


DULIPO

What,
think you he will be entreated to stand bound for a dower of two
thousand Ducates by the year?


EROSTRATO

Yea,

why not, (if it were ten thousand) as long as he is not indeed the
man that is bound?

DULIPO

Well,

if it be so, what shall we be the nearer to our purpose?

EROSTRATO

Why?

When we have done as much as we can, how can we do any more?

DULIPO

And

where have you left him?

EROSTRATO

At

the Inn, because of his horses: he and his men shall lie in my
house.

DULIPO

Why

brought you him not with you?

EROSTRATO

I

thought better to use your advise first.

DULIPO

Well,

go take him home, make him all the cheer you can, spare for no cost,
I will allow it.

EROSTRATO

Content,

look where he commeth.

DULIPO

Is
this he? Go meet him, by my troth he looks even like a good soul, he
that fisheth for him, might be sure to catch a cod’s head: I will
rest here a while to decipher him.


Erostrato

espieth the Senese and goeth towards him: Dulipo standeth aside.


[2]


The

Senese. Paquetto and Petrucio, his seruants. Erostrato.


SENESE

He

that travaileth in this world passeth by many perils.

PASIPHILO

You
say true sir, if the boat had been a little more laden this morning
at the ferry, we had been all drowned, for I think, there are none of
us that could have swum.


SENESE

I

speak not of that.

PASIPHILO

Oh,
you mean the foul way that we had since we came from this Padua, I
promise you, I was afraid twice or thrice, that your mule would have
lien fast in the mire.


SENESE

Jesus,

what a blockhead thou art! I speak of the peril we are in presently
since we came into this city.

PASIPHILO

A
great peril I promise you, that we were no sooner arrived, but you
found a friend that brought you from the Inn, and lodged you in his
own house.


SENESE

Yea,
Mary, God reward the gentle young man that we met, for else we had
been in a wise case by this time. But have done with these
tales, and take you heed, and you also sirra, take heed that none of
you say we be Seneses, and remember that you call me Philogano
of Catania.


PASIPHILO

Sure

I shall never remember these outlandish words, I could well remember
Haccanea.

SENESE

I

say, Catania, and not Haecanea, with a
vengeance.

PASIPHILO

Let

another name it then when neede is, for I shall never remember it.

SENESE

Then

hold thy peace, and take heed thou name not Siene.

PASIPHILO

How

say you, if I fain myselfe dum as I did once in the house
of Crisobolus?

SENESE

Do

as thou thinkest best: but look where commeth the gentleman whom we
are so much bound unto.

EROSTRATO

Welcome,

my dear father Philogano.

SENESE

Gramercy,

my good son Erostrato.

EROSTRATO

That

is well said, be mindful of your tong, for these Fereareses be
as crafty as the devil of hell.

SENESE

No,

no, be you sure we will do as you have bidden us.

EROSTRATO

For
if you should name Siene they would spoil you immediately,
and turn you out of the town, with more shame than I would should
befall you for a thousand crowns.


SENESE

I

warrant you, I was giving them warning as I came to you, and I doubt
not but they will take good heed.

EROSTRATO

Yea,
and trust not the servants of my houshold too far, for they are
Ferrareses all, and never knew my father, nor came neuer in Sicilia:
this is my house, will it please you to go in? I will follow.


They
go in. Dulipo tarrieth and espieth the Doctor coming in with his
man.


[3]


Dulipo

alone.


DULIPO

This
gear hath had no evil beginning, if it continues so and fall to happy
end. But is not this the silly doctor with the side bonet, the doting
fool, that dare presume to become a suitor to such a peerless
paragone? Oh, how covetousness doth blind the common sort of
men. Damon, more desirous of the dower than mindful of his
gentle and gallant daughter, hath determined to make him his son in
law, who for his age may be his father in law: and hath greater
respect to the abundance of goods, than to his own natural child. He
beareth well in mind to fill his own purse, but he little remembreth
that his daughter’s purse shall be continually empty, unless master
doctor fill it with double duck eggs. Alas: I jest and have no joy, I
will stand here aside and laugh a little at this lobcock.


Dulippo

espieth the Doctor and his man coming.


[4]


Carion,

the doctor’s man. Cleander. Dulipo.


CARION

Master,
what the devil mean you to go seek guests at this time of the day?
The mayor’s officers have dined ere this time, which are always the
last in the market.


CLEANDER

I

come to seek Pasiphilo, to the end he may dine with me.

CARION

As
though six mouths and the cat for the seventh, be not sufficient to
eat an harlotry shotterell, a pennyworth of cheese, and half a score
spurlings: this is all the dainties you have dressed for you and your
familie.


CLEANDER

Ah

greedie gut, art thou afeard thou shalt want?

CARION

I

am afeard indeed, it is not the first time I have found it so.

DULIPO

Shall

I make some sport with this gallant? What shall I say to him?

CLEANDER

Thou

art afeard belike that he will eat thee and the rest.

CARION

Nay,

rather that he will eat your mule, both hear and hide.

CLEANDER

Hear

and hide? And why not flesh and all?

CARION

Because

she hath none. If she had any flesh, I think you had eaten her
yourself by this time.

CLEANDER

She

may thank you then, for your good attendance.

CARION

Nay,

she may thank you for your small allowance.

DULIPO

In

faith now let me alone.

CLEANDER

Hold

thy peace, drunken knave, and espy me Pasiphilo.

DULIPO

Since
I can do no better, I will set such a staunce betweene him and
Pasiphilo, that all this town shall not make them friends.


CARION

Could
you not have sent to seek him, but you must come yourself? Surely you
come for some other purpose, for if you would have had Pasiphilo to
dinner, I warrant you he would have tarried here an hour since.


CLEANDER

Hold
thy peace, here is one of Damon’s servants, of him I
shall understand where he is: good fellow, art not thou one
of Damon’s servants?


DULIPO

Yes

sir, at your comandement.

CLEANDER

Gramercy,

tell me then, hath Pasiphilo been there this day or no?

DULIPO

Yes

sir, and I think he be there still, ah, ah, ah.

CLEANDER

What

laughest thou?

DULIPO

At

a thing, that every man may not laugh at.

CLEANDER

What?


DULIPO

Talk,

that Pasiphilo had with my master this day.

CLEANDER

What

talk I pray thee?

DULIPO

I

may not tell it.

CLEANDER

Doth

it concern me?

DULIPO

Nay,

I will say nothing.

CLEANDER

Tell

me.

DULIPO

I

can say no more.

CLEANDER

I

would but know if it concern me, I pray thee, tell me.

DULIPO

I

would tell you, if I were sure you would not tell it again.

CLEANDER

Believe

me, I will keep it close: Carion give us leave a little, go
aside.

DULIPO

If

my master should know that it came by me, I were better die a
thousand deaths.

CLEANDER

He

shall never know it, say on.

DULIPO

Yea,

but what assurance shall I have?

CLEANDER

I

lay thee my faith and honesty in pawn.

DULIPO

A

pretty pawn, the fulkers will not lend you a farthing on it.

CLEANDER

Yea,

but amongst honest men it is more worth than gold.

DULIPO

Yea,

Marie sir, but where be they? But will you needs have me tell it unto
you?

CLEANDER

Yea,

I pray thee if it anything appertain to me.

DULIPO

Yes,
it is of you, and I would gladly tell it you, because I would not
have such a man of worship so scorned by a villain ribald.


CLEANDER

I

pray thee, tell me then.

DULIPO

I

will tell you so that you will swear never to tell it to Pasiphilo,
to my master, nor to any other body.

CARION

Surely

it is some toy devised to get some money of him.

CLEANDER

I

think I have a book here.

CARION

If
he knew him as well as I, he would never go about it, for he may as
soon get one of his teeth from his jawes with a pair of pinchers, as
a penny out of his purse with such a conceit.


CLEANDER

Here
is a letter will serve the turn: I swear to thee by the contents
hereof never to disclose it to any man.

DULIPO

I
will tell you, I am sorry to see how Pasiphilo doth abuse you,
persuading you that always he laboureth for you, where indeed, he
lieth on my master continually, as it were with tooth and nail for a
stranger, a scholar, born in Sicilia they call
him Roscus or arskiss, he hathe a mad name I can never hit
upon it.


CLEANDER

And

thou recknest it as madly: is it not Erostrato?

DULIPO

That
same I should never have remembered it: and the villany speaketh al
the evil of you that can be devised.

CLEANDER

To

whom?

DULIPO

To

my master, yea, and to Polynesta herself sometimes.

CLEANDER

Is

it possible? Ah slave! And what saith he?

