Menaecmi. A pleasant and fine Conceited Comædie, taken out of the most excellent wittie Poet Plautus: chosen purposely from out the rest, as least harmefull, and yet most delightfull.

Menaecmi. A pleasant and fine Conceited Comædie, taken out of the most excellent wittie Poet Plautus: chosen purposely from out the rest, as least harmefull, and yet most delightfull.

Written in English, by W. W.

LONDON

Printed by Tho. Creede, and are to be sold by William Barly, at his shop in Gratious streete.

1595

The Printer to the Readers.

The writer hereof (loving Readers) having diverse of this Poettes Comedies Englished, for the use and delight of his private friends, who in Plautus owne words are not able to understand them : I have prevailed so far with him as to let this one go farther abroad, for a publike recreation and delight to all those, that affect the diverse sorts of bookes compiled in this kind, wherof (in my iudgement) in harmlesse mirth and quicknesse of fine conceit, the most of them come far short of this. And although I found him very loath and unwilling to hazard this to the curious view of envious detraction, (being as the tels mee) neither so exactly written, as it may carry any name of a Translation, nor such liberties therin used, as that he would notoriously varie from the Poets owne order : yet sith it is onely a matter of meriment, and the litle alteration therof, can breede no detriment of importance, I have over-rulde him so farre, as to let this be offered to your courteous acceptance, and if you shall applaude his litle labour heerein, I doubt not but he will endeuour to gratifie you with some of the rest better laboured, and more curiously pollished.

Farewell.

* Where you finde this marke, the Poets conceit is somewhat altred, by occasion either of the time, the country, or the phrase.

The Argument.

* Two Twinborne sonnes, a Sicill marchand had,

Menechmus one, and Sosicles the other:

The first his Father lost a litle Lad,

The Grandsire namde the latter like his brother.

This (growne a man) long travell tooke to seeke,

His Brother, and to Epidamnum came,

Where th’other dwels inricht, and him so like,

That Citizens there take him for the same:

Father, wife, neighbours, each mistaking either,

Much pleasant error, ere they meete togither.

A pleasant and fine Conceited Comædie called Menechmus, taken out of the most excellent Poet Plautus

Act i. Scene. I.

Enter Peniculus a Parasite.

Peniculus was given mee for my name when I was yong, bicause like a broome I swept all clean away, where so ere I become : Namely all the vittels which are set before mee. Now in my iudgement, men that clap iron bolts on captives as the would keepssake, and tie those servants in chaines, who they thinkes will run away, they commit an exceeding great folly: my reason is, these poore wretches enduring one miserie upon another, never cease devising how by wrenching asunder their gives, or by some subtiltie or other they may escape such cursed bands.
If then ye would keep a man without all suspition of running away from ye, the surest way is to tie him with meate, drinke, and ease: Let him ever be idle, eate his belly full, and carouse while his skin will hold, and he shall never I warrant ye, stir a foote. These strings to tie one by the teeth, passe all the bands of iron, steele, or what mettall so ever, for the more slack and easie ye make them, the faster still they tie the partie which is in them. I speake this upon experience of my selfe, who am now going for Menechmus, there willingly to be tied to his goode cheare : he is commonly so exceeding bountifull and liberall in his fare, as no maveryle though such guestes as my selfe be drawne to his Table, and tyed there in his dishes. Now because I have lately bene a sstraunger there, I meane to visite him at dinner: for my stomacke mee-thinkes ever thrusts me into the fetters of his daintie fare. But yonder I his doore open, and himselfe readie to come foorth.

Scene 2.

Enter Menechmus talking backe to his wife within.

If ye were not a brabling foole and mad-braine scold as yee are, yee would never thus crosse your husbande in all actions. Tis no matter, let her serve me thus once more, Ile send her home to her dad with a vengeance. I can never go foorth a doors, but shee asketh mee whither I go? what I do? what busines? what I fetch?what I carry? *As though she were a Constable, or a tollgatherer. I have pamperd her too much: she hath servants about her, wooll, flax, and all things necessary to busie her withall, yet she watcheth & wondreth whither I go. Well sith it is so, she shall now have some cause, I mean to dine this day abroad with a sweet friend of mine.

Peniculus

Yea mary now comes hee to the point that prickes me: this last speech ganles mee as much as it would doo his wife; If he dine not at home, I am drest.

Menechmus

We that have Loves abroad, and wives at home, are miserably hampred, yet would every man could tame his shrewe as well as I doo mine. I have now filcht away a fine ryding cloake of my wives, which I meane to bestow upon one that I love better. Nay, if she be so warie and watchfull over me, I count it an almes deed to deceive her.

Peniculus

Come, what share have I in that same?

Menechmus

Out alas, I am taken.

Peniculus

True, but by your friend.

Menechmus

What, mine owne Peniculus?

Peniculus

Yours (ifaith) bodie and goods if I had any.

Menechmus

Why thou hast a bodie.

Peniculus

Yea, but neither goods nor good bodie.

Menechmus

Thou couldst never come fitter in all thy life.

Peniculus

Tush, I ever do so to my friends, I know how to come alwaies in the nicke. Where dine ye today?

Menechmus

Ile tell thee of a notable pranke.

Peniculus

What did the Cooke marre your meate in the dressing? Would I might see the reversion.

Menechmus

Tell me didst thou see a picture, how Iupiters Eagle snatcht away Ganimede, or how Venus stole away Adonis.

Peniculus

Often, but what care I for shadowes, I want substance.

Menechmus

Looke thee here, looke not I like such a picture?

Peniculus

Oho, what cloake have ye got here?

Menechmus

Prethee say I am now a brave fellow.

Peniculus

But hearke ye, where shall we dine?

Menechmus

Tush, say as I bid thee man.

Peniculus

Out of doubt ye are a fine man.

Menechmus

What? canst adde nothing of thine owne?

Peniculus

Ye are a most pleasant Gentleman.

Menechmus

On yet.

Peniculus

Nay not a word more, unlesse ye tell mee how you and your wife be fallen out.

Menechmus

Nay I have a greater secret then that to impart to thee.

Peniculus

Say your minde.

Menechmus

Come farther this way from my house.

Peniculus

So, let me heare.

Menechmus

Nay farther yet.

Peniculus

I warrant ye man.

Menechmus

Why thou hast a bodie.

Peniculus

True, but by your friend.

* Menechmus

Nay yet farther.

Peniculus

Tis pittie ye were not made a water-man to row in a wherry.

Menechmus

Why?

Peniculus

Because ye go one way, and looke an other, stil least your wife should follow ye. But what’s the matter, Ist not almost dinner time?

Menechmus

Seest thou this cloake?

Peniculus

Not yet. Well what of it?

Menechmus

This fame I meane to give to Erotium.

Peniculus

That’s well, but what of all this?

Menechmus

There I meane to have a delicious dinner prepard for her and me.

Peniculus

And me?

Menechmus

And thee.

Peniculus

O sweet word. What,shall I knock presently at her doore?

Menechmus

I knocke. But staie too Peniculus, let’s not be too rash. Oh see shee is in good time coming forth.

Peniculus

Ah, he now lookes against the Sun, how her beames dazell his eyes.

Enter Erotium.

Erotium

What mine owne Menechmus, welcome sweete heart.

