EpictetvsManuall. Cebes Table. Theophrastvs Characters. By Io. Healey. London,Printed by George Purlowe for Edward blount. 1616
Tothe Reader.
GentleReader, to be too ſeruile or too licētions, are alike amiße in aTranſlater: for the one oftentimes darkneth the beautie of theworke, there being certaine properties almoſt in euery language,which cannot, word for word, in termes terminant, be expreſſed inanother: And likewiſe to ſwerue too much from the Author, implietha ſecret diſabling, as iſ the Original might be bettered; whichcannot but ſauour of much ſelf-opinion and ſingularity, yet ifthere were a neceſſity to erre in either, I had rather beouer-ſtrict, then any whit too bold: hauing to Precedent, (it werecontumely to ſay leße) that great Magazine or Storehouſe of alllearning M. Caſaubon: who in the tranſlation of this Peece, hathtied himſelfe very preciſely to his Text. From ſo learned a handthe Author can loſe little luſtre, leſſe vigour. Howeuer, bypowring it out of the Latin into the vulgar, the great diſproportionof Languages and abilities conſidered, it cannot but (by myunskilfulneße) it hath taken ſome wind. In this mention it commethoftentimes into my minde to maruaile whence it ſhould be, thatHomer, Theocritus, Plutarch, Heliodorus, with diuers others, are ſolamely done in the Latin (be it ſpoken with the ſupportation ofbetter iudgements) and ſo happily in the French. wee may notchallenge the pouerty of the Latin, the negligence of theTranſlators, (hauing been all very learned) much leße the Latinidiom, as diſobedient or refractiory to the Greek. We ſhould bealmoſt as vaine as Picardus, to aduance the French before the Latin:who maintaineth after his Mountebank impudent faſhion, that theFrench is more ancient & copious then the Greeke; and that theyſpake Greeke in Marſelles before they ſpake it in Athens. TheFrench is elegant enough, paſſably copious, happie in compoſition,and hath many Græcismes, which couch very aptly when they are caldfor; yet in no degree comparable with the learned Languages. Not toabuſe thy leiſure and mine owne, in theſe impertinent things, aslittle in diſputing whether this our Author bee that Theophraſtus,Ariſtotles Scholler, whom Tullie termes his Delicias, or ſomeother, in regard he reporteth himſelfe to be 99. and DiogenesLaertius ſetteth him downe to be but 85. It ſufficeth us that hehath deſerued well of vertue and good manners; hauing very liuelyand ſharpely deſcribed thoſe deformed vices which flouriſhed inhis time, but raigne in ours. The which youthfull freſhnes, in thegoing downe of his ſtrength, when Age had ſnowed upon his head, isas praiſeworthy, as that rare encounter in Petrarch. Penſier canutiin giouenil etade. But becauſe there was neuer any thing rendered ſohappily, as to be both a Text & a Comment: and for that in thisTreatiſe there are many words hard to be underſtood withoutexpoſition, neither can they be well expounded but by ſuch as arewell verſt in Antiquitie, which in theſe times is almoſt arelatiue to ſuperſtition, yet for the caſe of ſo preiudicateReaders, that they may haue a cleare paſſage, the hardeſt wordesare made intelligible: As firſt to begin with Dionyſia, mentionedin the Chapter of Garrulitie: (That the Seas, after the DionyſianFeaſts, will become very ſmooth) The Athenians did celebrate manyFeaſts called Dionyſia or Liberalia, which were kept, the Springapproaching, in the Cittie, in Autumne, in the fields: And theſewere preparatiues to thoſe more ſolemne Bacchanals or Carniuals.Wherefore the Greekes, when they mention Dionyſia alone, they meanethoſe which were celebrated in the Spring, as Theophraſtus in thepaſſage on this place. for in Winter, the Seas were lockt up: andin the Spring they began to open: in Winter utterly unnauigable, asappeareth by Horace, Vigetius, and others. Myſteria, Likewisementioned in the ſame chapter, were Ceremonies celebrated by night:And there was a kind of emulation amongſt them that did celebrate,who ſhould ſet up the greateſt lights or taper, as there ismention here of Damippus. Odeum, likewise mentioned in the ſameChapter of Garrulitie, as Plutarch reporteth in Pericles, was aplace, whither Muſitions and other ſuch like did reſort to delighttheir Auditors and Spectators and this principally was uſed beforethe building of the Theater. Their corne was wont to be ſold there:and in time of dearth, it was giuen and diſtributed to the poore:where all controuerſies belonging to Corne and Victuall were debatedand decided. Of the Redeemers of the Theaters mentioned in theChapter of Ribaldrie; theſe Redeemers (ſo tearmed) were ſuch asdid hire ſcaffolds, or Stages, inſtantly to be made. Demoſthenescalles them plaine Carpenters. Thoſe of the poorer ſort did receiue(man by man) money out of the common treaſurie to buy themſeluesplaces to ſee. Hence is ſo frequent mention in the Greek Orators,of mony appointed for the Theater. At the latter end of the Playes,theſe ſame redeemers of the Theaters ſuffered all to come in (Cutand long tayle as wee ſay) freely without paying. They which didſacrifice, commonly did feaſt, or (if they did not) ſent part oftheir ſacrifice to their friends. It was the manner of theAthenians, that if they were to ſell any thing, they uſed the helpeof ſome to finde them out Cuſtomers, Theſe are commonly termedBrokers with us. When the thing is ſolde, hee brings Cuſtomers toſee it; as it is in the Chapter of Vnſeaſonableneſſe. Of thisplace is properly to bee underſtood that of Plato in the twelfthbooke of his Lawes; in theſe words: Let him bee a ſurety orvndertaker, which ſelleth another mans commoditie: And let him beehis warrantiſe, iſ the ſeller ſell that, the propertie whereofis not in himſelfe. Therefore, he is as lyable to make good theeuiction, who ſelleth for another, as he in whom the property ofpoſſeſſion is. The Philoſopher ruleth thus: That ſuch a Broker,Factor, Agent, or atturnie, ſhall bee taken as an abſolute ſurety:ſo as if the thing bought bee euicted from the buyer, by reaſon theſeller his poſſeſsion was not good, recouer, as of the owner,whoſe he ſayd the goods were when he ſold them. This is Plato’sopinion. And in Rome, as Vlpian reporteth, when they ſold any thing,they gaue a Surety. whom they termed commonly, A ſecond warrantiſe.Hee eaſily vndertaketh what hee is not able to performe, as it is inthe Chapter of Ouer-officiouſneſſe. This proceedeth not out of anatural bountie; but out of a ruſticity, or weakeneſſe rather,either unwilling to diſcouer their owne want, or not knowing howhandſomely to deny: according to that of Seneca. Multos, inquit,liberales facit frontis imbecilitas. A ruſticity, or fooliſhbaſhfulneſſe, hath made many liberall againſt their will. In theChapter of Stupidity, Theophraſtus maketh the blockiſh fellow,rather to labour of want of memory, then wit, ſayth a Cauiller. Itwas likewiſe want of memory in the fellow, who riding upon an Aſſe,cryed out that he miſſed an Aſſe; mißing the Aſſe he rodevpon: hauing one too many by himſelfe. Thyriacall viols or bottles,in the Chap. of Smoothneſſe. Thyrium is a Towne in Acarnania, asStephanus reporteth, whereof there is much mention in Polybius. Itmay be ſome excellent clay: the grace whereof ſhould ſeeme to beeof a round Sphæricall forme. There were alſo of the ſame forme,made of leather. There were ſome (likewiſe) made of wood, whichwere called Samia. The holy gate in Athens, in the Chapter ofBlockiſhneſſe. It’s doubted whether there was a gate, by whichthe dead were carried out. For in many Cities of the Romans, it wasnot lawfull to bury within the City. There was agate, through thewhich the condemned were to paſſe to execution in other Cities ofGreece. Plutarch witneſſeth, That there was Porta ſcelerata, acurſed gate. The manner was to execute Offenders without thePomæria. Pomærium is a certaine ſpace about the walls of the Cityor Towne, as well within as without, where ‘tis not lawfull toplough, build houſes, or inhabite, for feare of hurting the defencesof the Towne; termed the territorie, or exemption. Extra portam ire,in Plautus. Vis ſine febre mori? wil you dye without an Ague? inMartiall, alike Prouerbiall. Aqua lustralis, in the Chapter