Epictetvs
Manuall.
Cebes Table.
Theophrastvs Characters.
By Io. Healey. London, Printed by George Purlowe for Edward blount.
1616
To
the Reader.
Gentle
Reader, to be too servile or too licentious, are alike amiss in a
translator: for the one oftentimes darkneth the beauty of the work,
there being certain properties almost in every language, which
cannot, word for word, in terms terminant,
be expressed in another: And likewise to swerve too much from the
Author, implieth a secret disabling, as is the Original might be
bettered; which cannot but savour of much self-opinion and
singularity, yet if there were a necessity to err in either, I had
rather be over-strict, then any whit too bold: having to precedent,
(it were contumely to say less) that great magazine or storehouse of
all learning M. Casaubon: who in the translation of this piece, hath
tied himself very precisely to his text. From so learned a hand the
Author can lose little lustre, less vigour. However, by pouring it
out of the Latin into the vulgar, the great disproportion of
languages and abilities considered, it cannot but (by my
unskilfulness) it hath taken some wind. In this mention it commeth
oftentimes into my mind to marvel whence it should be, that Homer,
Theocritus, Plutarch, Heliodorus, with diverse others, are so lamely
done in the Latin (be it spoken with the supportation of better
judgements) and so happily in the French. We may not challenge the
poverty of the Latin, the negligence of the translators (having been
all very learned) much less the Latin idiom, as disobedient or
refractory to the Greek. We should be almost as vain as Picardus,
to advance the French before the Latin: who maintaineth after his
mountebank impudent fashion, that the French is more ancient and
copious then the Greek; and that they spake Greek in Marseilles
before they spake it in Athens. The French is elegant enough,
passably copious, happy in composition, and hath many Graecisms,
which couch very aptly when they are called for; yet in no degree
comparable with the learned languages. Not to abuse thy leisure and
mine own, in these impertinent things, as little in disputing whether
this our author be that Theophrastus, Aristotle’s scholar,
whom Tullie terms his delicias,
or some other, in regard he reporteth himself to be 99
and Diogenes Laertius setteth him down to be but 85.
It sufficeth us that he hath deserved well of virtue and good
manners; having very lively and sharply described those deformed
vices which flourished in his time, but reign in ours. The which
youthful freshness, in the going down of his strength, when age had
snowed upon his head, is as praiseworthy, as that rare encounter in
Petrarch: Pensier
canuti in giouenil etade.
But because there was never any thing rendered so happily, as to be
both a text and a comment: and for that in this treatise there are
many words hard to be understood without exposition, neither can they
be well expounded but by such as are well versed in antiquity, which
in these times is almost a relative to superstition, yet for the case
of so prejudicate readers, that they may have a clear passage, the
hardest words are made intelligible: As first to begin with Dionysia,
mentioned in the Chapter of garrulity:
“that the Seas, after the Dionysian Feasts, will become very
smooth”, the Athenians did celebrate many feasts called Dionysia
or Liberalia,
which were kept, the spring approaching, in the city, in autumn, in
the fields: And these were preparative to those more solemn
Bacchanals or Carnivals. Wherefore the Greeks, when they mention
Dionysia
alone, they mean those which were celebrated in the spring, as
Theophrastus in the passage on this place. For in winter, the seas
were lockt up: and in the Spring they began to open: in winter
utterly unnavigable, as appeareth by Horace, Vegetius, and others.
Mysteria,
likewise mentioned in the same chapter, were ceremonies celebrated by
night: and there was a kind of emulation amongst them that did
celebrate, who should set up the greatest lights or taper, as there
is mention here of Damippus.
Odeum,
likewise mentioned in the same chapter of garrulity, as Plutarch
reporteth in Pericles,
was a place, whither musicians and other such like did resort to
delight their auditors and spectators and this principally was used
before the building of the theater. Their corn was wont to be sold
there: and in time of dearth, it was given and distributed to the
poor: where all controversies belonging to corn and victual were
debated and decided.