Peniculus

And what am I, welcome too?

Erotium

You sir? ye are out of the number of my welcome guests.

* Peniculus

I am like a voluntary souldier, out of paie.

Menechmus

Erotium, I have determined that here shal be pitcht a field this day ; we meane to drinke for the heavens : And which of us performes the bravest service at his weopon the wine boll, your selfe as Captaine shall paie him his wages according to his deserts.

Erotium

Agreed.

Peniculus

I would we had the weapons, for my valour pricks me to the battaile.

Menechmus

Shall I tell thee sweete mouse? I never looke upon thee, but I am quite out ot love with my wife.

Erotium

Yet yee cannot chuse, but yee must still weare something of hers: what this same?

Menechmus

This? such a spoyle (sweete heart) as I tooke from her to put on thee.

Erotium

Mine owne Menechmus, well woorthe to bee my deare, of all dearest.

Peniculus

Now she showes her selfe in her likenesse, when shee findes him in the giving vaine, she drawes close to him.

Menechmus

I thinke Hercules got not the garter from Hypolita so hardly, as I got this from my wife. Take this, and with the same, take my heart.

Peniculus

Thus they must do that are right Lovers:especially if they meane to beggers with ane speed.

Menechmus

I bought this same of late for my wife, it stood mee (I thinke) in some ten pound

Peniculus

There’s tenne pounde bestowed verie thriftily.

Menechmus.

But knowe yee what I woulde have yee doo?

Erotium

It shall bee done, your dinner shall be readie.

* Menechmus

Let a good dinner be made for us three. Harke ye, some oysters, a mary-bone pie or two, some artichockes, and potato rootes, let our other dishes be as you please.

Erotium

You shall sir.

Menechmus

I have a litle businesse in this Citties, by that time dinner will be prepared. Farewell till then, sweete Erotium: Come Peniculus.

Peniculus

Nay I meane to follow yee : I will sooner leese my life, then fight of you till this dinner be done.

Exeunt.

Erotium

Who’s there? Call mee Cylindrus the Cooke hither.

Enter Cylindrus.

Cylindrus, take the Hand-basket, and heere, there’s ten shillings is there not?

Cylindrus

Tis so mistresse.

Erotium

Buy mee of all the daintiest meates ye can get, ye know what I meane: so as three may dine passing well, and yet no more then inough.

Cylindrus

What guests have ye to day mistresse?

Erotium

Here will be Menechmus and his Parasite, and my selfe.

Cylindrus

That’s ten persons in all.

Erotium

How many?

Cylindrus

Ten, for I warrant you, that Parasite may stand for eight at his vittels.

Erotium

Go dispatch as I bid you, and looke ye returne with all speed.

Cylindrus

I will have all readie with a trice.

Exeunt.

Act 2. Scen.1.

Enter Menechmus, Sosicles. Messenio his servant, and some Saylers.

Menechmus

Surely Messenio, I thinke Sea-fairers never take so comfortable a ioy in any thing, as when they have bene long toft and turmoylde in the wide seas, they hap at last to ken land.

Messenio

Ile be sworn, I shuld not be gladder to see a whole Country of mine owne, then I have bene at such a sight. But I pray, wherfore are we now come to Epidamnum?must we needs go to see everie Towne that we heare off?

Menechmus

Till I finde my brother, all Townes are alike to me: I must trie in all places.

Messenio

Why then let’s even as long as wee live seeke your brother: six yeares now have we roamde about thus, Istria, Hispania, Massylia, Ilyria, all the upper sea, all high Greece, all Haven Towns in Italy, I think if we had sought a needle all this time, we must needs have found it, had it bene above ground. It cannot be that he is alive, and to seek a dead man thus among the living, what folly is it?

Menechmus

Yea, could I but once find any man that could certainly enforme me of his death, I were satisfied ; otherwise I can never desist seecking: Litle knowest thou Messenio how neare my heart it goes.

Messenio

This is washing of a Blackamore. Faith let’s goe home, unlesse ye meane we should write a stories of our travaile.

Menechmus

Sirra, no more of these sawcie speeches, I perceive I must teach ye how to serve me, not to rule me.

Messenio

I, so, now it appears what it is to be a servant. Wel yet I must speake my conscience. Do ye heare sir? Faith I must tell ye one thing, when I looke into the leane estate of your purse, and consider advisedly of your decaying stocke, I hold it verie needfull to be drawing homeward, lest in loo- king your brother, we quite lose our selves. For this assure your selfe, this Towne Epidamnum, is a place of outragious expences, exceeding in all ryot and lasciousnesse: and (I heare) as full of Ribaulds, parasites, drunkards, Catchpoles, Cony-catchers, and Sycophants, as it can hold:then for Curtizans, why here’s the currantest stamp of them in the world. Ye must not thinke here to scape with as light cost as in other places. The verie name shews the nature, no man comes hither sine damno.

Menechmus

Yee say very well indeed: give mee my purse into mine owne keeping, because I will so be the safer, sine damno.

Messenio

Why sir?

Menechmus

Because I feare you wil be busie among the the Curtizans,& so be cosened of it: then should I take great paines in belabouring your shoulders, so to auoid both these harms, Ile keep it my selfe.

Messenio

I pray do so sir, all the better.

Enter Cylindrus.

* I have tickling geare here yfaith for ther dinners: It grieves me to the hear to think how that cormorant knave
Peniculus must have his share in these dainties morsels. But what ? Is Menechmus come alreadie, before I could come from the Market? Menechmus how do ye sir? how haps it ye come so soone?

Menechmus

God a mercy my good friend, doest thou know mee?

Cylindrus

Know ye? no not I. Where’s mouldichappes that must dine with ye? A murrin on his manners.

Menechmus

Whom meanest thou good fellow?

Cylindrus

Why Peniculus worship, that whorson lick-trencher, your Parasiticall attendant.

Menechmus

What Peniculus? what attendant? My Attendant? Surely this fellow is mad.

Messenio

Did not I tell ye what cony-catching villaines yee should finde here?

Cylindrus

Menechmus, harke ye sir, ye come too soone backe a- gain to dinner, I am but returned from the Market.

Menechmus

Fellow, here thou shalt have money of me, goe get the priest to sacrifice for thee. I know thou art mad, els thou wouldst never use a sstraunger thus?

Cylindrus

Alas sir, Cylindrus was wont to be no stranger to you, know ye not Cylindrus?

Menechmus

Cylindrus, or Coliendrus, or what the divell thou art, I know not, neither do I care to know.

Cylindrus

I know you to be Menechmus.

Menechmus

Thou shuoldst be in thy wits, in that thou namest me so right, but tell me, where hast thou knowne me?

Cylindrus

Where? Even heere, where ye first fell in love with my mistresse Erotium.

Menechmus

I neither have Lover, neither knowe I who thou art.

Cylindrus

Know ye not who I am: who fils your cup & dresses your meate at our house?

Messenio

What a slave is this? That I had somewhat to break the Rascals pate withall.

Menechmus

At your house, when as I never came in Epidamnum till this day.

Cylindrus

Oh that’s true. Do ye not dwell in yonder house?

Menechmus

Foule shame light upon them that dwell there, for my part.

Cylindrus

Questionlesse, hee is mad indeede, to curse himselfe thus. Harke ye Menechmus.