DULIPO

More

evil than I can imagine: that you are the miserablest and most
niggardly man that ever was.

CLEANDER

Sayeth Pasiphilo so

by me?

DULIPO

And

that as often as he commeth to your house, he is like to die for
hunger, you fare so well.

CLEANDER

That

the devil take him else.

DULIPO

And
that you are the testiest man, and mosta diverse to please in the
whole world, so that he cannot please you unless he should even kill
himself with continual pain.


CLEANDER

Oh

devilish tong.

DULIPO

Furthermore,

that you cough continually and spit, so that a dog cannot abide it.

CLEANDER

I
never spit nor cough more than thus, uho, uho, and that but since I
caught this murre, but who is free from it?


DULIPO

You
say true sir, yet further he saieth, your arm holes stink, your feete
worse than they, and your breathe worst of all.


CLEANDER

If

I quite him not for this gear.

DULIPO

And

that you are bursten in the cods.

CLEANDER

O

villain, he lieth, and if I were not in the street thou shouldest see
them.

DULIPO

And
he saith, that you desire this young gentle woman, as much for other
men’s pleasure as for your own.

CLEANDER

What

meaneth he by that?

DULIPO

Peradventure

that by her beauty, you would entice many young men to your house.

CLEANDER

Young

men? To what purpose?

DULIPO

Nay,

guess you that.

CLEANDER

Is

it possible that Pasiphilo speaketh thus of me?

DULIPO

Yea,

and much more.

CLEANDER

And

doth Damon believe him?

DULIPO

Yea,
more than you would think: in such sort, that long ere this, he
woulde have given you a flat repulse, but Pasiphilo entreated
him to continue you a suitor for his advantage.


CLEANDER

How

for his advantage?

DULIPO

Mary,

that during your suit he might still have some reward for his great
pains.

CLEANDER

He
shall have a rope, and yet that is more than he deserveth: I had
thought to have given him these hose when I had worn them a little
nearer, but he shall have a. etc.


DULIPO

In

good faith sir, they were but lost on him. Will you anything else
with me sir?

CLEANDER

Nay,

I have heard to much of thee already.

DULIPO

Then

I will take my leave of you.

CLEANDER

Farewell,

but tell me, may I not know thy name?

DULIPO

Sir,

they call me Foul fall you.

CLEANDER

An

ill favored name by my troth: art thou this country man?

DULIPO

No

sir, I was born by a castle men call Scabbe, catch you: fare you well
sir.

CLEANDER

Farewell.

Oh God, how have I been abused? What a spokesman? What a messenger
had I provided?

CARION

Why

sir, will you tarry for Pasiphilo till we die for hunger?

CLEANDER

Trouble

me not, that the devil take you both.

CARION

These

news whatsoever they be, like him not.

CLEANDER

Art

thou so hungry yet? I pray to God thou be never satisfied.

CARION

By

the mass no more I shall as long as I am your servant.

CLEANDER

Go

with mischance.

CARION

Yea,

and a mischief to you, and to all such covetous wretches.


[3]


[1]


Dalio,

the cook. Crapine, the lackey. Erostrato, Dulipo.


DALIO

By
that time we come to the house, I trust that of these 20 eggs in the
basket we shall find but very few whole. But it is a folly to talk to
him. What the devil, wilt thou never lay that stick out of thy hand?
He fighteth with the dogs, beateth the bears, at everything in the
street he findeth occasion to tarry: if he spies a slipstring by the
way such another as himself, a page, a lackey or a dwarf, the devil
of hell cannot hold him in chains, but he will be doing with him: I
cannot go two steps, but I must look back for my younker: go to
halter sick, if you break one egg I may chance breake, etc.


CRAPINO

What

will you breake? Your nose in mine etc.?

DALIO

Ah,

beast.

CRAPINO

If

I be a beast, yet I am no horned beast.

DALIO

Is
it even so? Is the wind in that door? If I were unloden I would tell
you whether I be a horned beast or no.

CRAPINO

You

are always laden either with wine or with ale.

DALIO

Ah,

spiteful boy, shall I suffer him?

CRAPINO

Ah,

cowardely beast, darest thou strike and say never a word?

DALIO

Well,

my master shall know of this gear, either he shall redress it, or he
shall lose one of us.

CRAPINO

Tell

him the worst thou canst by me.

EROSTRATO

What

noise, what a rule is this?

CRAPINO

Mary,

sir, he striketh me because I tell him of his swearing.

DALIO

The

villaine lieth deadly, he reuiles me bicause I bid him make hast.

EROSTRATO

Holla:
no more of this. Dalio, do you make in a readiness those
pigeons, stock doves, and also the breast of veal: and let your
vessel be as clear as glass against I return, that I may tell you
which I will have roasted, and which boiled. Crapine, say
down that basket and follow me. Oh that I could tell where to
find Pasiphilo, but look where he commeth that can tell me
of him.


DULIPO

What

have you done with Philogano, your father?

EROSTRATO

I

have left him within, I would fain speak with Pasiphilo, can
you tell me where he is?

DULIPO

He
dined this day with my master, but whether he went from thence I know
not, what would you with him?

EROSTRATO

I
would have him go tell Damon that Philogano my
father is come and ready to make assurance of as much as he will
require. Now shall I teach master doctor a school point, he
travaileth to none other end but to catch Cornua, and he
shall have them, for as old as he is, and as many subtleties as he
hath learned in the law, he cannot go beyond me one ace.


DULIPO

O

dear friend, go thy ways, seek Pasiphilo, find him out, and
conclude somewhat to our contentation.

EROSTRATO

But

where shall I find him?

DULIPO

At

the feasts if there be any, or else in the market with the poulters
or the fishmongers.


EROSTRATO

What

should he do with them?

DULIPO

Mary,
he watcheth whose caters buy the best meat. If any buys a fat capon,
a good breast of veal, fresh salmon or any such good dish, he
followeth to the house, and either with some news, or some stale jest
he will be sure to make himself a guest.


EROSTRATO

In

faith, and I will seeke there for him.

DULIPO

Then

must you needs find him, and when you have done I will make you
laugh.

EROSTRATO

Whereat?


DULIPO

At

certain sport I made today with master doctor.

EROSTRATO

And

why not now?

DULIPO

No,

it asketh further leisure, I pray thee dispatch, and find
out Pasiphilo, that honest man.

Dulipo

tarrieth. Erostrato goeth out.


[2]


Dulipo

alone.


DULIPO

This
amorous cause that hangeth in controversie between Domine
doctor and
me, may be compared to them that play at primero: of whom some one
peradventure shall leise a great sum of money before he wins one
stake, and at last half in anger shall set up his rest: win it: and
after that another, another, and another, till at last he draws the
most part of the money to his heap: the other by litle and litle
stil diminishing his rest, till at last he becomes as near the brink,
as earst the other was: yet again peradventure fortune smiling
on him, he shal as it were by piece meal, pull out the guts of his
fellow’s bags, and bring him barer than he himself was tofore, and
so in play continue stil, (fortune favoring now this way, now
that way) till at last the one of them is left with as many
crosses as God hath brethren. Oh how often have I thought myself sure
of the upper hand herein? But I triumphed before the victory. And
then how often again have I thought the field lost? Thus have I been
tossed now over, now under, even as fortune list to whirl the wheel,
neither sure to win nor certain to loose the wager. And this practise
that now my servant hath devised, although hitherto it hath not
succeeded amiss, yet can I not count myself assured of it: for I
feare still that one mischance or other will come and turn it
topsy-turvy. But look where my master commeth.


Damon

comming in, espieth Dulipo and calleth him.


[3]


Damon.

Dulipo. Nevola, and two more servants.


DAMON

Dulipo.


DULIPO

Here,

sir.

DALIO

Go
in and bid Neuola and his fellowes come hither that I may
tell them what they shall go about, and go you into my study:
thereupon the shelf you shall find a roll of writings which John of
the Dean made to my Father, when he sold him the Grange farm,
endorsed with both their names: bring it hither to me.


DULIPO

It

shall be done, sir.

DALIO

Go,
I will prepare other manner of writings for you than you are aware
of. O fools that trust any man but themselves nowadays: oh spiteful
fortune, thou dost me wrong I think, that from the depth of Hell pit
thou hast sent me this servant to be the subversion of me and all
mine. Come hither sirs, and hear what I shall say unto you: go
into my study, where you shall finde Dulipo, step to him
all at once, take him and (with a cord that I have laid on the table
for the nonce) bind him hand and foot, carry him into the dungeon
under the stairs, make fast the dore and bring me the key, it hangeth
by upon a pin on the wall. Dispatch and do this gear as privily as
you can: and thou, Nevola, come hither to me again with
speed.