ofSuperſtition. Their holy water wherewith they were ſprinkled, wasafter this faſhion. Firſt before at the gates of the Temple ſtooda great water-pot like a Diers fat, or Chaldron, wherein was dipped afire-brand, taken from the Altar when the ſacrifice was burned: andwith that, al which entred the Temple did beſprinkle themſelues, orwere bedewed by the Prieſt. Nor only in their houſes, but at theentrance into their Market places they had them. it was likewiſe thefaſhion, that in priuate houſes, until the body was carryed out toburying, there was likewiſe a great veſſell full of holy-water,with which all going out of the houſe did beſprinkle themſelues,all that were inuited to the funerall. Orpheruliſts in the ſameChapter. Orpheus brought a kinde of Ceremonies into Greece. Theywhich taught them were termed Orpheotiliſts. Toward the end of euerymoneth, the Athenians were (as it were) initiate or matriculated intotheſe orders. They were perſwaded that they that were free orentred into theſe myſteries, ſhould enjoy great honour in hell.That hee might cut his haire, in the Chapter of Baſtard Ambition.Young youth wore their hayre long, till they were fifteene orſixteene yeares of age; then their Parents brought them forth to cutit: and promiſcuouſly the Greekes and the Romans did vowe, orconſecrate their firſt hair to some god or goddeſſe: and as theydid preſerue it in honor of them, ſo they did cut it off, and leaneit in their Temples: whereof there is teſtimony in Pindarus,Æſchylus, Feſtus, and others. And they did conſecrate it toHercules, or ſome other god, whoſe Temples they had in theirCities. Thus the vulgar did. But they which would bee in an higherſtraine, by an ancient decree or cuſtome of the Athenians (whereofPlutark makes mention in
Theſeus)conſecrated their haire to Apollo: and when the time was come, thefathers brought their ſonnes to Delphos, there to leaue their haire.A Melitæan Plant, in the ſame Chapter: whether theſe littleMelitæan diminutiue dogge. came from the iland in the Affricke Sea,or that other in the Sicilian, it matters not much. The Prytanæiwere officers, which in the needfull diſtreſſed times of theCommonwealth aſſembled the people together, ſhewed the wants andneceßities of their ſtate, did perſwade and excite them toliberall ſupplies and contributions. Then euery one roſe up,according to his ranke and place; and if hee had any intention tocontribute, hee made it publikely knowne; if otherwiſe, he ſtoleſecretly, as may appeare by this place. Poſidion was the laſtAutumnall Moneth in the Attick yeere, anſwering to our Moneth ofSeptember, or Ianuary.
TheophrastiCharacteres Ethicæ.Theophrastus his Morall Characters: orDescription of Maners.
Oftentimesheretofore cōſidering of this buſineſſe with good attention, Idid much wonder whence it ſhould be that all Greece beeing of climeand temperature of aire, and Grecians in generall bred and trained vpafter one faſhion, ſhould notwithſtanding in manners &behaviour bee ſo different and vnlike. I therefore, O Policles,hauing a long time obſerued the diuers diſpoſitions of men, hauingnow liued 99. yeares, hauing converſed with all ſorts of naturesbad and good, and comparing them togither: I took it my part to ſetdown in this diſcourſe their ſeueral faſhions and maners of life.For I am of opinion, my Policles, that our children will proue thehoneſter and better conditioned, if we ſhall leaue them goodprecedents of imitation: that of good children they may proue bettermen. But now to the purpoſe: It ſhall bee your endeuour to attendand examine what I ſay. Therefore not to ouer-preface to that whichmuſt be ſayd; I will begin with thoſe which delight in cauilling.And firſt I will define the vice it ſelf. Then I will deſcribe theCauiller by his faſhion and maners; afterwards, I will generally ſetdowne other affections of the minde.
1.Cauilling
Cauillingor cauillation (if wee ſhould define it rudely) is a wreſting ofactions and words to the worſe or ſadder part. A cauiller is he,who will entertaine his enemies with a pretence of loue; whoapplaudeth thoſe publikely, whom ſecretly he ſeeketh to ſupplant.If any man traduce or depraue him, hee eaſily pardoneth him withoutany expoſtulation. Hee paſſeth by ieſts broken vpon him, and isvery affable with thoſe, which chalenge him of any iniury by him tothē done. Thoſe which deſire haſtily to ſpeak with him, hegiueth them a Come-againe. Whatſoeuer he doth, he hideth; and ismuch in deliberation. To thoſe which would borrow money of him, hisanſwere is ’tis a dead time; I ſell nothing. And when he ſellethlittle, then hee braggeth of much. When hee heareth any thing, he wilmake ſhew not to obſerue it: Hee will deny hee hath ſeene what heeſawe. If hee bargaine for any thing in his owne wrong, he will notremember it. Some things he will conſider of: ſome things he wilconſider of: ſome things he knowes not; others hee wonders at.Theſe words are very vſuall with him, I do not belieue it; I thinkenot ſo, I wonder at it; of ſome of theſe I was ſo perſwadedbefore. He will tell you, you miſtake him for another: he had noſuch ſpeech with me. This is beyond beleefe: finde out ſome othereare for your ſtories. Shall I beleeue you, or diſable his credite?But take you heede how you giue credite to theſe received ſayings,veiled & infolded with ſo many windings of diſſimulation. Menof theſe maners are to bee ſhunned more then Vipers.
OfFlatterie.
Flatteriemay be ſayd to be a foule deformed cuſtom in common life, makingfor the aduantage of the flatterer. A flatterer is ſuch a one, as ifhee walke or conuerſe with you, will thus ſay vnto you: Do youobſerue, how all mens eyes are vpon you? I haue not noted any inthis Towne, to be ſo much beheld. Yeſterday in the Gallerie you hadreaſon to be proud of your reputation. For there being at that timeaſſembled more then 30. perſons, and queſtion being made whichſhould be the worthie Citizen; the company being very impatient itſhould be diſputed, concluded all vpon you. Theſe and ſuch likehe putteth vpon him. If there be the leaſt moat vpon his clothes, orif there be none, hee maketh a ſhew to take it off: or if any ſmallſtraw or feather bee gotten into his locks, the Flatterer taketh itaway; and ſmiling ſaith, you are growne gray within theſe fewdayes for want of my companie, and yet your haire is naturally asblack as any man of your yeares. If he reply, the Flattererproclaimeth ſilence, praiſeth him palpably and profuſely to hisface. When he hath ſpoken, he breaketh out into an exclamation, withan O well ſpoken! And if hee breake a ieſt vpon any, the Flattererlaughes as if hee were tickled; muffling himſelfe in his cloake, asif hee could not poſſibly forbeare. As he meeteth any, he plaieththe Gentleman-vſher, praying them to giue way; as if his Patron werea very great perſon. Hee buyes peares and apples, & beares themhome to his children, and giues them (for the moſt part) in hispreſence: and kiſſing them, crieth out, O the worthie Fathersliuely picture! If he buy a ſhoo, if he be preſent, hee ſweareshis ſoot is far handſomer, and that the ſhoo miſ-ſhapes it. Ifat any time he repaire to viſit a friend, the Flatterer plaies theHerbinger; runs before, & aduertiſeth them of his comming: andſpeedily returning backe againe, telleth him that he hath giuen themnotice thereof. Whatſoeuer belongeth to the womens Academie, aspaintings, preſeruings, needle-workes, and ſuch like; hediſcourſeth of them like my Ladies woman. Of all the gheſts, hefirſt commends the wine, and alwaies ſitting by his Ingle, courtshim; asking him how ſparingly he feeds, and how he bridles it: andtaking ſome ſpeciall diſh from the Table, taketh occaſion tocommend it. Hee is buſie and full of queſtions; whether this man benot cold; why hee goes ſo thinne; and why hee will not go bettercloth’d? Then hee whiſpers in his Patrons eare: and, while othersſpeak, his eye is ſtill vpon him. At the Theater, taking thecuſhions from the boy, he ſetteth them vp himſelfe: hee commendeththe ſituation and building of the houſe; the well tilling andhuſbanding of the ground. In concluſion, you ſhall alwayes note aflatterer to ſpeak and doe, what he preſumeth will be moſtpleaſing and agreeable.