Menechmus

What saist thou?

Cylindrus

If I may advise ye, ye shall bestow this money which ye offred me, upon a sacrifice for you selfe : for out of doubt you are mad that curse your selfe.

Messenio

What a verlet art thoud to trouble us thus?

Cylindrus

Tush he wil many times iest with me thus. Yet when his wife is not by, tis a ridiculous iest.

Menechmus

VVhats that?

Cylindrus

This I say, Thinke ye I have brought meate inough for three of you? If not, ile fetche more for you and your wench, and snatchcrust your Parasite.

Menechmus

VVhat wenches? what Parasites?

Messenio

Villaine, Ile make thee tell me what thou meanest by all this talke?

Cylindrus

Away Iack Napes, I say nothing to thee, for I know thee not, I speake to him that I know.

Menechmus

Out drunken foole, without doubt thou art out of thy wits.

Cylindrus

That you shall see by the dressing of your meat. Go, go, ye were better to go in and finde somewhat to do there, whiles your dinner is making readie. Ile tell my mistresse ye be here.

Menechmus

Is he gone? Messenio I thinke uppon thy words alreadie.

Messenio

Tush marke I pray, ile laie fortie pound here dwels some Curtizan to whom this fellow belong.

Menechmus

But I wonder how he knowes my name.

Messenio

Oh ile tell yee. These Courtizans assoone as anie straunge shippe arriveth at the Haven, they sende a boye or a wench to enquire what they be, what their names be, //////// they come, wherefore they come, &c. If they can by any meanes strike acquaintance with him, or allure him to their houses, he is their owne. We are here in a tickle place maister, tis best to be circumspect.

Menechmus

I mislike not thy counsaile Messenio.

Messenio

I, but follow it then. Soft, here comes somebodie forth. Here firs, Marriners, keep this same amongst you.

Enter Erotium.

Let the doore stand so, away, it shall not be shure. Make hast within there ho: maydes looke that all things be readie. Cover the boord, put fire under the perfuming pannes, let all things be very handsome. Where is hee, that Cylindrus sayd stood without here? Oh, what meane you sweet heart, that ye come not in? I trust you thinke your selfe more welcome to this house then to your owne, and great reason why you should do so. Your dinner & all things are readie as you wil- led.Will ye go sit downe?

Menechmus

Whom doth this woman speake to?

Erotium

Even to you sir, to whom else should I speake?

Menechmus

Gentlewoman ye are a straunger to me, and I marvell at your speeches.

Erotium

Yea sir, but such a straunger, as I acknowledge ye for my best and dearest friend, and well you have deserved it.

Menechmus

Surely Messenio, this woman is also mad or drunke, that useth all this kindnesse to mee uppon so small acquaintance.

Messenio

Tush, did not I tell ye right ? these be but leaves which fall upon you now, in comparison of the trees that wil tumble on your necke shortly. I tolde ye, here were silver tong’de hacsters. But let me talke with her a litle. Gentlewoman what acquaintance have you with this man? where have you seene him?

Erotium

Where he sawe me, here in Epidamnum.

Cylindrus

I know you to be Menechmus.

Messenio

In Epidamnum? who never till this day set his foote within the Towne.

Erotium

Go, go, flowting Iack. Menechmus what need al this? I pray go in.

Menechmus

She also calls me by my name.

Messenio

She smels your purse.

Menechmus

Messenio come hither, here take my purse. Ile know whether she aime at me or my purse, ere I go.

Erotium

Will ye go in, to dinner sir?

Menechmus

A good motion, yea and thanks with all my heart.

Erotium

Never thanke me for that which you commaunded to be provided for your selfe.

Menechmus

That I commaunded?

Erotium

Yea, for you and your Parasite.

Menechmus

My Parasite?

Erotium

Peniculus, who came with you this morning when you brought me the cloake which you got from your wife.

Menechmus

A cloake that I brought you, which I got from my wife?

Erotium

Tush what needeth all this iesting? Pray leave off.

Menechmus

Iest or earnest, this I tell ye for a truth. I never had wife, neither have I, nor never was in this place till this instant: for only thus farre am I come, since I brake my fast in the ship.

Erotium

What ship do ye tell me off?

* Messenio

Marry ile tell ye, an old rotten weather-beaten ship, that we have saild up and downe in this sixe yeares, Ist not time to be going homewards thinke ye?

Erotium

Come, come, Menechmus, I pray leave this sporting and go in.

Menechmus

Well Gentlewoman, the truth is, you mistake my person, it is some other that you looke for.

Erotium

Why, thinke ye I know ye not to be Menechmus, the sonne of Moschus, and have heard ye say, ye were borne at Syracusis, where Agathocles did raigne, then Pythia, then Liparo, and now Hiero.

Menechmus

All this is true.

Messenio

Either shee is a witch, or else shee hath dwelt there and knew ye there.

Menechmus

Ile goe in with her Messenio, Ile see further of this matter.

Messenio

Ye are cast away then.

Menechmus

Why so? I warrant thee. I can loose nothing, somwhat I shall gaine, perhaps a good lodging during my abode heere. Ile dissemble with her an other while. Noew when you please let us go in, I made straunge with you, because of this fellow here, least he should tell my wife of the cloake which I gave you.

Erotium

Will ye staie any longer for your Peniculus your Parasite?

Menechmus

Not I, Ile neither staie for him, nor have him let come in, if he do come.

Erotium

All the better. But sir, will yee doo one thing for me.

Menechmus

What is that?

Erotium

To beare that cloake which you gave me, to the Diars, to have it new trimd and altred.

Menechmus

Yea that will be well, so my wife shall not know it. Let mee have it with mee after dinner. I will but speake a worde or two with this fellowe, then ile follow yee in. Ho Messenio come aside:goe and provide for thy selfe, and these shipboyes in some Inne, then looke that after dinner you come hither for me.

Messenio

Ah maister will yee be conycatcht thus wilfully.

Menechmus

Peace follish knave, seest thou not what a sot she is, I shall coozen her I warrant thee.

Messenio

Ay maister.

Menechmus

Wilt thou be gone?

* Messenio

See, see, she hath him safe inough now. Thus he hath escaped a hundreth Pyrates hands at sea: and now one land-rover hath bourded him at first encounter. Come away fellowes.

Act 3.

Enter Peniculus.

*Twentie yeares I thinke and more, have I playde the knave, yet never playd I the foolish knave as I Have done this morning. I follow Menechmus, and he goes to the Hall where now the Sessions are holden: there thrusting our selves into the prease of people, when I was in midst of all the throng, he gave me the slip, that I could never more set eye on him, and I dare sweare, came directly to dinner. That I would he that first devised these Sessions were hang’d, and all that ever came of him:tis such a hinderance to men that have belly business in hand. If a man be not there at his call, they amearce him with a vengeance. Men that have nothing else to do, that do neither bid anie man, nor are themselves bidden to dinner,such should come to Sessions, not we that have these matters to looke too. If it were s, I had not thus lost my dinner this day:which I think in my conscience he did even purposely couzen me off. Yet I meane to go see : If I can but light uppon the reversion, I may perhaps get my peny-worthes. But how now? is this Menechmus coming away from thence? dinner done, and all dispacht? what execrable lucke have I?