Of
the redeemers of the theatres
mentioned in the chapter of ribaldry; these redeemers (so termed)
were such as did hire scaffolds, or stages, instantly to be made.
Demosthenes calls them plain carpenters.
Those of the poorer sort did receive (man by man) money out of the
common treasury to buy themselves places to see. Hence is so frequent
mention in the Greek orators, of money appointed for the theater. At
the latter end of the plays, these same redeemers of the theatres
suffered all to come in (cut and long tail as we say) freely without
paying.
They
which did sacrifice, commonly did feast, or (if they did not) sent
part of their sacrifice to their friends.
It was the manner of the Athenians, that if they were to sell
anything, they used the help of some to find them out customers,
these are commonly termed brokers with us. When the thing is sold, he
brings customers to see it; as it is in the chapter of
unseasonableness. Of this place is properly to be understood that of
Plato in the twelfth book of his Lawes;
in these words: “let him be a surety or undertaker, which selleth
another man’s commodity: And let him be his warranties, if the
seller sell that, the property whereof is not in himself”.
Therefore, he is as liable to make good the eviction, who selleth for
another, as he in whom the property of possession is. The philosopher
ruleth thus: that such a broker, factor, agent, or attorney, shall be
taken as an absolute surety: so as if the thing bought be evicted
from the buyer, by reason the seller his possession was not good,
recover, as of the owner, whose he said the goods were when he sold
them. This is Plato’s opinion. And in Rome, as Ulpian reporteth,
when they sold anything, they gave a surety, whom they termed
commonly, a second warranty.
He
easily undertaketh what he is not able to perform,
as it is in the chapter of over-officiousness. This proceedeth not
out of a natural bounty; but out of a rusticity, or weakness rather,
either unwilling to discover their own want, or not knowing how
handsomely to deny: according to that of Seneca. Multos,
inquit, liberales facit frontis imbecillitas.
A
rusticity, or foolish bashfulness, hath made many liberal against
their will. In the chapter of stupidity, Theophrastus maketh the
blockish fellow, rather to labour of want of memory, then wit, sayth
a caviller. It was likewise want of memory in the fellow, who riding
upon an ass, cried out that he missed an ass; missing the ass he rode
upon: having one too many by himself.
Thyriacal
viols or bottles,
in the chapter of smoothness. Thyrium is a towne in Acarnania, as
Stephanus reporteth, whereof there is much mention in Polybius. It
may be some excellent clay: the grace whereof should seem to be of a
round spherical form. There were also of the same form, made of
leather. There were some (likewise) made of wood, which were called
samia.
The
holy gate in Athens,
in the chapter of blockishness. It’s doubted whether there was a
gate, by which the dead were carried out. For in many cities of the
Romans, it was not lawful to bury within the city. There was a gate,
through the which the condemned were to passe to execution in other
cities of Greece. Plutarch witnesseth, that there was porta
scelerata,
a cursed gate. The manner was to execute offenders without the
pomaeria.
Pomaerium
is a certain space about the walls of the city or town, as well
within as without, where ‘tis not lawful to plough, build houses,
or inhabit, for fear of hurting the defences of the Towne; termed the
territory, or exemption. Extra
portam ire,
in Plautus. Vis
sine febre mori?
will you dye without an ague? in Martial, alike proverbial.
Aqua
lustralis,
in the chapter of superstition. Their holy water wherewith they were
sprinkled, was after this fashion. First, before at the gates of the
Temple stood a great water-pot like a dyer’s fat,
or chaldron, wherein was dipped a fire-brand, taken from the altar
when the sacrifice was burned: and with that, all which entered the
temple did besprinkle themselves, or were bedewed by the priest. Nor
only in their houses, but at the entrance into their market places
they had them. It was likewise the fashion, that in private houses,
until the body was carried out to burying, there was likewise a great
vessel full of holy-water, with which all going out of the house did
besprinkle themselves, all that were invited to the funeral.
Orpherulists
in the same chapter. Orpheus brought a kind of ceremonies into
Greece. They which taught them were termed Orpheotilists. Toward the
end of every month, the Athenians were (as it were) initiate or
matriculated into these orders. They were persuaded that they that
were free or entered into these mysteries, should enjoy great honour
in hell.