NEVOLA

Well,

I shall.

DALIO

Alas,
how shall I be revenged of this extreme despite? If I punish my
servant according to his devilish deserts, I shall heap further cares
upon my own head: for to such detestable offences no punishment can
seem sufficient, but only death, and in such cases it is not lawful
for a man to be his own carver. The laws are ordained, and officers
appointed to minister justice for the reddress of wrongs: and if to
the potestates I complain me, I shall publish my own reproach to the
world. Yea, what should it prevail me to use all the punishments that
can be devised? The thing once done cannot be undone. My daughter is
deflowered, and I utterly dishonested: how can I then wipe that blot
off my brow? And on whom shall I seek revenge? Alas, alas, I myself
have been the cause of all these cares, and have deserved to bear the
punishment of all these mishaps. Alas, I should not have committed my
dearest darling in custody to so careless a creature as this olde
nurse: for we see by common proof, that these olde women be either
peevish, or pitiful: either easily enclined to evil, or quickly
corrupted with bribes and rewards. O wife, my good wife (that now
liest cold in the grave), now may I well bewail the want of thee, and
mourning now may I bemoan that I miss thee: if thou hadst lived such
was thy governement of the least things that thou wouldest prudently
have provided for the preservation of this pearl. A costly jewel may
I well accompt her, that hath been my chief comfort in youth, and is
now become the corosive of my age. O Polynesta, full evil
hast thou requited the clemency of thy careful father: and yet to
excuse thee guiltless before God, and to condemn thee guilty before
the world, I can count none other but my wretched self the caytife
and causer of all my cares. For of all the duties that are requisite
in human life, only obedience is by the parents to be required of the
child: where on the other side the parents are bound, first to
beget them, then to bring them forth, after to nourish them, to
preserve them from bodily perils in the cradle, from danger of soul
by godly education, to match them in consort enclined to virtue, to
banish them all idle and wanton company, to allow them sufficient for
their sustentation, to cut off excess the open gate of sin, seldom or
never to smile on them unless it be to their encouragement in virtue,
and finally, to provide them mariages in time convenient, lest
(neglected of vs) they learn to set either too much or too litle by
themselves. Five years are past since I might have married her, when
by continual excuses I have prolonged it to my own perdition. Alas, I
should have considered, she is a collop of my own flesh: what should
I think to make her a princess? Alas alas, a poor kingdom have I now
caught to endowe her with. It is too true, that of all sorrows this
is the head source and chief fountain of all furies: the goods of the
world are uncertain, the gains to be rejoyced at, and the loss not
greatly to be lamented. Only the children cast away, cutteth the
parents throat with the knife of inward care, which knife will kill
me surely, I make none other accompt.


Damon’s

seruants come to him againe.


[4]


Nevola.

Damon. Pasiphilo.


NEVOLA

Sir,

we have done as you had us, and here is the key.

DALIO

Well,
go then, Nevola, and seeke master Casteling the
jailer, he dwelleth by S. Antony’s gate, desire him too lend me a
pair of the fetters he useth for his prisoners, and come again
quickly.


NEVOLA

Well

sir.

DALIO

Hear
you, if he asks what I would do with them, say you cannot tell, and
tell neither him nor any other, what is become of Dulipo.


Damon goeth

out.


I
warrant you sir. Fie upon the devil, it is a thing almost
impossible for a man nowadays to handle money, but the metal will
stick on his fingers: I marvelled always at this fellow of
mine, Dulipo, that of the wages he received, he could
maintain himselfe so bravely apparelled, but now I perceive the
cause, he had the disbursing and receipt of all my master’s
affairs, the keys of the granair, Dulipo here, Dulipo there,
favoure with my master, in favour with his daughter, what would you
more, he was Magister
factotum:
he was as fine as the Crusader, and we silly wretches as course as
canvas: well, behold what it is come to in the end, he had been
better to have done less.


PASIPHILO

Thou

saiest true Nevola, he hath done too much indeed.

NEVOLA

From

whence commest thou, in the devil’s name?

PASIPHILO

Out

of the same house thou camest from, but not out of the same door.

NEVOLA

We

had thought thou hadst been gone long since.

PASIPHILO

When
I arose from the table, I felt a rumbling in my belly, which made me
run to the stable, and there I fell asleep upon the straw, and have
lain there ever since. And thou? Whether goest thou?


NEVOLA

My

master hath sent me on an errand in great hast.

PASIPHILO

Whether,

I pray thee?

NEVOLA

Nay,

I may not tell. Farewell.

PASIPHILO

As
though I need any further instructions. Oh God, what news I heard
euen now, as I lay in the stable: O good Erostrato and
pore Cleander, that have so earnestly stroven for this
damsel, happy is he that can get her, I promise you, he shall be sure
of more than one at a clap that catcheth her, either Adam or Eve
within her belly. Oh God, how men may be deceived in a woman? Who
would haue believed the contrary but that she had been a virgin? Ask
the neighbours and you shall hear very good report of her. Marke her
behaviours and you would have judged her very maidenly: seldom seen
abroad but in place of prayer, and there very devout, and no gaser at
outward sights, no blaser of her beauty above in the windows, no
stale at the door for the bypassers. You would have thought her a
holy young woman. But much good do it, Domine Doctor, he shall be
sure to lack no corn in a dear year, whatsoever he have
with her else: I beshrew me if I let the marriage anyway. But is not
this the old scabbed quean that I heard disclosing all this gear to
her master, as I stood in the stable ere now? It is she. Whither
goeth Psiteria?


Pasiphilo

espieth Psiteria coming.


[4]


Psyteria.

Pasiphilo.


PSYTERIA

To

a gossip of mine hereby.

PASIPHILO

What?

To tattle of the goodly stir that thou keptst concerning Polynesta.

PSYTERIA

No

no: but how knew you of that gear?

PASIPHILO

You

told me.

PSYTERIA

I?

When did I tell you?

PASIPHILO

Even
now when you told it to Damon, I both saw you and heard you,
though you saw not me: a good part I promise you, to accuse the poor
wench, kill the old man with care, over and besides the danger you
have brought Dulipo and the nurse unto, and many more, fie,
fie.


PSYTERIA

Indeed

I was to blame, but not so much as you think.

PASIPHILO

And

how not so much? did I not hear you tell?

PSYTERIA

Yes,
but I will tell you how it came to pass: I have known for a great
while, that this Dulipo and Polynesta have lain together, and all by
the means of the nurse: yet I held my peace, and never told it. Now
this other day the nurse sell on scolding with me, and twice or
thrice called me drunken old whore, and such names that it was too
bad: and I called her bawd, and told her that I knew well enough how
often she had brought Dulipo to Polynesta’s bed: yet all this while
I thought not that anybody had heard me, but it befell clean
contrary: for my master was on the other side of the wall, and heard
all our tale, whereupon he sent for me, and forced me to confess all
that you heard.


PASIPHILO

And

why wouldest thou tell him? I would not for etc.

PSYTERIA

Well,

if I had thought my master would have taken it so, he should rather
have killed me.

PASIPHILO

Why?

How could he take it?

PSYTERIA

Alas,
it pitieth me to see the poor young woman how she weepes, wailes, and
tears her hair: not esteeming her own life half so dear as she doth
poor Dulipo’s: and her father, he weepes on the other side, that it
would pierce an heart of stone with pity: but I must be gone.


PASIPHILO

Go

that the gunpowder consume thee, old trot.


[4]


[1]


Erostrato,

fained.


EROSTRATO

What
shall I do? Alas, what remedy shall I find for my rueful estate? What
escape, or what excuse may I now devise to shift over our subtle
supposes? For though to this day I have usurped the name of my
master, and that without check or control of any man, now shall I be
openly deciphered, and that in the sight of every man: now shall it
openly be known, whether I be Erostrato the gentleman,
or Dulipo the servant. We have hitherto played our parts in
abusing others: but now commeth the man that will not be abused, the
right Philogano the right father of the
right Erostrato: going to seek Pasiphilo, and
hearing that he was at the water gate, behold I espied my
fellow Litio, and by and by my old master Philogano setting
forth his first step on land: I too fuge and away hither as fast as I
could to bring word to the right Erostrato, of his right
father Philogano, that to so sudden a mishap some subtle
shift might be upon the sudden devised. But what can be imagined to
serve the turn, although we had months respite to beat our brains
about it, since we are commonly known, at the least supposed in this
town, he for Dulipo, a slave and servant to Damon, and I
for Erostrato a gentleman and a student? But behold, runs Crapine to
yonder old woman before she gets within the doors, and desires her to
call out Dulipo: but hear you? If she asks who would speak
with him, say thyself and none other.