Enter Menechmus the Traveller.

Tush I warrant ye, it shall be done as ye would wish, Ile have it so altered and trimd anew, that it shall by no meanes be knowne againe.

Peniculus

He carries the cloake to the Dyars, dinner done, the wine drunke up, the Parasite shut out of doores. Well, let me live no longer, but ile revenge this iniurious mockerie. But first ile harken awhile what he saith.

Menechmus

Good goddes, who ever had such lucke as I? Such cheare, such a dinner, such kinde entertainment: And for a farewell, this cloake which is meane shall go with me.

Peniculus

He speakes so softly, I cannot heare what hee saith, I am sure he is now flowting at me for the losse of my dinner.

Menechmus

She tels me how I gave it her, and stole it from my wife. When I perceived she was in an error, though I knew not how, I began to sooth her, and to say every thing as she said. Meane while I far’d well, and that a free cost.

Peniculus

Well, I’le go talke with him.

Menechmus

Who is this same that comes to me?

Peniculus

O well met fickle-braine, false and treacherous dealer, craftie and uniust promise breaker. How have I deserved, you should so give me the slip, come before and dispatch the dinner, deale so badly with him that hath reverenst ye like a sonne.

Menechmus

Good fellow what meanest thou by these speeches? Raile not on mee, unlesse thous intendst to receive a Railers hire.

Peniculus

I have received the iniury (sure I am) alreadie.

Menechmus

Prethee tell me, what is thy name?

Peniculus

Well, well, mock on sir, mock on, doo ye not know my name?

Menechmus

In troth I never sawe thee in all my life, much lesse do I know thee.

Peniculus

Fie, awake Menechmus awake, ye oversleepe your selfe.

Menechmus

I am awake, I know what I say.

Peniculus

Know you not Peniculus?

Menechmus

Peniculus, or Pediculus, I know thee not.

Peniculus

Did ye filch a cloake from your wife this morning, and bring it hither to Erotium?

Menechmus

Neither have I wife, neither gave I any cloake to Erotium, neither filcht I any from any bodie.

Peniculus

Will ye denie that which you did in my company?

Peniculus

Wlith thou say I have done this in thy company?

Peniculus

Vvill I say it? Yea I will stand to it.

Menechmus

Away filthie mad drivell away, I will talke no longer with thee.

Peniculus

Not a world of men shall staie me, but ile go tell his wife of all the whole matter, sith he is at this point with me I will make this same as unflest a dinner as ever he eate.

Menechmus

It makes mee wonder, to see how every one that meetes me cavils thus with me. Vvherefore comes foorth the mayd now?

Enter Ancilla, Erotiums mayd.

Menechmus, my mistresse commends her hartily to you, and seeing you goe that way to the Dyars, shee also desireth you to take this Chaine with you, and put it to mending at the Goldsmythes, shee would have two or three ounces of gold more in it, and the fashion amended.

Menechmus

Either this or any thing else within my power, tell her, I am readie to accomplish.

Ancilla

Do ye know this Chaine sir?

Menechmus

Yea I know it to be gold.

Ancilla

This is the same you once tooke out of your wives Casket.

Menechmus

Vvho, did I?

Ancilla

Have you forgotten?

Menechmus

I never did it.

Ancilla

Give it me againe then.

Menechmus

Tarry, yes I remember it: tis it I gave you mistress.

Ancilla

Oh, are ye advised?

Menechmus

Vvhere are the bracelets that I gave her likewise?

Ancilla

I never knew of anie

Menechmus

Faith, when I gave this, I gave them too.

Ancilla

Vvell sir, ile tell her this shall be done.

Menechmus

I, I, tell her so, shee shall have the cloake and this both togither.

Ancilla

I pray Menechmus, put a litle iewell for my eare to making for me, ye know I am alwaies readie to pleasure you.

Menechmus

I will, give mee the golde, ile paie for the workemanship.

Ancilla

Laie out for me, ile paie it ye againe.

Menechmus

Alas I have none now.

Ancilla

When you have, will ye?

Menechmus

I will. Goe bid your mistresse make no doubt of these, I warrant her, ile make the best hand I can of them. Is
she gone? Doo not all the gods conspire to loade mee with good lucke? well I see tis high time to get mee out of these coasts, least all these matters should be lewd devised to draw me into some snare. There shall my garland lie, beacuse if they seeke me, they may thinke I am gone that way. * I wil now goe see if I can finde my man Messenio, that I may tell him how Is have sped.

Act 4.

Enter Mulier, the wife of Menechmus the Citizen, and Peniculus.

Mulier

Thinkes he I will be made such a sot, and to be still his drudge, while he prowles and purloynes all that I have to give his Trulles?

Peniculus

Nay hold your peace, wee’ll catch him in the nicke. This way he came, in his garland forsooth, bearing the cloak to the Dyars. And see I pray where the garland lyes, this way he is gone. See, see, where he comes againe now without the cloake.

Mulier

Vvhat shall I now do?

Peniculus

Vvhat that which ye ever do, bayt him for life.

Mulier

Surely I thinke it best so.

Peniculus

Stay, wee will stand a side a little, ye shall catch him unawares.

Enter Menechmus the Citizen.

Menechmus

It would make a man at his wittes end, to see how brabbling causes are handled yonder at the Court. If a poore man never so honst, have a matter come to be scand, there is hee outfaste, and overlaide with countenance: If a Rich man never so vile a wretch come to speake, there they are all readie to fauour his cause. Vvhat with facing out bad causes for the oppressors, and patronizing some iust actions for the wronged, the Lawyers they pocket up all the gaines. For mine own part, I come not away emptie, though I have bene kept long against my will : For taking in hand to dispatch a matter this morning for one of my acquaintaunce, I was no sooner entered into it, but his adversaries laide so hard unto his charge, and brought such matter against him, that do what I could, I could not winde my selfe out til now. I am fore afrayd Erotium thinks much unkindnes in me that I staid so long, yet she will not be angry considering the gift I gave her to day.

Peniculus

How thinke ye by that?

Mulier

I thinke him a most vile wretch thus to abuse me.

Menechmus

I will hie me thither.

Mulier

Yea go pilferer, goe with shame inough, no bodie sees your lewd dealings and vile theevery.

Menechmus

How now wife, what aile yee? What is the matter?

Mulier

Aske yee whats the matter ? Fye uppon thee.

Peniculus

Are ye not in a fit of an ague, your pulses beate so sore? To him I say.

Menechmus

Pray wife, why are ye so angry with me?

Mulier

Oh you know not?

Peniculus

He knowes, but he would dissemble it.

Menechmus

What is it?

Mulier

My cloake.

Menechmus

Your cloake.

Mulier

My cloake man, why do ye blush?

Peniculus

He cannot cloake his blushing. Nay I might not go to dinner with you, do ye remember? to him I say.

Menechmus

Hold thy peace Peniculus.

Peniculus

Ha hold my peace, looke ye, he beckons on mee to hold my peace.

Menechmus

I neither becken nor winke on him.

Mulier

Out, out, what a wretched life is this that I live.

Menechmus

Why what aile ye woman?

Mulier

Are ye not ashamed to deny so confidently, that which is apparent.