That
he might cut his hair,
in the Chapter of Bastard Ambition. Young youth wore their hair long,
till they were fifteen or sixteen years of age; then their Parents
brought them forth to cut it: and promiscuously the Greeks and the
Romans did vow, or consecrate their first hair to some god or
goddess: and as they did preserve it in honour of them, so they did
cut it off, and lean it in their temples: whereof there is testimony
in Pindarus, Aeschylus, Festus, and others. And they did consecrate
it to Hercules, or some other god, whose temples they had in their
cities. Thus the vulgar did. But they which would be in a higher
strain, by an ancient decree or custom of the Athenians (whereof
Plutarch makes mention in Theseus)
consecrated their hair to Apollo: and when the time was come, the
fathers brought their sons to Delphos, there to leave their hair.
A
Melitaean plant,
in the same chapter: whether these little Melitaean diminutive dogs
came from the island in the African Sea, or that other in the
Sicilian, it matters not much.
The
prytanaei were officers, which in the needful distressed times of the
Commonwealth assembled the people together, shewed the wants and
necessities of their state, did persuade and excite them to liberal
supplies and contributions. Then everyone rose up, according to his
rank and place; and if he had any intention to contribute, he made it
publicly known; if otherwise, he stole secretly, as may appear by
this place.
Posidion
was the last autumnal month in the Attic year, answering to our month
of September, or January.
Theophrasti
Characteres Ethicae.
Theophrastus his Morall
Characters:
or Description
of Manners.
Oftentimes
heretofore considering of this business with good attention, I did
much wonder whence it should be that all Greece being of clime and
temperature of air, and Grecians in general bred and trained up after
one fashion, should notwithstanding in manners and behaviour be so
different and unlike. I therefore, O Polycles, having a long time
observed the diverse dispositions of men, having now lived 99 years,
having conversed with all sorts of natures bad and good, and
comparing them together: I took it my part to set down in this
discourse their several fashions and manners of life. For I am of
opinion, my Polycles, that our children will prove the honester and
better conditioned, if we shall leave them good precedents of
imitation: that of good children they may prove better men. But now
to the purpose: It shall be your endeavour to attend and examine what
I say. Therefore not to over-preface to that which must be said; I
will begin with those which delight in cavilling. And first I will
define the vice itself. Then I will describe the caviller by his
fashion and manners; afterwards, I will generally set down other
affections of the mind.
1.
Cavilling
Cavilling
or cavillation (if we should define it rudely) is a wresting of
actions and words to the worse or sadder part. A caviller is he, who
will entertain his enemies with a pretence of love; who applaudeth
those publicly, whom secretly he seeketh to supplant. If any man
traduce or deprave him, he easily pardoneth him without any
expostulation. He passeth by jests broken upon him, and is very
affable with those, which challenge him of any injury by him to them
done. Those which desire hastily to speak with him, he giveth them a
come-again. Whatsoever he doth, he hideth; and is much in
deliberation. To those which would borrow money of him, his answer is
’tis a dead time; I sell nothing. And when he selleth little, then
he braggeth of much. When he heareth anything, he will make shew not
to observe it: he will deny he hath seen what he saw. If he bargain
for anything in his own wrong, he will not remember it. Some things
he will consider of: some things he knows not; others he wonders at.
These words are very usual with him, “I do not believe it”; “I
think not so”, “I wonder at it”; “of some of these I was so
persuaded before”. He will tell you, you mistake him for another:
“he had no such speech with me”. “This is beyond belief: find
out some other ear for your stories”. “Shall I believe you, or
disable his credit?” But take you heed how you give credit to these
received sayings, veiled and infolded with so many windings of
dissimulation. Men of these manners are to be shunned more than
vipers.
2.
Of Flattery.