Erostrato

espieth Psyteria coming, and sendeth his lackey to her.


[2]


Crapino.

Psyteria. Erostrato, fained.


CRAPINO

Honest

woman, you gossip, thou rotten whore, hearest thou not, old witch?

PSYTERIA

A
rope stretch your young bones, either you must live to be as old as
I, or be hanged while you are young.


CRAPINO

I

pray thee, looke if Dulipo be within.

PSYTERIA

Yes,

that he is I warrant him.

CRAPINO

Desire

him then to come hither and speak a word with me, he shall not
tarry.

PSYTERIA

Content

yourself, he is otherwise occupied.

CRAPINO

Yet

tell him so, gentle girl.

PSYTERIA

I

tell you he is busy.

CRAPINO

Why

is it such a matter to tell him so, thou crooked crone?

PSYTERIA

A

rope stretch you, Mary.

CRAPINO

A

pox eat you, Mary.

PSYTERIA

Thou

wilt be hanged, I warrant thee, if thou live to it.


CRAPINO

And

thou wilt be burnt, I warrant thee, if the canker consumes thee not.

PSYTERIA

If

I come near you hempstring, I will teach you to sing solfa.

CRAPINO

Come

on, and if I get a stone I will scare crows with you.

PSYTERIA

Go

with a mischief, I think thou be some devil that would tempt me.

EROSTRATO

Crapine: heare
you? Come away, let her go with a vengeance, why come you not? Alas,
look where my master Philogano commeth: what shall I do?
where shall I hide me? He shall not see me in these clothes, nor
before I have spoken with the right Erostrato.


Erostrato

espieth Philogano coming, and runneth about to hide him.


[3]


Philogano.

Ferrarese, the innkeeper. Litio, a seruant.


PHILOGANO

Honest
man it is even so: be you sure there is no love to be compared like
the love of the parents towards their children. It is not long since
I thought that a very weighty matter should not have made me come out
of Sicilia, and yet now I have taken this tedious toil and
travail upon me, only to see my son, and to have him home with me.


FERRARESE

By

my faith sir, it hath been a great travail indeed, and too much for
one of your age.

PHILOGANO

Yea,
be you sure: I came in companie with certain gentlemen of my country,
who had affairs to dispatch as far as to Aneona, from
thence by water to Ravenna, and from Ravenna hither,
continually against the tide.


FERRARESE

Yea,

and I think that you had but homely lodging by the way.

PHILOGANO

The
worst that ever man had: but that was nothing to the stir that
the searchers kept with me when I came aborde the ship:
Jesus, how often they untrussed my male, and ransaked a little
capcase that I had, tossed and turned all that was within it,
searched my bosom, yea, my breeches, that I assure you I thought they
would have flayed me to search between the fell and the flesh for
fardings.


FERRARESE

Sure

I have heard no less, and that the merchants bob them sometimes, but
they play the knaves still.

PHILOGANO

Yea,
be you well assured, such an office is the inheritance of a knave,
and an honest man will not meddle with it.


FERRARESE

Well,
this passage shall seem pleasant unto you when you shall find your
child in health and well: but I pray you, sir, why did you not rather
send for him into Sicilia, than to come yourself, sepecially since
you had none other business? Peradventure you had rather endangered
yourself by this noisome journey, than hazard to draw him from his
study.


PHILOGANO

Nay,
that was not the matter, for I had rather have him give over his
study altogether and come home.

FERRARESE

Why?

If you minded not to make him learned, to what end did you send him
hither at the first?

PHILOGANO

I
will tell you: when he was at home he did as most young men do, he
played many mad pranks and did many things that liked me not very
well: and I, thinking that by that time he had seen the world, he
would learn to know himself better, exhorted him to study, and put in
his election what place he would go to. At the last he came hither,
and I think he was scarce here so soon as I felt the want of him, in
such sort, as from that day to this I have passed few nights without
tears. I have written to him very often that he should come home, but
continually he refused still, beseeching me to continue his study,
wherein he doubted not (as he said) but to profit greatly.


FERRARESE

Indeed

he is very much commended of all men, and especially of the best
reputed students.

PHILOGANO

I
am glad he hath not lost his time, but I care not greatly for so much
knowledge. I would not be without the sight of him againeso long, for
all the learning in the world. I am old now, and if God should call
me in his absence, I promise you I think it would drive me into
desperation.


FERRARESE

It

is commendable in a man to love his children but to be so tender over
them is more womanlike?

PHILOGANO

Well,
I confess it is my fault: and yet I will tell you another cause of my
comming hither, more weighty than this. Diverse of my country haue
been here since he came hither, by whom I have sent unto him, and
some of them haue been thrice, some four or five times at his house,
and yet could never speak with him. I fear he applies his study so
that he will not lose the minute of an hour from his book. What,
alas, he might yet talk with his countrymen for a while: he is a
young man, tenderly brought up, and if he fare thus continually night
and day at his book, it may be enough to drive him into a frenzy.


FERRARESE

Indeed,

enough were as good as a feast. Loe you sir here is your
son Erostratoe’s house, I will knock.

PHILOGANO

Yea,

I pray you knock.

FERRARESE

They

hear not.

PHILOGANO

Knock

again.

FERRARESE

I

think they be aspleep.

LITIO

If
this gate were your grandefather’s soul, you could not knock more
softly, let me come: ho, ho, is there anybody within?


Dalio

commeth to the window, and there maketh them answer.


[4]


Dalio,

the cook. Ferrarese, the innholder. Philogano. Litio, his man.


DALIO

What

devil of hell is there? I think he will break the gates in pieces.

LITIO

Mary,
sir, we had thought you had been asleep within, and therefore we
thought best to wake you: what doth Erostrato?


DALIO

He

is not within.

PHILOGANO

Open

the door, good fellow, I pray thee.

DALIO

If

you think to lodge here, you are deceived, I tell you, for here are
guests enow already.

PHILOGANO

A

good fellow, and much for thy master’s honesty by our Lady: and
what guests, I pray thee?

DALIO

Here

is Philogano, my master’s father, lately come out
of Sicilia.

PHILOGANO

Thou
speakest truer than thou art aware of, he will be, by that time thou
hast opened the door: open, I pray thee heartily.


DALIO

It
is a small matter for me to open the door, but here is no lodging for
you, I tell you plain, the house is full.

PHILOGANO

Of

whom?

DALIO

I

told you: here is Philogano, my maister’s father come
from Catania.

PHILOGANO

And

when came he?

DALIO

He
came three hours since, or more, he alighted at the Angel, and left
his horses there: afterwards my master brought him hither.


PHILOGANO

Good

fellow, I think thou hast good sport to mock me.

DALIO

Nay,
I think you have good sport to make me tarry here, as though I have
nothing else to do: I am matched with an unruly mate in the kitchen.
I will go look to him another while.


PHILOGANO

I

think he be drunken.

FERRARESE

Sure

he seems so: see you not how red he is about the gills?

PHILOGANO

Abide

fellow, what Philogano is it whom thou talkest of?

DALIO

An

honest gentleman, father to Erostrato my master.


PHILOGANO

And

where is he?

DALIO

Here

within.

PHILOGANO

May

we see him?

DALIO

I

think you may if you be not blind.

PHILOGANO

Go

to, go tell him here is one would speak with him.

DALIO

Mary,

that I will willingly do.

PHILOGANO

I

cannot tell what I should say to this gear. Litio, what
thinkest thou of it?

LITIO

I
cannot tell you what I should say sir, the world is large and
long, there may be more Philoganos and more Erostratos
than one, yea and more Ferraras, more Sicilias, and more Catanias:
peradventure this is not that Ferrara whiche you sent your son unto.


PHILOGANO

Peradventure
thou art a fool, and he was another that answered us even now. But be
you sure honest man, that you mistake not the house?

FERRARESE

Nay,
then god help, think you I know not Erostrato’s house? Yes, and
himself also: I saw him here no longer since than yesterday. But here
comes one that will tell us tidings of him, I like his countenance
better than the others that answered at the window erewhile.


Dalio

draweth his hed in at the window, the Senese commeth out.


[5]


Senese.

Philogano. Dalio.


SENESE

Would

you speak with me, sir?

PHILOGANO

Yea

sir, I would fain know whence you are.

SENESE

Sir,

I am a Sicilian, at your commandement.

PHILOGANO

What

part of Sicilia?