Menechmus

I protest unto you before all the goddes (is not this inough) that I beckond not on him.

Peniculus

Oh sir, this is an other matter, touch him in the former cause.

Menechmus

What former cause?

Peniculus

The cloake man, the cloake, fecth the cloake againe from the Dyars.

Menechmus

What cloake?

Mulier

Nay ile say no more, sith ye know nothing of your owne doings.

Menechmus

Tell me wife, hath any of your servants abused you? Let me know.

Mulier

Tush, tush.

Menechmus

I would not have you to be thus disquietted.

Mulier

Tush, tush.

Menechmus

You are fallen out with some of your friends.

Mulier

Tush, tush.

Menechmus

Sure I am, I have not offended you.

Mulier

No, you have dealt verie honestly.

Menechmus

Indeed wife, I have deserved none of these words, tell me, are ye not well?

Peniculus

What shall he flatter ye now?

Menechmus

I speak not to thee knave. Good wife come hither.

Mulier

Away, away, keep your hand off.

Peniculus

So, bid me to dinner with you againe, then slip away from me, when you have done, come forth bravely in your garland to flout me: Alas you knew not me, even now.

Menechmus

Why Asse, I neither have yet dined, nor came I there, since we were there togither.

Peniculus

Vvho ever heard one so impudent? Did yee not meete me here even now, and would make me beleeve I was

mad, and said ye were a straunger, and ye knew me not?

Menechmus

Of a truth since wee went togither to the Sessions Hall, I never returned till this very instant, as you two met
me.

Peniculus

Go too, go too, I know ye well inough. Did ye think I would not cry quittance with you, yes faith, I have tolde your wife all.

Menechmus

What hast thou told her?

Peniculus

I cannot tell, aske her.

Menechmus

Tell me wife, what hath he told ye of me? Tell me I say, what was it?

Mulier

As though you knew not, my cloake is stolne from me.

Menechmus

Is your cloake stolne from ye?

Mulier

Do ye aske me?

Menechmus

I knew, I would not aske.

Peniculus

O craftie companion, how he would shift the matter, Come, come, deny it not, I tell ye, I have bewrayd all.

Menechmus

What hast thou bewrayd?

Mulier

Seeing ye will yeeld to nothing be it never so manifest, Heare mee, and ye shall know in fewe words both the cause of my griefe, and what he hath told me. I say my cloake is stolne from me.

Menechmus

My cloake is stolne from me?

Peniculus

Looke how he cavils, she saith it is stolne from her.

Menechmus

I have nothing to say to thee: I say wife tell me.

Mulier

I tell ye, my cloake is stolne out of my house.

Menechmus

Who stole it?

Mulier

He knowes best that carried it away.

Menechmus

Who was that?

Mulier

Menechmus.

Menechmus

T’was very ill done of him. What Menechmus was that?

Mulier

You.

Menechmus

I, who will say so?

Mulier

I will.

Peniculus

And I: and that you gave it to Erotius.

Menechmus

I gave it?

Mulier

You.

Peniculus

You, you, you, shall we fetch a kennel of Beagles that may cry nothing but you, you, you, you. Sir we are wearie of it.

Menechmus

Heare me one word wife, I protest unto you by all the gods, I gave it her not, indeed I lent it her to use a while.

Mulier

Faith sir, I never give nor lend your apparell out of doores, mee thinkes ye might let mee dispose of mine owne garments, as you do of yours. I pray then fetch it mee home againe.

Menechmus

You shall have it againe without faile.

Mulier

Tis best for you that I have : otherwise thinke not to roost within these doores againe.

Peniculus

Harke ye.what say ye to me now, for bringing these matters to your knowledge?

Mulier

I say, when thou hast anie thing stolne from thee, come to me, and I will helpe thee to seeke it. And so fare-
well.

Peniculus

God a mercy for nothing, that can never be, for I have nothing in the world worth the stealing. So now with husband and wife and all, I am cleane out of fauour. A mischiefe on ye all.

Exit.

Menechmus

My wife thinks she is notably reveng’d on me, now she shuttes mee out of doores, as though I had not a better place to be welcome too. If she shut me out, I know who wil shut me in. Now will I entreate Erotium to le me have the cloake againe to stop my wives mouth withall, and then will I provide a better for her. Ho who is within there ? somebodie tell Erotium I must speake with her.

Enter Erotium.

Erotium

Who calls ?

Menechmus

Your friend, more then his owne.

Erotium

O Menechmus, why stand ye here? Pray come it.

Menechmus

Tarry, I must speake with ye here.

Erotium

Say your minde.

Menechmus

Wot ye what? my wife knowes all the matter now, and my coming is, to request you, that I may have againe the cloake which I brought you, that so I may appease her: and I promise you, ile give ye an other worth two of it.

Erotium

Why I gave it you to carry to your Dyars, and my chaine likewise, to have it altered.

Menechmus

Gave me the cloake and your chaines ? In truth I never sawe ye since I left it heere with you, and so went to the Sessions, from whence I am but now returned.

Erotium

Ah then sir, I see you wrought a device to defraude mee of them both, did I therefore put yee in trust ? Well, well.

Menechmus

To defraud ye? No, but I say, my wife hath intelligence of the matter.

Erotium

Why sir, I asked them not, ye brought them me of your owne free motion. Now ye require them againe, take them make sops of them:you and your wife togither, think ye I esteeme them or you either. Goe, come to mee againe when I send for you.

Menechmus

What so angry with mee, sweete Erotium? Staie, I pray staie.

* Erotium

Staie? Faith sir no:thinke ye I will staie at your request?

Menechmus

What gone in chasing, and clapt to the doores:now I am everie way shut oyt for a very benchwhistler: neither shall I have entertainment heere nor at hime. I were best go trie some other friends, and aske counsaile what to do.

Act 5.

Enter Menechmus the Traveller, Mulier.

Most foolishly was I overseene in giving my purse and money to Messenio, whom I can no where find, I feare he is fallen into some lewd companie.

Mulier

I marvaile that my husband comes not yet, but see where he is now, and brings my cloake with him.

Menechmus

I muse where the knave should be.

Mulier

I will go ring a peale through both his eares for this his dishonest behaviour. Oh sir, ye are welcome home with your theevery on your shoulders, are ye not ashamde to let all the world see and speake of your lewdnesse?

Menechmus

How now? what lackes this woman?

Mulier

Impudent beast, stand ye to question about it? For shame hold thy peace.

Menechmus

What offence have I done woman, that I should not speake to you?

Mulier

Askest thou what offence? O shamelesse boldnesse.

Menechmus

Good woman, did ye never heare why the Greci- ands termed Hecuba be a bitch?

Mulier

Never.

Menechmus

Because she did as you do now, on whom soever she met withall, she railed, and therfore well deserved that dogged name.

Mulier

These foule abuses and contumelies, I can never endure, nay rather will I live a widowes life to my dying day.

Menechmus

What care I whether thou livest as a widow or as a wife. This passeth, that I meet with none but thus they vexe me with straunge speeches.

Mulier

What straunge speeches? I say I will surely live a widowes life, rather then suffer thy vile dealings.

Menechmus

Prethee for my part, live a widow till the worldes end, if thou wilt.

Mulier

Even now thou deniedst that thou stolest it from mad, and now thou bringest it home openly in my sight. Art not ashamde?