Flattery
may be said to be a foul deformed custom in common life, making for
the advantage of the flatterer. A flatterer is such a one, as if he
walk or converse with you, will thus say unto you: “do you observe,
how all men’s eyes are upon you?” “I have not noted any in this
town, to be so much beheld”. “Yesterday in the gallery you had
reason to be proud of your reputation. For there being at that time
assembled more than 30 persons, and question being made which should
be the worthy citizen; the company being very impatient it should be
disputed, concluded all upon you”. These and such like he putteth
upon him. If there be the least moat upon his clothes, or if there be
none, he maketh a shew to take it off: or if any small straw or
feather be gotten into his locks, the flatterer taketh it away; and
smiling saith, “you are grown grey within these few days for want
of my company, and yet your hair is naturally as black as any man of
your years”. If he reply, the Flatterer proclaimeth silence,
praiseth him palpably and profusely to his face. When he hath spoken,
he breaketh out into an exclamation, with an “O well spoken!” And
if he break a jest upon any, the flatterer laughs as if he were
tickled; muffling himself in his cloak, as if he could not possibly
forbear. As he meeteth any, he plaieth the Gentleman-usher, praying
them to give way; as if his Patron were a very great person. He buys
pears and apples, and bears them home to his children, and gives them
(for the most part) in his presence: and kissing them, crieth out, “O
the worthy Fathers lively picture!” If he buy a shoe, if he be
present, he swears his soot is far handsomer, and that the shoe
mis-shapes it. If at any time he repair to visit a friend, the
flatterer plays the harbinger; runs before, and advertiseth them of
his coming: and speedily returning back again, telleth him that he
hath given them notice thereof. Whatsoever belongeth to the women’s
academy, as paintings, preservings, needle-works, and such like; he
discourseth of them like my Ladies woman. Of all the guests, he first
commends the wine, and always sitting by his Ingle, courts him;
asking him how sparingly he feeds, and how he bridles it: and taking
some special dish from the Table, taketh occasion to commend it. He
is busy and full of questions; whether this man be not cold; why he
goes so thin; and why he will not go better clothed? Then he whispers
in his Patrons ear: and, while others speak, his eye is still upon
him. At the Theater, taking the cushions from the boy, he setteth
them up himself: he commendeth the situation and building of the
house; the well tilling and husbanding of the ground. In conclusion,
you shall always note a flatterer to speak and doe, what he presumeth
will be most pleasing and agreeable.
3.
Of Garrulity.
Garrulity
is a slippery looseness, or a babbling of a long inconsiderate
speech. A prattler or babbler is such an one, that unreasonably
setting upon any stranger, will commend his wife unto him; or tell
his last night’s dreams, or what meats, or how many dishes he had
at such a feast: and when you listen him, or what he grows a little
encouraged with your attention, he will complain, that modern men are
worse then those of elder times: that corn is too cheap, as rents are
now improved: that there are too many strangers dwelling in the town:
that the seas, after the Dionysian feasts, will be more smooth, and
obedient to the sailors: and that if there fall good store of rain,
there will be greater plenty of those things, which yet are locked up
in the bowels of the earth: and the next year he will till his
ground: That ’tis a hard world: and that men have much ado to live.
And that when the holy Ceremonies were celebrated, Damippus set up
the greatest light: inquireth further, how many columns are in the
Odeum: and yesterday, he sayth, I was wamble-cropt, and (saving your
presence) parbrak’d: And what day of the month is this? But if any
man lend him attention, he shall never be clear of him. He will tell
you; that the mysteries, mense
Boedromione, Apaturia, Pyanepsione, Posidione, the Dionysia, which
now are, were wont to be celebrated. This kind of men are to be
shunned, with great wariness and speed, as a man would prevent or
out-run an Ague. For ’tis a miserable condition, to continue long
with those which cannot distinguish the seasons of business and
leisure.
4.
Of Rusticity or Clownishness.