SENESE

Of Catania.


PHILOGANO

What

shall I call your name?

SENESE

My

name is Philogano.

PHILOGANO

What

trade do you occupy?

SENESE

Merchandise.


PHILOGANO

What

merchandise brought you hither?

SENESE

None,

I came only to see a son that I have here whom I saw not these two
years.

PHILOGANO

What

call they your son?

SENESE

Erostrato.


PHILOGANO

Is Erostrato your

son?

SENESE

Yea,

verily.

PHILOGANO

And

are you Philogano?

SENESE

The

same.

PHILOGANO

And

a marchant of Catania?

SENESE

What

need I tell you so often? I will not tell you a lie.

PHILOGANO

Yes,

you have told me a false lie, and thou art a villain and no better.

SENESE

Sir,

you offer me great wrong with these injurious words.

PHILOGANO

Nay,
I will do more than I have yet proffered to do, for I will prove thee
a liar, and a knave to take upon thee that thou art not.


SENESE

Sir,

I am Philogano of Catania, out of all doubt, if I
were not I would be loth to tell you so.

PHILOGANO

Oh,

see the boldness of this brute beast, what a brasen face he setteth
on it?

SENESE

Well,

you may beleive me if you list: what wonder you?

PHILOGANO

I
wonder at thy impudence, for thou, nor nature that framed thee, can
ever counterfeit thee to be me, ribald villain, and lying wretch that
thou art.

DALIO

Shall
I suffer a knave to abuse my master’s father thus? Hence villain,
hence, or I will sheath this good falchion in your paunch: if my
master Erostrato finds you prating here on this fashion to his
father, I would not be in your coat for more cony skins than I gat
these twelve months: come you in again sir, and let this cur bark
here till he bursts.


Dalio

pulleth the Senese in at the doors.



[6]


Philogano.

Litio. Ferrarese.


PHILOGANO

Litio, how

likest thou this gear?

LITIO

Sir,
I like it as evil as may be: but have you not often heard tell of the
falsehood of Ferrara, and now may you see, it falleth out
accordingly.


FERRARESE

Friend,

you do not well to slander the city, these men are no Ferrareses you
may know by their tongue.

LITIO

Well,
there is never a barrel better herring, between you both: but indeed
your officers are most to blame, that suffer such faults to escape
unpunished.


FERRARESE

What

know the officers of this? Think you they know of every fault?

LITIO

Nay,
I think they will know as little as may be, especially when they have
no gaines, by it, but they ought to have their ears as open to hear
of such offences, as the inngates be to receive guests.


PHILOGANO

Hold

thy peace, fool.

LITIO

By

the mass I am afeard that we shall be proved fools both two.

PHILOGANO

Well,

what shall we do?

LITIO

I

would think best we should go seeke Erostrato himself.

FERRARESE

I

will wait upon you willingly, and either at the schools, or at the
convocations, we shall find him.

PHILOGANO

By
our Lady I am weary, I will run no longer about to seek him, I am
sure hither he will come at the last.

LITIO

Sure, my

mind gives me that we shall find a new Erostrato ere it be
long.

FERRARESE

Look
where he is, whether runs he? stay you awhile, I will go tell him
that you are here: Erostrato, Erostraro, ho Erostrato, I
would speak with you.


Erostrato
is espied vpon the stage running about.


[7]


Fained

Erostrato. Ferrarese. Philogano. Litio. Dalio.


EROSTRATO

Now

can I hide me no longer. Alas, what shall I do: I will set a good
face on, to bear out the matter.

FERRARESE

O Erostrato,

Philogano your father is come out of Sicilia.

EROSTRATO

Tell

me that I know not, I have been with him and seen him already.

FERRARESE

Is

it possible? And it seemeth by him that you know not of his coming.

EROSTRATO

Why,

have you spoken with him? When saw you him, I pray you?

FERRARESE

Look
you where he stands, why go you not to him? Look you Philogano,
behold your dear son Erostrato.


PHILOGANO

Erostrato? This

is not Erostrato: this seemeth rather to be Dulipo, and
it is Dulipo indeed.

LITIO

Why,

doubt you of that?

EROSTRATO

What

saith this honest man?

PHILOGANO

Mary,

sir, indeed you are so honorably glad, it is no maruell if you look
big.

EROSTRATO

To

whome speaketh he?

PHILOGANO

What,

God help, do you not know me?

EROSTRATO

As

far as I remember, sir, I never saw you before.

PHILOGANO

Hark, Litio, he

is good gear, this honest man will not know me.

EROSTRATO

Gentleman,

you take your marks amiss.

LITIO

Did
I not tell you of the falsehood of Ferrara, master? Dulipo hath
learned to play the knave indifferently well since he came hither.


PHILOGANO

Peace,

I say.

EROSTRATO

Friend,
my name is not Dulipo, ask you thorough out this town of
great and small, they know me: ask this honest man that is with you,
if you will not believe me.


FERRARESE

Indeed,
I never knew him otherwise called than Erostrato: and so they
call him, as many as know him.


LITIO

Master,
now you may see the falsehood of these fellows: this honest man your
host, is of counsel with him, and would face us down that it
is Erostrato: beware of these mates.


FERRARESE

Friend,
thou dost me wrong to suspect me, for sure I never heard him
otherwise called than Erostrato.


EROSTRATO

What
name could you hear me called by, but by my right name? But I am wise
enough to stand prating here with this old man, I think he be mad.


PHILOGANO

Ah
runagate, ah villain traitor, dost thou use thy master thus? What
hast thou done with my son, villain?


DALIO

Doth

this dog barke here still? And will you suffer him master thus to
revile you?

EROSTRATO

Come

in, come in, what wilt thou do with this pestil?

DALIO

I

will rap the old cackabed on the costard.

EROSTRATO

Away
with it, and you sirra, lay down these stones: come in at door
everyone of you, bear with him for his age, I pass not of his evil
words.


Erostrato

taketh all his servants in at the doors.



[8]


Philogano.
Ferrarese. Litio.


PHILOGANO

Alas,
who shall relieve my miserable estate? To whom shall I complain?
Since he whom I brought up of a child, yea, and cherished him as if
he had been mine own, doth now utterly deny to know me: and you whom
I took for an honest man, and he that should have brought me to the
sight of my son, are compact with this false wretch, and would face
me down that he is Erostrato. Alas, you might have some compassion of
my age, to the misery I am now in, and that I am a stranger desolate
of all comfort in this country: or at the least, you should have
feared the vengeance of God the supreme judge (which knoweth the
secrets of all hearts) in hearing this false witness with him, whom
heaven and earth do know to be Dulipo and not Erostrato.


LITIO

If
there be many such witnesses in this coūtrey, men may go about to
proue what they wil in cōtrouersies here.


FERRARESE

Well
sir, you may judge of me as it pleaseth you: and how the matter
commeth to pass I know not, but truly, ever since he came first
hither, I have known him by the name of Erostrato, the son of
Philogano, a Cathanese: now
whether he be so indeed, or whether he be Dulipo (as you allege) let
that be proved by them that knew him before he came hether. But I
protest before God, that which I have said, is neither a matter
compact with him, nor any other, but even as I have heard him called
and reputed of al men.


PHILOGANO

Out
and alas, he whom I sent hither with my son to be his servant, and
to give attendance on him, hath either cut his throat, or by some
evil means made him away: and hath not only taken his garments, his
books, his money, and that which he brought out of Sicilia with him,
but usurpeth his name also, and turneth to his own commodity the
bills of exchange that I have always allowed for my son’s expences.
Oh miserable Philogano, oh unhappy old man: oh eternal God, is
there no judge? No officer? No higher powers whom I may complain unto
for redress of these wrongs?


FERRARESE

Yes
sir, we have potestates, we have judges, and above all, we have a
most just prince: doubt you not, but you shall have justice if your
cause be just.


PHILOGANO

Bring
me then to the judges, to the potestates, or to whom you think best:
for I will disclose a pack of the greatest knavery, a fardel of the
fowlest falsehood that ever was heard of.


LITIO

Sir,
he that will go to the law, must be sure of four things: first, a
right and a just cause; then a righteous advocate to plead; next,
favour coram
iudice; and
above all, a good purse to procure it.


FERRARESE

I

have not heard, that the law hath any respect to favour: what you
mean by it I cannot tell.

PHILOGANO

Have

you no regard to his words, he is but a fool.

FERRARESE

I

pray you sir, let him tell me what is favour.

LITIO

Favour
call I, to have a friend near about the judge, who may so solicite
thy cause, as if it be right, speedy sentence may ensue without any
delays: if it be not good, then to prolong it, till at the last, thy
adversary being weary, shall be glad to compound with thee.