Menechmus

Woman, you are greatly to blame to charge mee with stealing of this cloake, which this day an other gave me to carry to be trimde.

Mulier

Well, I will first complaine to my father. Ho boy, who is within there? Vecio go runne quickly to my father, desire him of all love to come over quickly to my house. Ile tell him first of your prankes, I hope he will not see me thus handled.

Menechmus

What a Gods name meaneth this mad woman thus to vexe me?

Mulier

I am mad because I tell ye of your vile actions, anlewde pilfring away my apparell and my Iewels, to carry to your filthie drabbes.

Menechmus

For whome this woman taketh mee I know not, I know her as much as I know Hercules wives father.

Mulier

Do ye not know me? That’s well, I hope ye know my father, here he comes, looke, do ye know him?

Menechmus

As much as I know Calcas of Troy. Even him and thee I know both alike.

Mulier

Doest know neither of us both, me nor my father?

Menechmus

Faith nor thy granfather neither.

Mulier

This is like the rest of your behaviour.

Enter Senex.

* Though bearing so great a burthen, as olde age, I can make no great haste, yet as I can, I will goe to my daughter, who I know hath some earnest businesse with me, that shesends in such haste, not telling the cause why I should come. But I durst laie a wager, I can gesse neare the matter : I suppose it is some brabble between her husband and her. These yoong women that bring great dowries to their husbands, are so masterfull and obstinate, that they will have their own wils in everie thing, and make men servants to their weake affections. And young men too, I must needs say, be naught nowadayes. Well ile go see, but yonder mee thinks stands my daughter, and her husband too. Oh tis even as I gessed.

Mulier

Father ye are welcome.

Senex

How now daughter? What? is all well? why is your husband so sad? have ye bin chiding? tell me, vvhich of you is in the fault?

Mulier

First father know, that I have not any way misbe- haved my selfe, but the truth is, I can by no meanes endure this bad man to die for it : and therefore desire you to take me home to you againe.

Senex

What is the matter?

Mulier

He makes me astale and a laughing stocke to all the world.

Senex

Who doth?

Mulier

This good husband here, to whom you married me.

Senex

See, see, how oft have I warned you of falling out with your husband?

Mulier

I cannot auoid it, if he doth so fowly abuse me.

Senex

I alwaies told ye, you must beare with him, ye must let him alone, ye must not watch him, nor dog him, nor meddle with his courses in any sort.

Mulier.

Hee hauntes naughtie harlottes under my nose.

Senex

Hee is the wiser, because hee cannot bee quiet at home.

Mulier.

There hee feastes and bancquets, and spendes and spoiles.

Senex

Wold ye have your husband serve ye as your drudge? Ye will not let him make merry, nor entertaine his friendes at home.

Mulier

Father will ye take his part in these abuses, and forsake me?

Senex

Not so daughter, but if I see cause, I wil as well tel him of his dutie.

Menechmus

I vvould I vvere gone from this prating father and daughter.

Senex

Hitherto I see not but hee keepes ye vvell, ye vvant nothing, apparell, mony, servants, meate, drinke, all thinges necessaire: I feare there is fault in you.

Mulier

But he filcheth away my apparrell and my iewels, to give to his Trulles.

Senex

If he doth so, tis verie ill done, if not, you doo ill to say so.

Mulier

You may beleeve me father, for there you may see my cloake which now he hath fetcht home againe, and my chaine which he stole from me.

Senex

Now will I goe talke with him to knowe the truth. Tell me Menechmus, how is it, that I heare such disorder in your life? Why are ye so sad man? wherein hath your wife offended you?

Menechmus

Old man (what to call ye I know not) by high Iobe, and by all the Gods I sweare unto you, whatsoever this woman here accuseth mee to have stolne from her, it is utterly false and untrue, and if I ever set foote within her doores, I wishe the greatest miserie in the worlde to light uppon me.

Senex

Why fond man, art thou mad to deny that thou ever setst foote within thine owne house where thou dwellest?

Menechmus

Do I dwell in that house?

Senex

Doest thou denie it?

Menechmus

I do.

Senex

Harke yee daughter, are ye remooved out of your house?

Mulier

Father, he useth you as he doth me, this life I have with him.

Senex

Menechmus, I pray leave this fondnesse, ye iest too perversly with your friends.

Menechmus

Good old father, what I pray have you to do with me? or why should this woman thus trouble me, with whom I have no dealings in the world?

Mulier

Father, marke I pray, how his eies sparkle, they rowle in his head, his colour goes and comes, he lookes wildly.
See, see.

Menechmus

What? they say now I am mad, the best way for me is to faine my selfe mad ineed, so I shall be rid of them.

Mulier

Looke how he stares about, now he gapes.

Senex

Come away daughter, come from him.

* Menechmus

Eachus, Appollo, Phebus, do ye call mee to come hunt in the woods with you, I see, I heare, I come, I flie, but I cannot get out of these fields. Here is an old mastiffe bitch stands barking at mee, and by her standes an old goate that beares false witnesse against many a poore man.

Senex

Out upon him Bedlam foole.

Menechmus

Harke, Appollo commaunds me that I should rende out hir eyes with a burning lampe.

Mulier

O father, he threatens to pull put mine eyes.

Menechmus

Good gods, these folke say I am mad, and doubtlesse they are mad themselves.

Senex

Daughter.

Mulier

Here father, what shall we do?

Senex

What if I fetch my folkes hither, and have him carried in before he do any harme.

Menechmus

How now? they will carry mee in if I looke not to my selfe: I were best to skare them better yet. Doest thou bid me Phebus, to teare this dog in peeces with my nayles? If I laie hold on him, I will do thy commandment.

Senex

Get thee into thy house daughter, away quickly.

Menechmus

She is gone : yea Appollo I will sacrifice this olde beast unto thee: and it thou commandest mee, I will cut his throate with that dagger that hands at his girdle.

Senex

Come not neare me sirra.

Menechmus

Yea I will quarter him, and pull all the bones out of his flesh, then will I barrell up his bowels.

Senex

Sure I am sore afraid he will do some hurt.

Menechmus

Many things thou commandest me Appollo, wouldst thou have me harnesse up these wilde horses, and then clime up into the Chariot, and so over-ride this old sticking toothlesse Lyon. So now I am in the Chariot, and I have hold on the raines, here is my whip, hait, come ye wilde Iades, make a Hideous noyse with your stamping: hait I say, will ye not go?

Senex

What? doth he threaten me with his horses?

Menechmus

Harke, now Appollo bids mee ride over him that that stands there, and kill him. How now? who pulles mee downe from my Chariot by the haires of my head. Oh shall I not fulfill Appolloes commandment?

Senex

See, see, what a sharpe disease this is, and how well he was even now. I will fetch a Phisition straight, before hee grow too farre into this rage.

Exit.

Enter Senex and Medicus.

Senex

My loines ake with sitting, and ////////////////////////// king, while I staie for yonder laizie /////////////////////////////// the creeping drawlatch comes.

Medicus

What disease hath hee said you? Is it a letarge or a lunacies, or melancholia, or dropsie?

Senex

Wherfore I pray do I bring you, but that you shuld tell me what it is? And cure him of it.