Rusticity
may seem to be an ignorance of honesty and comeliness. A clown or
rude fellow is he, who will go into a crowd or press, when he hath
taken a purge: And he that sayth, that garlic is as sweet as a
gillyflower: that wears shoes much larger than his foot: that speaks
always very loud: who distrusting his friends and familiars, in
serious affairs adviseth with his servants: who, the things which he
heard in the Senate, imparteth to his mercenaries, who do his
drudgery in the country: one that sitteth so with his hose drawn up
at his knee as you may see his skin. Upon the way, whatsoever strange
accident he encountereth, he wondereth at nothing. But if he see an
ox, an ass or a goat, then the man is at a stand, and begins to look
about him: proud when he can rob the cupboard or the cellar,
and then snap up a scrap; very careful, that the wench that makes the
bread take him not napping. He grinds, caters, drudges, purveys, and
plays the shuttler, for all things belonging to a house-provision.
When he is at dinner, he casts meat to his beasts: if anybody knock
at the door, he listens like a cat for a mouse. Calling his dog to
him, and taking him by the snout: this fellow, saith he, keeps my
ground, my house, and all that is in it. If he receive money, he
rejects it as light; and desireth to have it changed. If he have lent
his plough, his sythe,
or his sack; he sends for them again at midnight, if he chance to
think of them in his sleep. Coming into the city, whomsoever he
meeteth, he asketh the price of hides and saltfish, and whether there
be any plays this new moon: and so soon as he doth alight, he tells
them all, that, he will be trimmed: And this fellow still sings in
the bath; and clouts his shoes with hob-nails. And because it was the
same way to receive his salt meats from Archia, it was his fashion to
carry it himself.
5.
Of faire speech or smoothness.
Smoothness,
or fawning, if we should define it, is an encounter containing many
allurements to pleasure; and those (for the most part) not more
honest than they should be. But a sleek-stone or smooth-boot (as we
term him) is he, that saluteth a man as far off, as his eye can carry
level; stileth him most worthy; admireth his fortune; and taking him
by both the hands, detaineth him, not suffering him to pass. But
having a while accompanied him, is very inquisitive when he shall see
him again; embroidering and painting out his praise. The same being
chosen an Arbitrator, endeavoureth not only to content him on whose
behalf he is chosen, but the adverse part likewise, that so he may be
held an indifferent friend to them both. He maintaineth, that
strangers speak wiser and juster things than his own fellow-citizens.
Being invited to a feast, he entreateth the master of the
entertainment to send in for his children: and when they are come, he
swears they resemble their father, as near as one fig doth another.
Then calling them to him, he kisseth them, and setteth them by him:
and jesting with others of the company; saith he, “compare them
with the father, they are as like him, as an apple is like an
oyster”. He will suffer others sleeping to rest in his bosom, when
he is loden with a sore burden. He trimmeth himself often: he keepeth
his teeth clean and white: changeth and turkizeth his clothes. His
walk is commonly in that part, where the goldsmith’s and banker’s
tables are: and useth those places of activity where young youths do
exercise themselves. At shows and in the theatres, he placeth himself
next the pretors; but in the Courts of Justice he seldom appears. But
he buys presents, to send to his friend at Byzantium. Little dogs,
and Hymaesian honey he sends to Rhodes: and he tells his
fellow-citizens that he doth these things. Besides, he keeps an ape
at home; buys a satyr,
and Sicilian doves; and boxes of Treacle, of those which are of a
round form; and slaves, those that are somewhat bending and oblique,
brought from Lacedaemon; and tapestry, wherein the Persians are woven
and set out. He hath a little yard, gravelled, fit for wrestling; and
a Tennis Court. And these parts of his house, his manner is to offer
or present unto any he meets, whether Philosopher, or Sophister, or
those which exercise themselves in arms, or music, that there may use
their cunning: which while they do, he speaking tone of the lookers
on, as if he were but a mere spectator himself, saith: “I pray you
whose wrestling place is this?”
6.
Of Senselessness, or, Desperate boldness.