3.Of Garrulitie.
Garrulityis a ſlippery looſeneſſe, or a babling of a long inconſiderateſpeech. A Pratler or Babler is ſuch an one, that vnreaſonablyſetting vpon any ſtranger, will commend his wife vnto him; or tellhis laſt nights dreames, or what meates, or how many diſhes he hadat ſuch a feast: and when you liſten him, or what he growes alittle encouraged with your attention, he will complaine, thatmoderne men are worſe then thoſe of elder times: that corne is toocheape, as rents are now improu’d: that there are too manyſtrangers dwelling in the Towne: That the Seas, after the Dionysianfeaſts, will be more ſmooth, and obedient to the Saylors: and thatif there fall good ſtore of raine, there will be greater plenty ofthoſe things, which yet are lockt vp in the bowels of the earth: andthe next yeare he will till his ground: That’tis a hard world: andthat men haue much ado to liue. And that when the holy Ceremonieswere celebrated, Damippus ſet vp the greateſt light: inquirethfurther, how many columnes are in the Odeus: and yeſterday, heeſayth, I was wamble-cropt, and (ſauing your preſence) parbrak't:And what day of the moneth is this? But if any man lend himattention, he ſhall neuer be cleare of him. Hee will tell you; Thatthe myſteries, Menſe Boedromione, Apaturia, Pyanepſione,Poſſidione, the Dionyſia, which now are, were wont to becelebrated. Theſe kind of men are to be ſhunned, with great warinesand ſpeed, as a man would preuent or out-run an Ague. For ’tis amiſerable condition, to continue long with thoſe which cannotdiſtinguiſh the ſeaſons of buſineſſe and leiſure.
4.Of Ruſticitie or Clowniſhneſſe.
Ruſticitiemay ſeeme to be an ignorance of honeſty and comelineſſe. A Clowneor rude fellow is he, who will goe into a crowd or preſſe, when hehath taken a purge: And hee that ſayth, that Garlicke is as ſweetas a gilliflower: that weares ſhooes much larger then his foot: thatſpeaks alwais very loud: who diſtruſting his friends &familiars, in ſerious affairs aduiſeth with his ſeruants: who, thethings which hee heard in the Senate, imparteth to his mercinaries,who do his drudgery in the coūtry: one that ſitteth ſo with hishoſe drawn vp at his knee as you may ſee his skin. Vpō the way,whatſoever ſtrange accident he encountreth, he wondreth at nothing.But if he ſee an oxe, an aſſe or a goate, then the man is at aſtand, and begins to look about him: proud when hee can rob thecupbord or the Celler, and then ſnap vp a ſcrap; very carefull,that the wench that makes the bread take him not napping. He grinds,caters, drudges, purueighs, & plaies che Shutler, for all thingsbelonging to a houſe-prouiſion. When he is at dinner, he caſtsmeat to his beaſts: if any body knocke at the dore, he liſtens likea Cat for a mouſe. Calling his dog to him, & taking him by theſnout: This fellow, ſaith he, keeps my ground, my houſe, & althat is in it. If he receiue money, he reiects it as light; anddeſireth to haue it changed. If he haue lent his plough, his ſythe,or his ſacke; hee ſends for them again at midnight, if he chance tothinke of them in his ſleepe. Comming into the Citie, whomſoeuer hemeeteth, he asketh the price of hides and ſaltfiſh, and whetherthere bee any playes this new moone: and ſo ſoone as hee dothalight, he tels them all, that, hee will be trimmed: And this fellowſtill ſings in the Bath; and clowts his ſhooes with hob-nayles.And becauſe it was the ſame way to receiue his ſalt meates fromArchia, it was his faſhion to carry it himſelfe.
5.Of faire ſpeech or ſmoothneſſe.
Smoothneſſe,or fawning, if we ſhould define it, is an encounter containing manyallurements to pleaſure; and thoſe (for the moſt part) not morehoneſt then they ſhuld be. But a Sleeke-ſtone or Smooth-boot (aswe terme him) is hee, that ſaluteth a man as farre off, as his eyecan carry leuell; ſtileth him Moſt worthie; admireth his fortune;and taking him by both the hands, detaineth him, not ſuffering himto paſſe. But hauing a while accōpanied him, is very inquiſitiuewhen hee ſhall ſee him againe; embroidering and painting out hispraiſe. The ſame being choſen an Arbitrator, endeuoureth not onlyto cōtent him on whose behalfe he is choſen, but the aduerſe partlikewiſe, that ſo he may be held an indifferēt friend to themboth. He maintaineth, that ſtrangers ſpeake wiſer & iuſterthings than his own fellow-Citizens. Being inuited to a feaſt, heentreateth the maſter of the entertainment to ſend in for hischildren: and when they are come, he ſweares they reſemble their father, as neere as one figge doth another. Then calling thē to him,he kiſſeth them, and ſetteth them by him: and ieſting with othersof the company; ſaith he, Compare them with the father, they are aslike him, as an apple is like an oyſter. Hee will ſuffer othersſleeping to reſt in his boſom, when he is loden with a ſoreburden. Hee trimmeth himſelfe often: he keepeth his teeth cleane andwhite: changeth and Turkizeth his cloathes. His walk is cōmonly inthat part, where the Goldſmiths & Bankers tables are: &vſeth thoſe places of actiuity where young youths do exerciſethéſelues. At ſhewes and in the Theaters, hee placeth himſelfenext the Pretors; but in the Courts of Iuſtice he ſeldom appeares.But he buyes preſents, to ſend to his friend at Byzantium. Littledogges, and Hymæſian hony hee ſends to Rhodes: and he tels hisfellow-Citizens that hee doth theſe things. Beſides, he keepes anApe at home; buyes a Satyre, and Sicilian Doues; and boxes ofTreacle, of thoſe which are of a round forme; and ſlaues, thoſethat are ſomwhat bending and oblique, brought from Lacedæmon; andTapiſtrie, wherein the Perſians are wouen and ſet out. He hath alittle yard, grauelled, fit for wreſtling; and a Tennis Court. Andtheſe parts of his houſe, his maner is to offer or preſent vntoany he meets, whether Philoſopher, or Sophiſter, or thoſe whichexerciſe thēſelues in Armes, or Muſicke, that there may vſetheir cunning: which while they doe, he ſpeaking toone of thelookers on, as if he were but a meere ſpectator himſelfe, ſaith: Ipray you whoſe wreſtling place is this?