FERRARESE

Of
thus much (although I never heard thus much in this country before)
doubt you not Philogano, I will bring you to an advocate
that shall speede you accordingly.


PHILOGANO

Then
shall I give myself, as it were a pray to the lawyers, whose
insatiable jaws I am not able to feed, although I had here all the
goods and lands which I possess in my own country: much less being a
stranger in this misery. I know their cautels of old: at the first
time I come they will so extol my cause, as though it were already
won: but within a sevennight or ten days, if I do not continually
feed them as the crow doth her brats, twenty times in an hour, they
will begin to wax cold, and to find cavils in my cause, saying, that
at the first I did not well instruct them, till at the last, they
will not only draw the stuffing out of my purse, but the marrow out
of my bones.

FERRARESE

Yea

sir, but this man that I tell you of, is half a saint.

LITIO

And

the other half a devil, I hold a penny.

PHILOGANO

Well

sayd Litio, indeed I have but small confidence in their
smooth looks.

FERRARESE

Well
sir, I think this whom I mean, is no such manner of man: but if he
were, there is such hatred and evil wiòl between him and this
gentleman (whether he be Erostrato or Dulipo, whatsoever
he be) that I warrant you, he will do whatsoever he can do for you,
were it but to spite him.


PHILOGANO

Why?

What hatred is betwixt them?

FERRARESE

They

are both in love and suitors to one gentlewoman, the daughter of a
wealthy man in this city.

PHILOGANO

Why?
Is the villain become of such estimation that he dare presume to be a
suitor to any gentlewoman of a good family?


FERRARESE

Yea,

sir, out of all doubt.

PHILOGANO

How

call you his adversary?

FERRARESE

Cleander, one

of the excellentest doctors in our city.

PHILOGANO

For

God’s love let us go to him.

FERRARESE

Go

we then.


[5]


[1]


Fained

Erostrato.


EROSTRATO

What
a mishap was this? That before I could meet with Erostrato, I have
light even full in the lap of Philogano: where I was constrained to
deny my name, to deny my master, and to fain that I knew him not, to
contend with him, and to revile him, in such sort, that hap what hap
can, I can never hap well in favour with him again. Therefore if I
could come to speak with the right Erostrato, I will
renounce unto him both habit and credit, and away as fast as I can
trudge into some strange country, where I may never
see Philogano again. Alas, he that of a little child hath
brought me up unto this day, and nourished me as if I had been
his own: and indeed (to confess the truth) I have no father to trust
unto but him. But look where Pasiphilo commeth, the fittest
man in the world to go on me message to Erostrato.


Erostrato

espieth Pasiphilo coming towards him.


[2]


Pasiphilo.

Erostrato.


PASIPHILO

Two
good news have I heard today already: one that Erostrato prepared
a great feast this night: the other, that he seeketh for me. And I
too ease him of his travail, least he should run up and down seeking
me, and because no man loveth better than I to have an errand where
good cheer is, come in post hast even home to his own house: and look
where he is.


EROSTRATO

Pasiphilo, thou

must do one thing for me if thou love me.

PASIPHILO

If

I love you not, who loves you? Command me.

EROSTRATO

Go

then a little there, to Damon’s house, aske
for Dulipo, and tell him.

PASIPHILO

What

you what? I cannot speak with him, he is in prison.

EROSTRATO

In

prison? How commeth that to pass? Where is he in prison?

PASIPHILO

In

a vile dungeon there within his master’s house.

EROSTRATO

Canst

thou tell wherefore?

PASIPHILO

Be

you content to know he is in prison, I have told you too much.

EROSTRATO

If

ever you will do anything for me, tell me.

PASIPHILO

I

pray you desire me not, what were you the better if you knew?

EROSTRATO

More

than thou thinkest Pasiphilo by God.

PASIPHILO

Well,

and yet it stands me upon more than you think, to keepe it secret.

EROSTRATO

Why Pasiphilo, is
this the trust I have had in you? Are these the fair promises you
have always made me?

PASIPHILO

By

the mass I would I had fasted this night with master doctor, rather
than have come hither.

EROSTRATO

Well, Pasiphilo, either
tell me, or at few words never think to be welcome to this house from
henceforth.

PASIPHILO

Nay,
yet I had rather lease all the Gentlemen in this town. But if I tell
you anything that displease you, blame nobody but yourself now.


EROSTRATO

There
is nothing can grieve me more than Dulipo’s mishap, no
not my own: and therfore I am sure thou canst tell me no worse
tidings.


PASIPHILO

Well,
since you would needs have it, I wil tell you: he was taken a bed
with your beloved Polynesta.


EROSTRATO

Alas,

and doth Damon know it?

PASIPHILO

An
old trot in the house disclosed it to him, wherupon he took
both Dulipo and the nurse which hath been the broker of all
this bargain, and clapped them both in a cage, where I think they
shall have sorrow sops to their sweet meats.

EROSTRATO

Pasiphilo, go
thy ways into the kitchen, command the cook to boil and roast what
liketh thee best, I make thee supervisor of this supper.


PASIPHILO

By
the mass if you should have studied this sevennight, you could not
have appointed me an office to please me better. You shall swe what
dishes I will devise.


Pasiphilo

goeth in, Erostrato tarrieth.


[3]


Fained

Erostrato alone.


EROSTRATO

I
was glad to rid him out of the way, least he should see me burst out
of these swelling tears, which hitherto with great pain I have
prisoned in my breast, and least he should hear the echo of my
doubled sighs, which bounce from the bottom of my heavy heart. Oh
cursed I, oh cruel fortune, that so many dispersed griefs as were
sufficient to subvert a legion of lovers, hast suddenly assembled
within my careful carcass to treat this fearful heart in sunder with
desperation. Thou that hast kept my master all his youth within the
realm of Sicilia, reserving the wind and waves in a temperate
calm (as it were at his commande), now to convey his aged limbs
hither, neither sooner nor later: but even in the worst time that may
be. If at any time before thou haddest conducted him, this enterprise
had been cut off without care in the beginning: and if never so
little longer thou hadst lingered his journey, this happy day might
then have fully finished our drifts and devises. But alas, thou hast
brought him even in the very worst time, to plunge us all in the pit
of perdition. Neither art thou content to entangle me alone in thy
ruinous ropes, but thou must also catch the right Erostrato in
thy crooked claws, to reward us both with open shame and rebuke. Two
years hast thou kept secret our subtil supposes, even this day to
decipher them with a sorrowful success. What shall I do? Alas, what
shift shall I make? It is too late now to imagine any further deceit,
for every minute seemeth an hour till I find some succor for the
miserable captive Erostrato. Well, since there is no other
remedy, I will go to my master Philogano, and to him will I
tell the whole truth of the matter, that at the least he may provide
in time, before his son feel the smart of some sharp revenge and
punishment. This is the best, and thus will I do. Yet I know, that
for my own part I shall do bitter penance for my faults forepassed:
but such is the good will and duty that I bear to Erostrato, as
even with the loss of my life I must not stick to adventure anything
which may turn to his commodity. But what shall I do? shall I go seek
my master about the town, or shall I tarry his return hither? If I
meet him in the streets, he will cry out upon me, neither will he
harken to anything that I shall say, till he have gathered all the
people wondering about me, as it were at an owl. Therefore I were
better to abide here, and yet if he tarries long I will go seek him,
rather than prolong the time to Erostrato’s perill.


Pasiphilo

returneth to Erostrato.


[4]


Pasiphilo.

Fained Erostrato.


PASIPHILO

Yea,
dress them, but lay them not to the fire, till they will be ready to
sit down. This gear goeth in order: but if I had not gone in, there
had fallen a foul fault.


EROSTRATO

And

what fault, I pray thee?

PASIPHILO

Mary, Dalio would
have laid the shoulder of mutton and the capon both to the fire at
once like a fool: he did not consider, that the one would have more
roasting than the other.


EROSTRATO

Alas,

I would this were the greatest fault.

PASIPHILO

Why?
and either the one should have been burned before the other had been
roasted, or else he must have drawn them off the spite: and they
would have been served to the board either cold or raw.


EROSTRATO

Thou

hast reason, Pasiphilo.

PASIPHILO

Now
sir, if it please you I will go into the town and buy oranges,
olives, and caphers, for without such sauce the supper were more than
half lost.


EROSTRATO

There

are within already, doubt you not, there shall lack nothing that is
necessary.