Senselessness
is that, whereby a man dareth both speak and do against the laws and
rules of honesty. The man is he, which readily (or rashly) takes an
oath; who is careless of his reputation; reckon little, to be railed
upon; is of the garb or disposition of a crafty Impostor; a lewd
dirty fellow, daring to do anything but that is fit. He is not
ashamed, being sober, in cool blood, to dance country dances and
matachins, as a Zanie or Pantalon;
and when the jugglers shew their tricks, to go to every spectator and
beg his offering: And if any man bring a token would pay nothing,
then to wrangle and brabble extremely; fit to keep an alehouse, or an
inn: to be a pandar or a tole-gatherer, a fellow that will forbear no
foul or base course: he will be a common crier, a cook, a dicer; he
denies his mother food. Being convicted of theft, he shall be drawn
and halted by head and shoulders; he shall dwell longer in prison,
then in his own house. This is one of those, which ever and anon have
a throng about them, calling to them all they meet, to whom they
speak in a great broken tone, railing on them. And thus they come and
go, before they understand what the matter is: whilst he telleth some
the beginning; some scantly a word; others he telleth some little
part of the whole; affecting to publish and protect his damnable
disposition. He is full of fruits and actions; both such as he
suggesteth against others; and such as are framed against him. He is
a common maker of Affidavit for other men’s absence. He suborneth
actions against himself: In his bosom he bears a box, and in his hand
a bundle of papers. And such is his impudence, he gives himself out
to be general of the pettifoggers and knights of the post. He puts
out money to use: and for a groat, takes daily 3. three-farthings. He
goes oftentimes into the fish-market, taverns, cook’s shops, and
shambles: and the money that he gets by his brocage, he commonly
hides in his mouth. These men are very hard to be endured: their
tongues are traded in detraction: and when they rail, they do it in
such a stormy and tempestuous fashion, as all Courts and taverns are
pestered with their clamours.
7.
Of Loquacity or Overspeaking.
Loquacity
is a looseness or intemperance of speech. A prattling fellow is he,
who saith to him with whom he discourseth, whatsoever he beginneth to
say, anticipates him; that he knoweth all already, and that the other
saith nothing to purpose; and, that if he will apply himself to him,
he shall understand somewhat: Then interrupting him, “take heed,
saith he, that you forget not that you would say”, etc. “You do
well that you have called it to mind” etc. “How necessary and
useful a thing confidence is! There’s something that I have omitted
now”, etc. “You apprehend it very readily”, and c. “I did
expect that we should thus jump together”, etc. And seeking the
like occasions of prattling and verbosity, permitteth them no truce
nor breathing time with whom he discourseth. And when he hath killed
these, then he assaulteth fresh men in troops, when they are many
assembled together. And those, being seriously employed, he wearies,
tires, and puts to flight. Coming into Plays, and wrestling places,
he keepeth the boys from learning; prattling with their Masters: and
if any offer to go away, he followeth them to their houses. If any
thing done publicly be known to him, he will report as private. Then
he will tell you of the war, when Aristophanes that noble Orator
lived: or he will tell you a long tedious tale of that battle which
was fought by the Lacedaemonians under Lysander their general: and,
if ever he spake well publicly himself, that must come in too. And
thus speaking, he inveigheth against the giddy multitude; and that so
lamely, and with such torment to the hearers; as that one desireth
the art of oblivion; another sleeps; a third gives him over in the
plain field. In conclusion, whether he sit in judgement (except he
sit alone) or is he behold any sports, or if he sit at a table; he
vexeth his pew-fellow with his vile, impertinent, importunate
prattle: for it is a hell to him to be silent. A secret in his
breast, is a cole in his mouth. A swallow in a chimney makes not such
a noise. And, so his humour be advanced, he’s contented to be
flouted by his very boys, which jeer him to his face; entreating him,
when they go to bed, to talke them asleep.
8.
Of Newes-sorging, or Rumor-spreading.
Fame-spreading,
is a devising of deeds and words at the fancy or pleasure of the
inventor. A newes-monger is he, who meeting with his acquaintance,
changing his countenance and smiling, asketh “whence come you now?