6.Of Senſeleſneſſe, or, Deſperate boldneſſe.
Senſeleſneſſeis that, wherby a man dareth both ſpeak and doe againſt the lawesand rules of honeſty. The man is he, which readily (or raſhly)takes an oath; who is careleſſe of his reputation; reckon little,to bee raild vpon; is of the garbe or diſpoſition of a craftyImpoſtor; a lwed dirty fellow, daring to doe any thing but that isfit. Hee is not aſhamed, being ſober, in coole bloud, to danceCountry dances and Matachines, as a Zanie or Pantalon; and when theIuggelers ſhewe their trickes, to goe to euery ſpectator and beghis offering: And if any man bring a tokē would pay nothing, then towrāgle & brabble extremely; fit to keep an Alehouſe, or anInne: to be a Pandar or a Tole-gatherer, a fellow that wil forbeareno foule or baſe courſe: He will be a cōmon Crier, a Cook, adicer; he denies his mother food. Being cōuicted of theft, he ſhallbe drawn & halted by head and ſhoulders; he ſhal dwel lōger inpriſon, then in his own houſe. This is one of thoſe, which euer &anon haue a throng about thē, calling to them al they meet, to whomthey ſpeak in a great broken Tone, rayling on thē. And thus theycome and goe, before they vnderſtand what the matter is: whileſthee telleth ſome the beginning; ſome ſcantly a word; others hetelleth ſome little part of the whole; affecting to publiſh andprotect his damnable diſpoſition. Hee is full of fruites andactions; both ſuch as hee ſuggeſteth againſt others; and ſuch asare framed againſt him. He is a common maker of Affidauit for othermens abſence. Hee ſuborneth actions agaiſt himſelfe: In hisboſome he bears a boxe, and in his hand a bundle of papers. And ſuchis his impudence, hee giues himſelfe out to bee Generall of thePetti-foggers & knights of the Poſt. Hee puts out money to vſe:and for a groat, takes dayly 3. three-farthings. Hee goes oftentimesinto the Fiſh-market, Tauerns, Cookes ſhops, and Shambles: and themoney that he gets by his brocage, he commonly hides in his mouth.Theſe men are very hard to be indured: their tongues are traded indetraction: and when they raile, they doe it in ſuch a ſtormie andtempeſtuous faſhion, as all Courts and Tauerns are peſterd withtheir clamors.
7.Of Loquacitie or Ouerſpeaking.
Loquacitieis a looſeneſſe or intemperance of ſpeech. A pratling fellow ishe, who ſaith to him with whom hee diſcourſeth, whatſoeuer heebeginneth to ſay, anticipates him; That hee knoweth all alreadie,and that the other ſaith nothing to purpoſe; and, that if he willapply himſelfe to him, hee ſhall underſtand ſomewhat: Theninterrupting him, Take heed, ſaith he, that you forget not that youwould ſay, & c. You doe well that you haue cald it to minde. &c. How neceſſarie and uſefull a thing confidence is! There’sſomething that I haue omitted now, &c. You apprehend it ueryreadily, &c. I did expect that we ſhould thus iump together, &c.And ſeeking the like occaſions of pratling and verboſity,permitteth them no truce nor breathing time with whom he diſcourſeth.And when he hath killed theſe, then he aſſaulteth freſh men introopes, when they are many aſſembled together. And thoſe, beingſeriouſly imployed, hee wearies, tires, and puts to flight. Comminginto Playes, & wreſtling places, hee keepeth the boyes fromlearning; pratling with their Maſters: and if any offer to goe away,hee followeth them to their houſes. If any thing done publikely beknowne to him, he will report as priuate. Then he will tell you ofthe warre, when Ariſtophanes that noble Orator liued: or he willtell you a long tedious tale of that battaile which was fought by theLacedaemonians vnder Lyſander their Generall: and, if euer he ſpakewell publikely himſelfe, that muſt come in too. And thus ſpeaking,he inueigheth againſt the giddy multitude; and that ſo lamely, andwith ſuch torment to the hearers; as that one deſireth the art ofobliuion; an other ſleeps; a third giues him ouer in the plainefield. In concluſion, whether he ſit in iudgement (except hee ſitalone) or iſ he behold any ſports, or if he ſit at a table; hevexeth his Pew-fellow with his vile, impertinent, importunateprattle: for it is a hell to him to be ſilent. A ſecret in hisbreſt, is a cole in his mouth. A Swallow in a chimney makes not ſucha noiſe. And, ſo his humour be aduanced, he’s contented to beflouted by his very boyes, which ieare him to his face; entreatinghim, when they goe to bed, to talke them aſleepe.
8.Of Newes-ſorging, or Rumor-ſpreading.
Fame-ſpreading,is a deuiſing of deeds and words at the fancy or pleaſure of theInuenter. A Newes-monger is he, who meeting with his acquaintance,changing his countenance and ſmiling, asketh whence come you now?How go the rules now? Is there any newes ſtirring? and ſtillſpurring him with queſtions, tels him there are excellent and happyoccurrents abroad. Then, before he anſwereth, by way of preuentionasketh, haue you nothing in ſtore? why then I will feaſt you withmy choiceſt intelligence. Then hath hee at hand ſome caſtCaptaine, or caſſierd Souldier, or ſome Fifes boy lately come fromwar, of whom hee hath heard ſome very ſtrange ſtuffe, I warrantyou: alwaies producing ſuch authors as no man can controle. He willtell him, hee heard that Polyſpherchon and the King diſcomfited andoverthrew his enemies, and that Caſſander was taken priſoner. Butif any man ſay vnto him, Doe you beleeue this? Yes marry doe Ibeleeue it, replyeth he: for it is bruted all the Towne ouer by agenerall voice. The rumor ſpreadeth, all generally agree in thisreport of the warre; and that there was an exceeding great ouerthrow.And this hee gathereth by the very countenance and cariage of theſegreat men which ſit at the ſterne: Then he proceedeth and tells youfurther, That hee heard by one which came lately out of Macedonia,who was preſent at all which paſſed, that now theſe fiue dayeshee hath bin kept cloſe by them. Then he falleth to termes ofcommiſeration. Alas, good, but vnfortunate Caßander! O carefulldeſolate man! This can misfortune doe. Caßander was a verypowerfull man in his time, and of a very great commaund: but I wouldentreat you to keep this to your ſelfe; and yet he runneth to eueryone to tell them of it. I do much wonder what pleaſure men ſhuldtake in deuiſing and diſperſing thoſe rumours. The which things,that I mention not the baſeneſſe and deformity of a lye, turnethem to many inconueniences. For, it fals out oftentimes, that whiletheſe, Moūtebank-like, draw much company about them, in the Bathsand ſuch like places, ſome good Rogues ſteale away their clothes:others, ſitting in a porch or a gallery, while they ouercome in aſea, or a land-fight, are fined for not appearance. Others, whilewith their words they valiantly take Cities, looſe their ſuppers.These men lead a very miſerable & wretched life. For whatGallery is there, what ſhop, wherein they waſte not whole dayes,with the penance of thoſe, whoſe eares they ſet on the Pilloriewhich their tedious unioynted tales?
9.Of Impudencie.