PASIPHILO

Since
I told him these news of Dulipo, he is clean beside
himself: he hath so many hammers in his head, that his brains are
ready to burst: and let them break, so I may sup with him
tonight, what care I? But is not this Dominus
noster Cleandrus
that commeth before? Well said, by my truth we will teach master
Doctor to wear a cornered cap of a new fashion. By God, Polynesta
shall be his, he shall have her out of doubt, for I have
told Erostrato such news of her, that he will none of her.


Cleander

and Philogano come in, talking of the matter in controversy.


[5]


Cleander.

Philogano. Litio. Pasiphilo.


CLEANDER

Yea,
but how will you prove that he is not Erostrato, having such
presumptions to the contrary? Or how shall it be thought that you
are Philogano, when another taketh upon him this same name,
and for proof bringeth him for a witness, which hath been ever
reputed here for Erostrato?


PHILOGANO

I
will tell you sir, let me be kept here fast in prison, and at my
charges let there be some man sent into Sicilia, that may bring
hither with him two or three of the honestest men in Catania, and by
them let it be proved if I or this other be Philogano, and
whether he be Erostrato or Dulipo my servant: and if
you find me contrary, let me suffer death for it.


PASIPHILO

I

will go salute master Doctor.

CLEANDER

It

will ask great labour and great expences to prove it this way, but it
is the best remedy that I can see.

PASIPHILO

God

save you sir.

CLEANDER

And

reward you as you have deserved.

PASIPHILO

Then

shall he give me your favour continually.

CLEANDER

He

shall give you a halter, knave and villain that thou art.

PASIPHILO

I

know I am a knave, but no villain. I am your servant.

CLEANDER

I

neither take thee for my seruant, nor for my friend.

PASIPHILO

Why?

wherein have I offended you sir?

CLEANDER

Hence

to the gallows knave.

PASIPHILO

What

soft and fair sir, I pray you, i
praesequar, you
are my elder.

CLEANDER

I

will be even with you, be you sure, honest man.

PASIPHILO

Why

sir? I never offended you.

CLEANDER

Well,

I will teach you: out of my sight, knave.

PASIPHILO

What?

I am no dog, I would you wist.

CLEANDER

Pratest

thou yet, villain? I will make thee.

PASIPHILO

What

will you make me? I see well the more a man doth suffer you, the
worse you are.

CLEANDER

Ah

villain, if it were not for this gentleman, I would tell you what I.

PASIPHILO

Villain?

Nay, I am as honest a man as you.

CLEANDER

Thou

liest in thy throat, knave.

PHILOGANO

O

sir, stay your wisdom.

PASIPHILO

What

will you fight? Mary, come on.

CLEANDER

Well

knave, I will meet with you another time, go your way.

PASIPHILO

Even

when you list sir, I will be your man.

CLEANDER

And

if I be not even with thee, call me out.

PASIPHILO

Nay
by the mass, all is one, I care not, for I have nothing: if I had
either lands or goods, peradventure you would pull me into the law.


PHILOGANO

Sir,

I perceive your patience is moved.

CLEANDER

This
villain: but let him go, I will see him punished as he hath deserved.
Now to the matter, how said you?

PHILOGANO

This

fellow hath disquieted you sir, peradventure you would be loth to be
troubled any further.

CLEANDER

Not

a whit, say on, and let him go with a vengeance.

PHILOGANO

I

say, let them send at my charge to Catania.

CLEANDER

Yea,
I remember that well, and it is the surest way as this case
requireth: but tell me, how is he your servant? and how come you by
him? Inform me fully in the matter.


PHILOGANO

I

will tell you sir: when the Turks won Otranto.

CLEANDER

Oh,

you put me in remembrance of my mishaps.

PHILOGANO

How

sir?

CLEANDER

For
I was driven among the rest out of the town (it is my native country)
and there I lost more than ever I shall recover again while I live.


PHILOGANO

Alas,

a pitiful case, by S. Anne.

CLEANDER

Well,

proceed.

PHILOGANO

At
that time (as I said) there were certain of our country that scoured
those costs upon the seas, with a good bark; well appointed for the
purpose, and had espial of a Turkey vessel that came laden from
thence with great abundance of riches.


CLEANDER

And

peradventure most of mine.

PHILOGANO

So
they boarded them, and in the end overcame them, and brought the
goods to Palermo, whence they came, and amongst other things that
they had, was this villain my servant, a boy at that time, I think
not past five years old.


CLEANDER

Alas,

I lost one of that same age there.

PHILOGANO

And
I being there, and liking the child’s favour well, proffered them
four and twenty ducates for him, and had him.


CLEANDER

What?

Was the child a Turk? Or had the Turks brought him from Otranto?

PHILOGANO

They
said he was a childe of Otranto, but what is that to the matter?
Once 24 ducates he cost me, that I wot well.


CLEANDER

Alas,

I speak it not for that sir, I would it were he whom I mean.

PHILOGANO

Why,

whom mean you sir?

LITIO

Beware

sir, be not to lavish.

CLEANDER

Was

his name Dulipo then? Or had he not another name?

LITIO

Beware

what you say sir.

PHILOGANO

What

the devil hast thou to do? Dulipo? No sir, his name
was Carino.

LITIO

Yea,

well said, tell all and more to, do.

CLEANDER

O

Lord, if it be as I think, how happy were I? And why did you change
his name then?

PHILOGANO

We
called him Dulipo, because when he cried as chrildren do
sometimes, he would always cry on that name Dulipo.


CLEANDER

Well,
then I see well it is my own only child, whome I lost, when I lost my
country: he was named Carino after his grandfather, and this
Dulipo whom he always remembered in his lamenting, was his
foster father that nourished him and brought him up.


LITIO

Sir,
have I not told you enough of the falshood of Ferrara? This gentleman
will not only pick your purse, but beguile you of your servant also,
and make you believe he is his son.


CLEANDER

Well

goodfellow, I have not used to lie.

LITIO

Sir

no, but everything hath a beginning.

CLEANDER

Fie, Philogano, have

you not the least suspect that may be of me.

LITIO

No

Mary, but it were good he had the most suspect that may be.

CLEANDER

Well,
hold thou thy peace a little, good follow. I pray you tell me,
Philogano: had the child any remembrance of his father’s name,
his mother’s name, or the name of his family?


PHILOGANO

He

did remember them, and could name his mother also, but sure I have
forgotten the name.

LITIO

I

remember it well enough.

PHILOGANO

Tell

it then.

LITIO

Nay,

that I will not, Mary, you have told him too much already.

PHILOGANO

Tell

it I say, if thou can.

LITIO

Can?
Ye,s by the mass, I can well enough: but I will have my tongue
pulled out, rather than tell it, unless he tell it first: do you not
perceive sir, what he goeth about?


CLEANDER

Well,
I will tell you then, my name you know already: my wife, his mother’s
name was Sophronia, the house that I came of, they call Spiagia.


LITIO

I
never heard him speake of Spiagia but indeed I have heard
him say his mother’s name was Sophronia: but what of that? A
great matter I promise you. It is like enough that you two have
compacted together to deceive my master.

CLEANDER

What
needeth me more evident tokens? this is my son out of doubt whom I
lost eighteen years since, and a thousand thousand times have I
lamented for him: he should have also a mould on his left shoulder.


LITIO

He
hath a mould there indeed: and an hole in an other place to, I would
your nose were in it.


CLEANDER

Fair
words, fellow Litio: oh I pray you let us go talk with him. Oh
fortune, how much am I bound to thee if I find my son?


PHILOGANO

Yea,
how little am I beholden to fortune, that know not where my son is
become, and you whom I chose to be my advocate, will now (by the
means of this Dulipo) become my adversary?


CLEANDER

Sir,

let us first go find mine: and I warrant you yours will be found also
ere it be long.

PHILOGANO

God

grant: go we then.

CLEANDER

Since

the door is open, I will never knock nor call, but we will be bold to
go in.

LITIO

Sir,

take you heed, least he lead you to some mischief.

PHILOGANO

Alas Litio, if

my son be lost what care I what become of me?

LITIO

Well,

I have told you my mind, sir. Do you as you please.

Exeunt. Damon

and Psiteria come in.



[6]


Damon.

Psyteria.


DAMON

Come
hither you old kallat, you tattling housewife, that the devil cut out
your tongue: tell me, how could Pasiphilo know of this gear but by
you?


PSYTERIA

Sir,

he never knew it of me, he was the first that told me of it.

DAMON

Thou
liest, old drab, but I would advise you tell me the truth, or I will
make those old bones rattle in your skin.

PSYTERIA

Sir,

if you find me contrary, kill me.