Medicus

Fie, make no question of that, Ile cure him I warrant ye. Oh here he comes, staie, let us marke what he doth.

Enter Menechmus the Citizen.

Menechmus

Never in my life had I more overthwart fortune in one day, and all by the villanie of this false knave the Parasite, my Ulisses that works such //mischiefs against mee his king. But le me live no longer, but ile be revengde uppon the life of him: his life? Nay tis my life, for hee lives by my meate and drinke, Ile utterly withdraw the slaves life from him. And Erotium shee sheweth plainly what she is : who because I require the cloake again to carrie to my wife, saith I gave it her, and flatly falles out with me. How unfortunate am I?

Senex

Do ye heare him?

Medicus

He complaines of his fortune.

Senex

Go to him.

Medicus

Menechmus, how do ye man? why keepe you not your cloake over your arme? It is verie hurtfull to your disease. Keepe ye warme I pray.

Menechmus

Why hang thy selfe, what carest thou.

Medicus

Sir can you smell anie thing?

Menechmus

I smell a prating dolt of thee.

Medicus

Oh I will have your head throughly purged. Pray tell me Menechmus, what use you to drinke? white wine or claret?

Menechmus

What the divell carest thou?

Senex

Looke, his fit now begins.

Menechmus

Why doest not as well aske mee whether I eate bread, or cheese, or //////// or porredge //////////////////eare feathers, or fis///////////// talke he falleth into.

Medicus

Tarry, I will aske him further. Menechmus, tell me, be not your eyes heavie and dull some- times?

Menechmus

What doest thinke I am an Owle?

Medicus

Doo not your guttes gripe ye, and croake in your belly?

Menechmus

When I am hungrie they do, else not.

Medicus

He speakes not like a mad man in that. Sleepe ye soundly all night?

Menechmus

When I have paid my debts I do. The mischiefe light on thee, with all thy friuolous questions.

Medicus

Oh now he rageth upon those words, take heed.

Senex

Oh this is nothing to the rage he was in even now. He called his wife bitch, and all to nought.

Menechmus

Did I?

Senex

Thou didst, mad fellow, and threatenedst to ryde over me here with a Chariot and horses, and to kill mee, and
teare me in peeces. This thou didst, I know what I say.

Menechmus

I say, thou stolest Iupiters Crowne from his head, and thou wert whipt through the Towne for it, and that
thou hast kild thy father, and beaten thy mother. Doo ye thinke I am so mad that I cannot devise as notable lyes of you, as you do of me?

Senex

Maister Doctor, pray heartily make speede to cure him, see ye not how mad he waxeth?

Medicus

Ile tell ye, hee shall be brought over to my house, and there will I cure him.

Senex

Is that best?

Medicus

What else, there I can order him as I list.

Senex

Well, it shall be so.

Medicus

Oh sir, I will make yee take neesing powder this twentie dayes.

Menechmus

Ile beate yee first with a bastanado, this thirtie dayes.

Medicus

Fetch men to carry him to my house.

Senex

How many will serve the turne?

Medicus

Being no madder then hee is now, foure will serve.

Senex

Ile fetch them, staie you with him maister Doctor.

Medicus

No by my faith, Ile foe home to make readie all things neefull. Let your men bring him hither.

Senex

I go.

Exeunt.

Menechmus

Are they both gone? Good Gods what meaneth this? These men say I am mad, who without doubt are mad themselves. I stirre not, I fight no, I am not sicke. I speake to them, I know them. Well what were I now best to do? I would goe home, but my wife shuttes me foorth a doores. Erotium is as farre out with me too. Even here I will rest me till the evening, I hope by that time, they will take pittie on me.

Enter Messenio the Travellers servant.

* The proofe of a good sevant, is to regard his maisters businesse as well in his absence, as in his presence: and I
thinke him a verie foole that is not carefull as well for his ribbes and shoulders, as for his belly and throate. When I think upon the rewards of a sluggard, I am ever pricjed with a carefull regard of my backe and shoulders: for in truth I have no fancie to these blows, as many a one hath : methinks it is no pleasure to a man to be basted with a ropes end two or three houres togither. I have provided yonder in the Towne, for all our marriners, and safely bestowed all my masters Trunkes and fardels: and am now coming to see if he be yet got forth of this daungerous gulfe, where I feare me is over plunged, pray God he be not overwhelmed and and past helpe ere I come.

Enter Senex, with four Lorarij, porters.

Before Gods and me, I charge and commaund you sirs, to execute with great care that which I appoint you: if yee love the safetie of your owne ribbes and shoulders, then goe take me up my sonne in lawe, laie all hands upon him, why stand ye stil? what do ye doubt? I saie, care not for his threatnings, nor for anie of his words. Take him up and bring him to the Phisitions house: I will go thither before.

Exit.

Menechmus

What newes? how now masters? what will ye do with me? why do ye thus beset me? whither carrie ye mee? Helpe, helpe, neighbors, friends, citizens.

Messenio

O Iupiter, what do I see? my maister abused by a companie of varlets.

Menechmus

Is there no good man will helpe me?

Messenio

Helpe ye maister ì? yes the villaines shall have my life before they shall thus wrong ye. Tis more fit I should be kild, then you thus handled. Pull out that rascals eye that holds ye about the necke there. I’le clout these peasants, out ye rogue, let go ye varlet.

Menechmus

I have hold of this vaillaines eie.

Messenio

Pull it out, and let the place appeare in his head. Away ye cutthroat theeves, ye murtherers.

Lorarii Omnes.

O, o, ay, ay, crie pittifullie.

Messenio

Away, get ye hence, ye mongrels, ye dogs. Will ye be gone? Thou raskall behind there, ile give thee somewhat
more, take that. It was time to come maister, you had bene in good case if I had not bene heere now, I tolde you what would come of it.

Menechmus

Now as the gods love me, my good friend I thank thee :thou hast done that for me which I shall never be able to require.

Messenio

I’le tell ye how sir, give me my freedome.

Menechmus

Should I give it thee?

Messenio

Seeing you cannot require my good turne.

Menechmus

Thou art deceived man.

Messenio

Wherein?

Menechmus

On mine honestie, I am none of thy maister // had never yet anie servant would do so much for me.

Messenio

Why then bid me be free: will you?

Menechmus

Yea surelie, be free, for my part.

Messenio

O sweetly spoken, thanks my good maister.

Seruus alius

Messenio, we are all glad of your good for- tune.

Messenio

O maister, ile call ye maister still. I praie use me inanie service as ye did before, ile dwell with you still,& when
ye fo home, ile wait upon you.

Menechmus

Nay, nay, it shall not need.

Messenio

Ile goe straight to the Inne and deliver up my accounts, and all your stuffe: your purse is lockt up safely sea-
led in the casket, as you gave it mee. I will goe fetch it to you.

Menechmus

Do, fetch it.

Messenio

I will.

Menechmus

I was never thus perplext Some deny me to be him that I am, and shut me out of their doores. This fellow faith he is my bondman, and of me he begs his freedome: he will fetch my purse and monie: well if he bring it, I will receive it, and set him free, I would he would so go his way. My old father in law, and the Doctor saie I am mad, who ever sawe such straunge demeanors? well though Erotium be never so angrie, yet once againe ile go see if by intreatie I can get the cloake on her to carrie to my wife.