Impudēcemay be defined A neglect of reputation for dirty Lucres ſake. Animpudent man is he, who will not ſtick to attempt to borrow mony ofhim, whom he hath already deceiued; or from whom he fraudulentlyſomwhat detaineth. When he ſacrificeth, and hath ſeaſon’d itwith ſalt, layeth it vp and ſuppeth abroad: and calling his Page orLacquy, cauſing him to take vp the ſcrappes, in euery mans hearingſaith: You honeſt man, fall to, I pray you, doe not ſpare. When hebuyeth any meat hee willeth the Butcher to bethinke himſelfe if inought he were beholding vnto him. Then ſitting by the skales, if hecan he will throw in ſome bit of fleſh, or (rather then faile) ſomebone into the skales: the which if he can ſlily take away againe, hethinkes he hath done an excellēt peece of ſeruice; if not, then heewill ſteale ſome ſcrap from a table, and laughing ſneake away. Ifany Strangers which lodge with him, deſire to ſee a play in theTheater, hee beſpeaketh a place for them; and vnder their expenceintrudeth himſelfe, his children & their pedant. And if hee meetany man which hath bought ſome ſmall commodities, he beggeth partof thē of him. And whē he goeth to any neighbours houſe, to borrowſalt, barly, meale, or any the like: ſuch is his impudence heeenforceth them to bring any thing, ſo borrowed, home to his houſe.Likewiſe in the Bathes, cōming to the pans and kettles after hehath fild the bucket, waſheth himſelf; not without the ſtormes, &clamors of him that keepeth the Bath: and when he hath done, ſaith Iam bathed: And turning to the Bather or Bath-keeper, ſaith, Sir, nowI thanke you for nothing.
10.Of baſe Auarice or Parſimonie.
Baſeor ſordid Parſimony, is a deſire to ſaue or ſpare expencewithout meaſure of diſcretion. Baſely parſimonious he is, whobeing with his feaſt-companions doth exact and ſtand vpon afarthing as ſtrictly, as if it were a quarters rent of his houſe;and telleth how many drinking cups are taken out, as if he wereiealous of ſome Legier-demaine; one of all the company: thatoffereth the leaneſt ſacrifice to Diana. Now what expence ſoeverhe is at, he proclaimeth and aggrauateth it, as a great diſburſement.If any of his ſeruants breake but a pitcher, or an earthen pot, hedefalketh it out of their wages. If his wife looſe but a Treuet, theBeacons are on fire: hee will toſſe, turmoile, and ranſacke euerycorner in the houſe; beds, bedſteds, nothing muſt be ſpar’d: Heſelleth at ſuch rates, that no man can do good vpon it. No man mayborrow any thing of him; ſcantly light a ſtick of fire, for feareof ſetting his houſe on fire, not part with ſo much as a rottenfig, or a withered Oliue. Euery day he ſurueighs his grounds &the buttals therof, leſt there be any incroaching, or any thingremou’d. If any debtor miſſe his day but a minute, hee is ſureto pay ſoundly for forbearāce; beſides vſurie vpon vſury, if hecontinue it. If he inuite any, he entertaines them ſo as they riſehungry: and when hee goes abroad, if hee can ſcape ſcotfree, heecomes faſting home. Hee chargeth his wiſe, that ſhee lend out noſalt, oyle, meale, or the like: for you little thinke, ſaith he,what theſe come to in a yeare. In a word, you ſhall ſee theirCheſts moldie, their keyes ruſtie for themſelues, their habit anddiet is alwaies too little for them and out of faſhion. Smalltroughes wherein they annoint themſelues: their heads ſhauen, toſaue barbing: their ſhoos they put off at noone dayes, to ſauewearing: they deale with the Fullers, when they make cleane theirclothes, to put in good ſtore of Fullers earth, to keepe them fromſoile and ſpotting.
11.Of Obſcœnity, or Ribaldry.
Impurityor beaſtlineſſe is not hard to be defined. It is a licentious lewdieſt. He is impure or flagitious, who meeting with modeſt women,ſheweth that which taketh his name of ſhame or ſecrecy. Being at aPlay in the Theatre, when all are attentiuely ſilent, he in a croſſeconceit applaudes, or claps his hands: and when the Spectators areexceedingly pleaſed, he hiſſeth: and whē all the company is veryattentiue in hearing and beholding: he lying along, belcheth orbreaketh wind, as if Aeolus were: buſtling in his Caue; forcing theSpectators to looke another way: and when the Hall or Stage isfulleſt of company, comming to thoſe which ſel nuts and apples,and other fruits ſtanding by them, taketh them away and muncheththem; and wrangleth about their price, & ſuch like baubles. Heewill call to him a ſtranger hee neuer ſaw before; and ſtay onewhom hee ſeeth in great haſte. If he heare of a man that hath loſta great ſute, and is condemn’d in great charges, as he paſſethout of the Hall, commeth vnto him, and gratulateth, and biddeth Godgiue him ioy. And when he hath bought meat, and hired Muſicions, heeſheweth it to all he meeteth and inuites them to it. And being at aBarbars ſhop, or an anointing place, hee telleth the companie thatthat night he is abſolutely reſolued to drinke drunke. Iſ he keepa Tauerne, he wil giue his beſt friend his baptiſed wine, to keepethem in the right way. At playes, when they are moſt worthy theſeeing, hee ſuffereth not his childrē to go to them. Then heſendeth them, when they are to bee ſeene for nothing, for theredeemers of the Theaters. When an Ambaſſador goes abroad, leauingat home his victuail which was publikely giuen him, he beggeth moreof his Camerado’s. His manner is to lode his man, which iournieswith him, with Clokebagges and carriages, like a Porter; but takethan order that his belly bee light enough. When he anoints himſelfe,he complaines the oyle is ranke; and anoints himſelfe with thatwhich he paies not for. If a boy finde a braſſe peece or a counter,hee cries halte part. Theſe likewiſe are his. If hee buy anything,he buyes it by the Phædonian meaſure, but hee meaſureth miſerablyto his ſeruants; ſhauing, and pinching them to a graine. If he beto pay 30. pound hee will be ſure it ſhal want 3. groats. When hefeaſteth any of his Allies; his boies that attend, are fed out ofthe common: and iſ there ſcape away but halfe a raddiſh, or anyfragment, hee notes it, leſt the boyes that wait, meete with it.
12.Of Vnſeaſonableneſſe or Ignorance of due conuenient times.
Vnſeaſonnableneſſeis a troubleſome bourding and aſſaulting of thoſe, with whom wehaue to doe. An vnſeaſonable fellow is hee, who comming to hisfriend when hee is very buſie, interrupts him, and obtrudes his owneaffaires to be deliberated and debated: or commeth a goſſiping tohis Sweet-heart, when ſhee is ſick of an ague. His maner islikewiſe, to intreate him to ſolicit or interced for him, who isalready condemn’d for ſuretiſhip. Hee ſelleth his horſe to buyhay: produceth his witneſſes, when iudgemēt is giuen: inueighethagainſt women, when he is inuited to a marriage. Thoſe that arevery wearie with a long iourney, hee inuites to walke. Oftentimes,riſing out of the middeſt of many, which ſit about him, as if hewould recount ſome ſtrange accident, tells them for newes an oldetedious tale, which they all knew to be triuiall before: He is veryforward to vndertake thoſe things, which men are vnwilling to do, orin modeſty refuſe. Thoſe which ſacrifice & feaſt he makesgreat loue to, hoping to get a ſnatch. If a man beat his ſeruant inhis preſence, he will tell him that he had a boy that hee once beatafter that faſhion, who hanged himſelfe preſently after. If he bechoſen Arbitrator betwixt two at difference, which deſire earneſtlyto be accorded, hee ſets them out further then euer they werebefore.
13.Of impertinent diligence, or Ouer-officiouſneſſe.