DAMON

Why?

where should he talk with thee?

PSYTERIA

He

talked with me of it here in the street.

DAMON

What

did you here?

PSYTERIA

I

was going to the weaver’s for a web of cloth you have there.

DAMON

And

what cause could Pasiphilo have to talk of it, unless thou
began the matter first?

PSYTERIA

Nay,
he began with me sir, reviling me, because I had told you of it: I
asked him how he knew of it, and he said he was in the stable when
you examined me ere while.


DAMON

Alas,
alas, what shall I do then? In at doors, old whore, I will pluck that
tongue of thine out by the roots one day. Alas, it grieveth me more
that Pasiphilo knoweth it, than all the rest. He that will have a
thing kept secret, let him tell it to Pasiphilo: the people
shall know it, and as many as have ears and no more. By this time he
hath told it in a hundreth places. Cleander was the
first, Erostrato the second, and so from one to another
throughout the city. Alas, what dower, what marriage shall I now
prepare for my daughter? O poor dolorous Damon, more miserable
than misery itself, would God it were true that Polynesta told
me ere while: that he who hath deflowered her, is of no servile
estate, (as hitherto he hath been supposed in my service) but that he
is a gentleman born of a good parentage in Sicilia. Alas,
small riches should content me, if he be but of an honest family: but
I fear that he hath devised these toys to allure my daughter’s
love. Well, I wil go examine her again, my mind giveth me that I
shall perceive by her tale whether it be true or not. But is not this
Pasiphilo that cometh out of my neighbour’s house? What the devil
aileth him to leap and laugh so like a fool in the high way?


Pasiphilo

cometh out of the town laughing.


[7]


Pasiphilo.

Damon.


PASIPHILO

O God,

that I might find Damon at home.

DAMON

What

the devil would he with me?

PASIPHILO

That

I may be the first that shall bring him these news.

DAMON

What

will he tell me, in the name of God?

PASIPHILO

O

Lord, how happy am I? look where he is.

DAMON

What

newes Pasiphilo, that thou art so merry?

PASIPHILO

Sir,

I am merry to make you glad: I bring you joyful news.

DAMON

And

that I have need of, Pasiphilo.

PASIPHILO

I
know sir, that you are a sorrowful man for this mishap that hath
chanced in your house, peradventure you thought I had not known of
it. But let it pass, pluck up your sprits, and rejoyce: for he that
hath done you this injury is so well borne, and hath so rich parents,
that you may be glad to make him your son-in-law.


DAMON

How

knowest thou?

PASIPHILO

His
father Philogano, one of the worthiest men in
all Catania, is now come to the city, and is here in your
neighbour’s house.


DAMON

What,

in Erostrato’s house?

PASIPHILO

Nay,
in Dulipo’s house: for where you have always supposed
this gentleman to be Erostrato, it is not so, but your
servant whom you have emprisoned hitherto, supposed to be Dulipo, he
is indeed Erostrato: and that other is Dulipo. And
thus they have always, even since their first arrival in this city,
exchanged names, to the end that Erostrato the master,
under the name of Dulipo a servant, might be entertained in
your house, and so win the love of your daughter.


DAMON

Well,

then I perceive it is even as Polynesta told me.

PASIPHILO

Why,

did she tell you so?

DAMON

Yea,

but I thought it but a tale.

PASIPHILO

Well,
it is a true tale: and here they will be with you by and by:
both Philogano this worthy man, and master doctor Cleander.


DAMON

Cleander? What

to do?

PASIPHILO

Cleander? Why
thereby lies another tale, the most fortunate adventure that ever you
heard: wot you what? this other Dulipo, whom all this while we
supposed to be Erostrato, is found to be the son of Cleander, whom he
lost at the loss of Otranto, and was after sold in Sicilia too
this Philogano, the strangest case that ever you heard: a
man might make a comedy of it. They will come even straight, and tell
you the whole circumstance of it themselves.


DAMON

Nay,
I will first go hear the storiy of this Dulipo, be
it Dulipo or Erostrato that I have here within,
before I speak with Philogano.


PASIPHILO

So

shall you do well sir, I will go tell them that they may stay a
while, but look where they come.

Damon

goeth in, Senese, Cleander and Philogano come upon the stage.



[8]


Senese.

Cleander. Philogano.


SENESE

Sir,
you shall not need to excuse the matter any further, since I
have received no greater injury than by words, let them pass like
wind, I take them well in worth, and am rather well pleased than
offended: for it shall both be a good warning to me another time how
to trust every man at the first sight, yea, and I shall have good
game here after to tell this pleasant story another day in my owne
country.


CLEANDER

Gentleman,
you have reason: and be you sure, that as many as hear it, will take
great pleasure in it. And you Philogano may think, that God
in heaven above, hath ordained your coming hither at this present to
the end I might recover my lost son, whom by no other means I could
ever have found out.


PHILOGANO

Surely
sir I think no less, for I think that not so much as a leaf falleth
from the tree, without the ordinance of God. But let us go seek
Damon, for me thinketh every day a year, every hour a day, and
every minute too much till I see my Erostrato.


CLEANDER

I
cannot blame you, go we then. Carino take you that
gentleman home in the meantime, the fewer the better to be present at
such affairs.


Pasiphilo

stayeth their going in.


[9]


Pasiphilo.

Cleander.


PASIPHILO

Master

doctor, will you not show me this favour, to tell me the cause of
your displeasure?

CLEANDER

Gentle Pasiphilo, I
must needs confess I have done thee wrong, and that I believed tales
of thee, which indeed I find now contrary.


PASIPHILO

I

am glad then that it proceed rather of ignorance than of malice.

CLEANDER

Yea,

believe me, Pasiphilo.


PASIPHILO

O

sir, but yet you should not have given me such foul words.

CLEANDER

Well,
content thyself Pasiphilo, I am thy friend as I have always
been: for proof whereof, come sup with me tonight, and from day to
day this seven night be thou my guest. But behold, here
cometh Damon out
of his house.

Here

they come all together.


[10]


Cleander.

Philogano. Damon. Erostrato. Pasiphilo. Polinesta.
Nevola, and other servants.


CLEANDER

We
are come unto you sir, to turn you sorrow into joy and gladness: the
sorrow, we mean, that of force you have sustained since this mishap
of late fallen in your house. But be you of good comfort sir, and
assure yourself, that this young man which youthfully and not
maliciously hath committed this amorous offence, is very well able
(with consent of this worthy man his father) to make you sufficient
amends: being born in Catania of Sicilia, of a
noble house, no way inferior unto you, and of wealth (by the report
of such as know it) far exceeding that of yours.


PHILOGANO

And
I here in proper person, do present unto you sir, not only my assured
friendship and brotherhood, but do earnestly desire you to accept my
poor child (though unworthy) as your son-in-law: and for recompence
of the injury he hath done you, I proffer my whole lands in dower to
your daughter: yea, and more would, if more I might.


CLEANDER

And
I sir, who have hitherto so earnestly desired your daughter in
marriage, do now willingly yield up and quite claim to this young
man, who both for his years and for the love he beareth her, is most
meetest to be her husband. For where I was desirous of a wife by whom
I might have issue, to leave that little which God hath sent me: now
have I little need, that (thanks be to God) have found my dearly
beloved son, whom I lost of a child at the siege of Otranto.


DAMON

Worthy
gentleman, your friendship, your alliance, and the nobility of your
birth are such, as I have much more cause to desire them of you than
you to request of me that which is already granted. Therefore I
gladly and willingly receive the same, and think myself most happy
now of all my life past, that I have gotten so toward a son-in-law to
myself, and so worthy a father-in-law to my daughter: yea, and much
the greater is my contentation, since this worthy gentleman master
Cleander, doth hold himself satisfied. And now behold your son.


EROSTRATO

O

father.

PASIPHILO

Behold
the natural love of the child to the father: for inward joye he
cannot pronounce one word, instead whereof he sendeth sobs and tears
to tell the effect of his inward invention. But why do you abide here
abroad? Will it please you to go into the house sir?


DAMON

Pasiphilo hath

said well: will it please you to go in sir?

NEVOLA

Here

I have brought you sir, both fetters and bolts.

DAMON

Away

with them now.

NEVOLA

Yea, but what shall I do with them?

DAMON

Mary,
I will tell thee Neuola: to make a right end of our
supposes, lay one of those bolts in the fire, and make thee a
suppository as long as my arme, God save the sample. Nobles and
gentlemen, if you suppose that our supposes have given you sufficient
cause of delight, show some token, whereby we may suppose you are
content.


Et

plauserunt.


ToC