Exit.

Enter Menechmus the Traveller, and Messenio.

Menechmus

Impudent knave, wilt thou say that I ever saw thee since I sent thee away to day, and bad thee come for mee after dinner?

Messenio

Ye make me starke mad: I tooke ye away and reskued ye from foure great bigboand villaines, that were carrying ye away even heere in this place. Heere they had ye up, you cried, Helpe, helpe, I came running to you, you and I togither beate them away by maine force. Then for my good turne and faithfull service, ye gave mee my freedome: I tolde ye I would go fetch your Casket, now in the mean time you ranne some other way to get before me, and so you denie it all againe.

Menechmus

I gave thee thy freedome?

Messenio

You did.

Menechmus

When I give thee thy freedome, Ile be a bondman my selfe: go thy wayes.

Messenio

Wheew, marry I thank ye for nothing.

Enter Menechmus the Citizen.

Forsworne Queanes, sweare till your hearts ake, and your yes fall out, ye shall never make me beleeve that I carried hence either cloake or chaine.

Messenio

O heavens, maister what do I see?

Menechmus the Traveller

What?

Messenio

Your ghoast.

Menechmus the Traveller

What ghoast?

Messenio

Your Image, as like you as can be possible.

Menechmus the Traveller

Surely not much unlike me as I thinke.

Menechmus the Citizen

O my good friend and helper, well met: thanks for thy late good helpe.

Messenio

Sir, may I crave to know your name?

Menechmus the Citizen

I were too blame if I should not tell thee anie thing, my name is Menechmus.

Menechmus the Traveller

Nay my friend, that is my name.

Menechmus the Citizen

I am of Syracusis in Sicilia.

Menechmus the Traveller

So am I.

Messenio

Are you a Syracusan?

Menechmus the Citizen

I am.

Messenio

O, ho, I know ye: this is my maister, I thought hee there, had bene my maister, and was proffering my service to him, pray pardon me sir, if I sais anything I should not.

Menechmus the Traveller

Why doating patch, didst thou not come with me this morning from the ship?

Messenio

My faith he saies true, this is my maister, you may go looke ye a man: God save ye maister: you sir farewell. This is Menechmus.

Menechmus the Citizen

I say that I am Menechmus.

Messenio

What a iest is this? Are you Menechmus?

Menechmus the Citizen

Even Menechmus the sonne of Moschus.

Menechmus the Traveller

My fathers sonne?

Menechmus the Citizen

Friend, I go about neither to take your father nor your country from you.

Messenio

O immortall Gods, let it fall out as I hope, and for my life these are the two Twinnes, all things afree so iump
togither. I will speake to my maister. Menechmus?

Both

What wilt thou?

Messenio

I call ye not both, but which of you came with me from the ship?

Menechmus the Citizen

Not I.

Menechmus the Traveller

I did.

Messenio

Then I call you. Come hither.

Menechmus the Traveller

Whats the matter?

Messenio

This fame is either some notable cousening Iugler, or else it is your brother whome we seeke. I never sawe one man so like an other, water to water, nor milke to milke, is not liker the he is to you.

Menechmus the Traveller

Indeed I thinke thou saiest true. Finde it that is thy brother and I have promise thee thy freedom.

Messenio

Well, let me about //// Have ue sir, you say your name is Menechmus.

Menechmus the Citizen

I do.

Messenio

So is this mans. You are of Syracusis?

Menechmus the Citizen

True.

Messenio

So is he. Moscus was your father?

Menechmus the Citizen

He was.

Messenio

So was he his. What will you sau, if I find that ye are brothers and twins?

Menechmus the Citizen

I would thinke it happie newes.

Messenio

Nay staie maisters both, I meane to have the honor of this exploit. A//// me your name is Menechmus?

Menechmus the Citizen

Yea.

Messenio

And yours?

Menechmus the Traveller

And mine.

Messenio

You are of Syracusis.

Menechmus the Citizen

I am.

Menechmus the Traveller

And I.

Messenio

Well, this goeth right thus farre. What is the farthest thing that you remember there?

Menechmus the Citizen

How I went with my father to Tarentum, to a freat mart, and there in the preasse I was stolne from him,

Menechmus the Traveller

O Iupiter!

Messenio

Peace, what exclaiming is this? How old were ye then?

Menechmus the Citizen

About seven yeare old, for even then I shedde teeth, and since that time, I never heard of anie of my kindred.

Messenio

Had ye never a brother?

Menechmus the Citizen

Yes, as I remember, I heard them say, we were two twinnes.

Menechmus Tra.

O Fortune!

Messenio

Turn, can ye not be quiet? Were ye both of one name?

Menechmus the Citizen

Nay (as I think) they cald my brother, sosicles.

Menechmus the Traveller

It is he, what need farther proofe? O Brother, brother, let me embrace thee.

Menechmus the Citizen

Sir, if this be true, I am wonderfully glad, but how is it, that ye are called Menechmus?

Menechmus the Traveller

When it was tolde us that you and our father were both dead, our Graundsire (in memorie of my fathers name) chaungde mine to Menechmus.

Menechmus the Citizen

Tis very like he would do so indeed. But let me aske ye one question more, what was our mothers name?

Menechmus the Traveller

Theusimarche.

Menechmus the Citizen

Brother, the most welcome to mee, that the world holdeth.

Menechmus the Traveller

I ioy, and ten thousand ioyes the more, having taken so long travaile and huge paines to seeke you.

Messenio

See now, how all this matter comes about. This it was, that the Gentlewoman had ye in to dinner, thinking it had bene he.

Menechmus the Citizen

True it is, I willed a dinner to be provided for me heere this morning, and I also brought hither closely a cloake of my wives, and gave it to this woman.

Menechmus the Traveller

Is not this the same, brother?

Menechmus the Citizen

How came you by this?

Menechmus the Traveller

This woman met me, had me in to dinner, enterteined me most kindly, and gave me this cloake, and this Chaine.

Menechmus the Citizen

Indeed she tooke ye for mee: and I beleeve I have bene as straungely handled by occason of your comming.

Messenio

You shall have time inough to laugh at all these matters hereafter. Do ye remember maister, what ye promised me?

Menechmus the Citizen

Brother I will intreate you to performe your promise to Messenio, he is worthie of it.

Menechmus the Traveller

I am content.

Messenio

Io Tryumphe.

Menechmus the Traveller

Brother, will ye now go with me to Syracusis?

Menechmus the Citizen

So soone as I can sell away such goods as I possesse here in Epidamnum, I will go with you.

Menechmus the Traveller

Thanks my good Brother!

Menechmus the Citizen

Messenio, plaie thou the Crier for me, and make a proclamation.

Messenio

A fit office. Come on. O yes. What day shall your sale be?

Menechmus the Citizen

This day sennight.

Messenio

All men, women and children, in Epidamnum, or elsewhere, that will repaire to Menechmus house this day senight, shall there finde all maner of things to sell: servaunts, houshold stuffe, house, gronnd, and all : so they bring readie money. Will ye sell your wife too sir?

Menechmus the Citizen

Yea, but I thinke no bodie will bid money for her.

Messenio

Thus Gentlemen we take our leves, and if we have pleasde, we require a Plaudite.

FINIS