Thatwhich wee terme a fooliſh ſedulitie or officiouſneſſe, in acounterfeiting of our words and actions with a ſhew or oſtentationof loue. The manners of ſuch men are theſe. He vainely vndertakethwhat hee is not able to performe. A matter generally confeſt to beius he will with many wordes, inſiſting vpon ſome one particular,maintaine: that it cannot be argued. He cauſeth the boy or waiter,to mingle more wine by much then all the gheſts can drink. Heevrgeth thoſe further, who are already together by the eares. He willlead you the way he knowes not himſelfe: loſing himſelfe, and himwhom he vndertaketh to conduct. And comming to a Generall, or a manof great name in Armes, demandeth when hee will ſet a battaile; andwhat ſeruice hee will command him the next day after to morrow. Andcomming to his father, he telleth him that now his mother is aſleepein her chamber. And when the Phyſician hath forbidden his Patientthe vſe of wine: this fellow perſwades him not ſo much to inthrallhimſelfe to his Phyſicians directions; but put his conſtitution toit a little. If his wife chance to dye, he will write vpon her tombethe name of Husband, Father, Mother, and her Country: adding thisInſcription, Al theſe people were of very honeſt life andreputation. And if he be vrged to take his oath, turning himſelfe tothe circumſtant multitude: what neede I ſweare now, hauing ſworneoftentimes heretofore?
14.Of Blockiſhneſſe, Dulneſſe, or Stupiditie.
Youmay define blockiſhneſſe, to bee adulneſſe or ſlowneſſe ofthe mind; whether there bee queſtion to ſpeake or doe. A. blockiſhfellow is hee, who after hee hath caſt vp an account, aſketh himwho ſtands next him what the ſumme was: or one, who hauing a cauſeto be heard vpon a peremptory day, forgets himſelfe, and goes intothe Country: and ſitting in the Theater, falls aſleepe; and whenall are gone, is there left alone. The ſame, when hee hathouergorg’d himſelfe, riſing in the night to make roome for moremeat, ſtumbleth vpon his neighbours dogge, and is all to bewearied.The ſame, hauing laid vp ſomewhat very carefully, when he lookesfor it cannot finde it. When he heareth that ſome friend of his isdead, & that hee is intreated to the Funerall, looking ſowerly,and wringing out a teare or two, ſayth; Much good may't do him. Whenhee receiueth money, he cals for witneſſes: and winter growing on,hee quarrels with his man becauſe hee bought him no Cucummers. Whenhe is in the Country, hee ſeeths Lentiles himſelfe: and ſoouer-ſalts them, that they cannot be eaten. And when it rayneth; Howpleaſant, ſaith he, is this Star-water? Being asked how many peoplewere carried out by the holy gate: How many, ſayth he? I would youand I had ſo many.
15.Of Stubbornneſſe, Obſtinacie or Fierceneſſe.
Contumacyor ſtubbornneſſe is an hardnes or harſhneſſe in the paſſagesof common life. A ſtubborne or harſh fellow is ſo framed; as ifyou aske him where ſuch a man is anſwereth churliſhly; what haue Ito doe with him? trouble me not. Being ſaluted, he ſaluteth notagain. When hee ſelleth any thing, if you demand his price, hevouchſafeth not an anſwere; but rather asketh the buier what faulthee findeth with his wares? Vnto religious men, which at ſolemnefeaſts preſent the gods with gifts, he is wont to ſay, That thegiftes which they receiue from aboue, are not giuen them for nothing.If any man caſually or vnwittingly thruſt him, or tread on hisfoots; it it Is an immortall quarrell, he is inexorable. And when herefuſeth a friend, that demaundeth a ſmall ſumme of money, hecommeth after voluntary, and bringeth it himſelfe; but with thisſting or reproch, wel, come on, hatchet after helue, Ile euen looſethis too.
16.Of Superſtition.
Superſtitionwe may define, A reuerend awfull reſpect to a Soueraigntie or diuinepower. But he is ſuperſtitious, which with waſht hands, and beingbeſprinkled with holy water out of the Temple, bearing a bay leaſein his mouth, walketh ſo a whole day together. lf that a Weaſellcroſſe the way, hee will not goe forward vntill another hath paſtbefore him, or hath throwne three ſtones ouer the way. Iſ he ſeeany Serpents in an houſe, there hee will build a Chappell. Shiningſtones which are in the common wayes, he doth anoint with oyle outof a viall; not departing vntill hee hath worſhipped them vpon hisknees. But if a Mouſe hath gnawne his meale bag, hee repairethinſtantly to his Wizards, aduiſeth with thē what were beſt to bedone: who if they anſwere, that it ſhould bee had to the Botchersto mend, our ſuperſtitious man, neglecting the Sooth-ſayersdirection, ſhal, in honour to his religion, emptie his bagge andcaſt it away. He doth alſo oftentimes perfume, or purifie hishouſe: He ſtayeth not long by any graue or Sepulcher: Hee goeth notto Funeralls, nor to any woman in childbed. If he chance to haue aviſion, or any thing that’s ſtrange, in his ſleepe, he goeth toall the Sooth-ſayers, Diuiners, and Wizards, to know to what god orgoddeſſe he ſhould preſent his vowes: and to the end he may beinitiated in holy Orders, he goes often vnto the Orphetuliſts, howmany moneths with his wiſe, or if ſhe be not at leiſure with hisNurſe, and his daughters. Beſides, in corners, before he goe fromthence, ſprinkling water vpon his head, he purgeth by ſacrifice:and calling for thoſe women which miniſter, commandeth himſelfe tobe purged with the ſea-onion; or bearing about of a whelp. But if heſee any mad man, or one troubled with the falling ſickneſſe; allfrighted and diſquieted, by way of charm, his maner is to ſpit vponhis boſome.
17.Of Cauſeleſſe Complaining.
Acauſeleſſe Complaint, is an expoſtulation fram’d vpon noground. Theſe are the maners of a querrulous waiward man: That if afriend ſend him a modicum from a banquet, he will ſay to him thatbrings it, This is the reaſon was not inuited: you youchſafe meenot a little pottage and your hedge-wine. And when his Miſtriskiſſeth him, I wonder (ſaith he) if theſe be not flatteringkiſſes. Hee’s diſpleaſed with Iupiter: not only if he do notraine; but if he ſend it late: And finding a purſe vpō the way, hecomplaines that he neuer found any great treaſure. Likewiſe, whenhe hath bought a ſlaue for little or nothing, having importuned himthat ſold him therunto; I wonder, ſaith he, if I ſhould euer hauebought any thing of worth ſo cheape. If any man bring him gladtidings, that God hath ſent him a ſonne, he anſwereth; If you hadtold me I had loſt halfe my wealth, then you had hit it. Hauinggain’d a cauſe by all mens voices, he cōplains (notwithſtanding)of him that pleaded for him, for that he omitted many things thatwere due to him. Now if his friends do cōtribute to ſupply hiswants, and if ſome one ſay vnto him; Now bee cheereſull, new bemerry: I haue great cauſe, hee will ſay, when muſt repay this monybacke againe, and be beholding for it beſides.
18.Of Diſſidence, or Diſtruſt.
Diſſidenceor diſtruſt, is that which makes vs iealous of fraude from all men.A diffident or diſtruſtfull man is he, who if he ſend one to buyvictualls, ſends an other after him to know what hee paid. If heebeare mony about him, hee tells it at euery furlong. Lying in hisbed, he askes his wife if ſhe haue lockt her casket; if his cheſtsbe faſt lockt; if the dores be faſt bolted: and although ſheaſſure it, notwithſtanding, naked without ſhooes he riſeth outof his bed, lighteth a candle, ſurueighs all; and hardly fals aſleepagain for diſtruſt. When he coms to his debtors for his vſemony,he goes ſtrong with his witneſſes. When hee is to turne or trimſome olde gaberdine, he putteth it not to the beſt Fuller, but tohim that doth beſt ſecure the returne of his commodity. If any manborrowe any pots, any pailes, or pannes, if hee lend them it is veryrare: but commonly he ſends for them inſtantly again, before theyare well at home with them. He biddeth his boy, not to follow them atthe heeles, but to goe before them, leſt they make eſcape withthem. And to thoſe which bid him make a note of any thing theyborrow: nay, ſayth he, lay downe rather; for my men are not atleaſure to come and aske it.
19.Of Naſtineſſe
Naſtineſſe,is a neglect, or careleſneſſe of the bodie; a ſlouenry orbeaſtlineſſe very lothſome to men. A naſty beaſtly fellow ishe, who hauing a leproſie, pox, or other contagious diſeaſe,wearing long and lothſome nailes, intrudeth himſelfe into company;and ſaith: Gentlemen of race and antiquity haue theſe diſeaſes;and that his Father, and Grand-father were ſubiect to the ſame.This fellow hauing vlcers in his legges, nodes or hard tumors in hisfingers, ſeeketh no remedy for them; ſuffering them to groweincurable; hairy as a Goat, blacke and worm-eaten teeth, foulebreath; with him ’tis frequēt & familiar, to wipe his noſewhen he is at meate, to talke with his mouth full, and not to breath,but to belch in the midſt of his draught; to vſe: ranke oyle in hisbathings; to come into the Hall or Senate houſe, with clothes allſtained and full of ſpottes. Whoſoeuer went to Soothſayers, hewould not ſpare them but giue them foule language. Oftētimes, whenſupplications and ſacrifices were made, he would ſuffer the bolleto fall out of his hand, (as it were caſually, but) purpoſely: thenhee would take vp a great laughter, as if ſome prodigy or ominousthing had happened. When he heareth any Fidlers, he cannot hold buthe muſt keepe time, & with a kind of Mimicall geſticulation (asit were) applaud and imitate their chordes. Then he railes on theFidler as a trouble-cup; becauſe he made an end no ſooner: andwhile he would ſpit beyond the table, hee al-tobeſpawleth him whoskinketh at the feaſt.
20.Of Vnpleaſantneſſe, or Tediouſneſſe.
Ifwe ſhould define Tediouſnes, it is a troubleſome kinde ofconuerſing, without any other damage or preiudice. A tedious fellowis hee, who wakeneth one ſuddenly out of his ſleepe which wentlately to bed and being entred, troubleth him with impertinent loudpraring: and that hee who now commeth vnto him, is ready to goaboord; and that a little lingring may hurt him: Onely I wiſht himto forbeare, vntill I had ſome little conference with you. Likewiſe,taking the childe frō the Nurſe, he puts meat half chew’d intothe mouth, as Nurſes are wont; and calling him Pretty, and Louely,will cull and ſtroke him. At his meat he tels you, that he tookeElleborus, which ſtuck ſo in his guts, that it wroght with himvpwards & downwards. Then he tels you that his Sieges wereblacker then broth, that’s ſet to. He delighteth to inquire of hismother, his friends being preſent, what day ſhee was deliuered ofhim. He will tell that he hath very colde water in his ceſterne:complaineth, that his houſe lyeth ſo open to paſſengers, as if itwere a publicke Inne. And when hee entertaines any gheſts, heebrings forth his Paraſite, that they may ſee what maner of braineit is: And in his Feaſt, turning himſelfe to him, hee ſayth; YouPariſite, looke that you content them well.
21.Of a baſe and friuolous affectation of praiſe.
Youmay terme this Affectation, a ſhallow, petty, baſtard Ambition,altogether illiberall & degenerous. But the fooliſh ambitiousfellow is he, who being inuited to ſuipper, deſireth to ſit by themaſter of the Feaſt; who brings his ſonne from Delphos only thathe might cut his haire; who is yery deſtrous to haue a Lacquy anAethiopian; who, if hee pay but a pound in ſiluer, affecteth to payit in mony latelly coyned. And if he ſacrifice an Oxe, his maner isto place the fore-part of his head circled with garlands in the entryof the doore, that all men that enter may know that he hath killed anOxe. And when he goes in ſtate and pompe with other Knights, allother things being delivered to his boy to beare home, hee comescloked into the market place and there walks his ſtations. And if alittle dog or whippet of his dye, ô hee makes him a tombe, andwrites vpon a little pillar or Pyramis, Surculus Melitenſis, aMelitean Plant. And when hee doth conſecrate an iron ring toAeſculapius, hanging vp ſtill new crownes: hee ſhall weare itaway. And he himſelfe is daily bedawhed with onions. All thingswhich belong to the charge of the Magiſtrates, whom they callPrytanæi, he himſelfe is very carefull of: that when they haueoffered, hee may recount the maner to the people. Therefore crowned,and clothed in white, he comes forth into the Aſſembly and ſayth:We Prytanæi, O Athenians, doe performe our holy Ceremonies and ritesto the mother of the gods, and haue Sacrificed. Therefore, expect allhappy & proſperous euents. Theſe things thus related, hereturneth home to his houſe; reporting to his wife, that all thingshaue ſucceeded beyond expectation.
22.Of Illiberality, or Seruilitie.
Illiberality,or Seruility, is too great a contempt of glorie, proceeding from thelike deſire to ſpare expence. An illiberall fellow is hee, who ifhee ſhould gaine the victory in a Tragicke encounter, wouldconſecrate to Bacchus a wodden bowle, wherein his name ſhuld beinſcribed. He is likewiſe one, who in a needfull diſtreſſedſeaſon of the Cōmon-welth, when by the Citizen there is giuen avery extraordinary contribution, riſing vp in a full aſſembly, iseither ſilent or gets him gone. Being to beſtow his daughter, andthe ſacrifices ſlaine, he ſelleth all the fleſh, ſaue what isvſed in holy rites: and he hireth ſuch as are to waite & attendvpon the mariage onely for that time, which ſhall diet them ſeluesand eate their owne meat. The Captaine of the Gally, which himſelfeſet forth, hee layes old plankes vnder his Cabin to ſpare his owne.Comming out of the Market place, hee puts the fleſh he bought, inhis boſome: and vpon any occaſion, is ſorc’d to keep in, tillhis cloathes be made cleane. In the Morning, as ſoone as he riſeth,he ſweepes the houſe, and fleas the beds himſelfe, and turnes thewrong ſide of his vild cloke, outwards.
23of Oſtentation.
Oſtentationmay be ſayd to bee, a vanting or ſetting out of ſome good thingswhich are not preſent. A vanter or forth-putter is he, that boaſtesvpon the Exchange that he hath ſtore of banke-mony:and this he telsto ſtrangers; and is not danted to diſcouer all his vſuring Trade,ſhewing how high he is growne in gaine. As hee trauels, if hee get acompanion, he will tell you he ſeru’d vnder Alexander in thatnoble expedition; and what a number of iewelled drinking pots hebrought away. Hee will maintaine, though others diſſent, That theArtificers of Aſia, are better then theſe of Europe: then, thatArts and Letters came from Antipater; who (they ſay) ran intoMacedonia, ſcantly accōpanied with two more. He, when there wasgranted a free exportation, when the courteſie was offered him,refuſed it, becauſe he would ſhun all maner of obloquie. The ſameman in the dearth of corne, gaue more then fiue talents to the poore.But if he ſit by thoſe which know him not, hee entreateth them tocaſt accompt & reckon the number of thoſe to whom hee hathgiven: the which if they fall out to bee 600. his accompt doubled,and their names being added to euery one, it will eaſily beeffected; ſo that anon tenne talents will be gathered, the which heaffirmeth that hee gaue to the reliefe of the poore: And yet in thisaccompt, I reckon not the Gallies that I did command my ſelfe; andthe other ſeruices which I vndertooke for the good of theCōmon-wealth. The ſame man comming to thoſe which ſell Barbes,Iennets, other hotſes of price: he beares them in hand hee would buythem in the faire ad Tentoria. Of thoſe which expoſe their wares toſale, he calleth to ſee a garment of two Talents price, and chidethhis boy extremely, that he dare follow him without gold. Laſtly,dwelling in an hired houſe, if hee haue ſpeech with any that knowsis not, hee will tell him the houſe was his Fathers; but becauſe itis not of receipt for his traine, and entertainment of his friends,he hath an intention to make it away.
24.Of Pride.
Pride,is a contempt of all others ſaue it ſelfe. A proud man is of thisquality: If any man deſire to ſpeake with him ſpeedily, hee willtell him that hee will, after ſupper, walke a turne or two with him.If any man be oblig’d vnto him, he will command him to remember thefauor; nay, he wil vrge him to it. Hee will neuer come vnto any manfirſt. They that buy any thing, or hire any thing of him, hediſdains not to admit them come as early as they liſt. As heewalkes bending downe his head, ſpeaks to no man that he meetes. Ifhe inuites any friends, hee ſuppes not with them himſelfe; butcommits the care of their entertainment vnto ſome one that is at hisdeuotion. When he goes to viſite any man, hee ſends his Herbengerbefore, to ſignifie his approach. When he is to be anointed, or whenhe ſeedes, hee admits none to his preſence. If hee cleare anaccompt with any, hee commands his boy to caſt away the Compters:and when hee caſts vp the ſumme, makes the reckoning (as it were)to another. In his letters hee neuer writes. You ſhall oblige mee,but this I would haue done: I haue ſent one to you that ſhallreceiue it. See it bee not otherwiſe, and that ſpeedily.
25.Of Timidity, or Fearefulneſſe.
Fearfulneſſemay ſeeme to be a timorous diſtruſtfull deiection of the minde. Afearefull man is of this faſhion: if he be at ſea, he feares thePromontories to bee the enemies Nauie: and at euery croſſe gale orbillow, aſketh if the Sailers be expert; whether there be not ſomeNouices amongſt them, or no. When the Pilot giues the ſhip but alittle clour, he asketh if the ſhippe holde a middle courſe. Heknowes not well whether he ſhould feare or hope. Hee telleth himthat ſits next him, how he was terrifi’d with a dream not longſince: Then he puts off his ſhirt, and giues it the boy: entreatsthe Saylors to ſet him on ſhore. Being in ſeruice at land, hecalleth his fellow-ſouldiers vnto him: and looking earneſtly vponthem, ſayth; ’Tis hard to know whether you bee enemies, or no.Hearing a buſtling, and ſeeing ſome fall, he tels them, That forpure haſt hee had forgotten his two-hand ſword: and ſo ſoone asby running hee hath recouered his tent, hee ſendeth the boy to ſcoutwarily where the enemy is: Then hideth he is long ſword vnder hispillow: then hee ſpendeth much time in ſeeking of it. And if bychance he ſee any wounded brought ouer toward the tent, he runnethto him, encourageth him, bids him take a mans heart, and be reſolute.Hee’s very tender ouer him, and wipes away the corruption of hiswound with a ſponge: hee had rather do any worke about the houſethen fight: Hee careth not how little bloud hee looſeth himſelfe:His two-heel'd ſword is his beſt weapon: When the Trumpet ſounds acharge, ſitting in his tent; A miſchiefe on him (ſayth hee) hediſquieteth the poore wounded man, he can take no reſt for him. Heloues the bloud and glorie of another mans wound. Hee will bragge,when hee comes out of the field, how many ſriends hee brought offwith the hazard of his owne life. He brings to the hurt man, many ofthe ſame band, to viſite him: and tels them all, that hee with hisown hand brought him into his tent.
26.Of an Olygarchy or The maners of the principall ſort which ſway ina ſtate.
Anolygarchie, may ſeem to be a vehement deſire of honor, withoutdeſire of gaine. Olygarches, or principal men in a ſtate, hauetheſe conditions. When the people conſult, whether the Magiſtrateſhould haue any aſſociate added vnto him in the ſetting out oftheir ſhewes and pompes, hee ſteppeth forth vncalled for, andpronounceth himſelf worthy of that honour. Hee hath learned thisonly verſe of Homer, Non multos regnare bonum eſt, Rex unicus eſto.The State is at an euill ſtay, where more then one the Scepter ſway.Theſe ſayings are frequēt with them, ’Tis fit that wee aſſembleour ſelues together, deliberate and determine finally: That wee freeour ſelues of the multitude: That wee intercept their claime to anyplace of magiſtracie or gouernment. If any do them affront oriniurie, He and I (ſay they) are not compatible in this City. Aboutnoone they come abroad, their beardes and haire cut of a midlingſize, their nayles curiouſly pared ſtrouting it in the Lawehouſe,ſaying; There is no dwelling in this Citie: That they are too muchpeſtered and importuned with multitudes of ſuiters and cauſes;That they are very much aſhamed, when they ſee any man in theAſſembly beggerly, or ſlouenly; and that al the Orators are anodious profeſſion; and that Theſeus was the firſt, which broughtthis contagion into Cities and Common-wealthes. The like ſpeechesthey haue with ſtrangers, and ſuch Citizens as are of their ownefaction.
27.Of late-learning.
Late,or vnſeaſonable learning, is a deſire of getting better ſurnituresand abilities in the going downe of our ſtrength, and the decliningof our age. Of thoſe men this is their manner. When ſuch men atethreeſcoore yeeres of age, they learne verſes out of Poets byheart: and theſe they beginne to ſing in their cups and collations.No ſooner they haue begunne, but they forget the reſt. Such an onelearnes of his ſonne, how in ſeruice they turne to the right handand the left. When hee goes into the Countrie, riding vpon a borrowedhorſe, practiſing how to ſalute thoſe he meeteth, without alighting, falling all-to-bemoiles himſelf. Hee dooth practiſe atthe Quintim. He will learne of one, and teach him againe, as if hisMaſter were vnskilfull. He likewiſe wreſtling and bathing, dothmanage his blinde cheekes very vildely.
28.Of Detraction or Back-biting
Detractionis a proneness or ſwaruing of the mind into the worſt part in ourſpeech, and diſcourſe. A Detractor is thus conditioned: If hee beequeſtioned that ſuch an one is, as if he ſhould play the Herald,and ſet down his pedigree, he begins with firſt of his Family. Thismans father, ſaith hee, was firſt called Soſias. After he followedthe wars, they called him Soſiſtrates: then from one of the meanyhee was made an Officer: (forſooth) His Mother was noble of Treſſa:the which ſort of women, ſay they, are noble when they are at home.And this fellow, for all his pretended Gentrie, is a very lewd knaue.He proceedeth & telleth you, That theſe are the women whichentice men out of their way: Hee ioyneth with others which traducethe abſent, and ſayth, I hate the man you blame, exceedingly. Ifyou note his face, it diſcouereth a lewd fellow very worthy ofhatred. If you looke to his villanies, nothing more flagitious. Heegiues his wiſe 3. farthing tokens to goe to market with. In themoneth of Ianuary when the colds are greateſt, he compelleth her towaſh. His maner is, ſitting amōgſt much companie, to riſe vp andſnarle at any; not to ſpare thoſe that are at reſt, and cannotreply. FINIS.