How go the rules now? Is there any news stirring?” and still
spurring him with questions, tells him there are excellent and happy
occurrents abroad. Then, before he answereth, by way of prevention
asketh, “have you nothing in store? why then I will feast you with
my choicest intelligence”. Then hath he at hand some cast captain,
or cashiered soldier, or some fifes boy lately come from war, of whom
he hath heard some very strange stuff, I warrant you: always
producing such authors as no man can control. He will tell him, he
heard that Polyspherchon and the King discomfited and overthrew his
enemies, and that Cassander was taken prisoner. But if any man say
unto him, “Do you believe this?” “Yes marry do I believe it”,
replyeth he: for it is bruited all the town over by a general voice.
The rumor spreadeth, all generally agree in this report of the war;
and that there was an exceeding great overthrow. And this he
gathereth by the very countenance and carriage of these great men
which sit at the stern: then he proceedeth and tells you further,
that he heard by one which came lately out of Macedonia, who was
present at all which passed, that now these five days he hath bin
kept close by them. Then he falleth to terms of commiseration. “Alas,
good, but unfortunate Cassander! O careful desolate man!” This can
misfortune doe. Cassander was a very powerful man in his time, and of
a very great command: but I would entreat you to keep this to your
selfe; and yet he runneth to everyone to tell them of it. I do much
wonder what pleasure men should take in devising and dispersing those
rumours. The which things, that I mention not the baseness and
deformity of a lie, turn them to many inconveniences. For, it falls
out oftentimes, that while these, mountebank-like, draw much company
about them, in the baths and such like places, some good rogues steal
away their clothes: others, sitting in a porch or a gallery, while
they overcome in a sea, or a land-fight, are fined for not
appearance. Others, while with their words they valiantly take
cities, loose their suppers. These men lead a very miserable and
wretched life. For what Gallery is there, what shop, wherein they
waste not whole days, with the penance of those, whose ears they set
on the pillory which their tedious unjointed tales?
9.
Of Impudence.
Impudence
may be defined a neglect of reputation for dirty lucre’s sake. An
impudent man is he, who will not stick to attempt to borrow money of
him, whom he hath already deceived; or from whom he fraudulently
somewhat detaineth. When he sacrificeth, and hath seasoned it with
salt, layeth it up and suppeth abroad: and calling his page or
lackey, causing him to take up the scraps, in every man’s hearing
saith: “You honest man, fall to, I pray you, do not spare”. When
he buyeth any meat he willeth the butcher to bethink himself if in
ought he were beholding unto him. Then sitting by the scales, if he
can he will throw in some bit of flesh, or (rather than fail) some
bone into the scales: the which if he can slily take away again, he
thinks he hath done an excellent piece of service; if not, then he
will steal some scrap from a table, and laughing sneak away. If any
strangers which lodge with him, desire to see a play in the Theater,
he bespeaketh a place for them; and under their expense intrudeth
himself, his children and their pedant. And if he meet any man which
hath bought some small commodities, he beggeth part of them of him.
And when he goeth to any neighbour’s house, to borrow salt, barley,
meal, or any the like: such is his impudence he enforceth them to
bring anything, so borrowed, home to his house. Likewise in the
baths, coming to the pans and kettles after he hath filled the
bucket, washeth himself; not without the storms, and clamors of him
that keepeth the Bath: and when he hath done, saith “I am bathed”:
And turning to the Bather or Bath-keeper, saith, “Sir, now I thank
you for nothing”.
10.
Of base Avarice or Parsimony.
Base
or sordid Parsimony, is a desire to save or spare expense without
measure of discretion. Basely parsimonious he is, who being with his
feast-companions doth exact and stand upon a farthing as strictly, as
if it were a quarter rent of his house; and telleth how many drinking
cups are taken out, as if he were jealous of some legerdemain; one of
all the company: that offereth the leanest sacrifice to Diana. Now
what expense soever he is at, he proclaimeth and aggravateth it, as a
great disbursement. If any of his servants break but a pitcher, or an
earthen pot, he defalketh it out of their wages. If his wife loose
but a trivet, the beacons are on fire: he will toss, turmoil, and
ransack every corner in the house; beds, bedsteads, nothing must be
spared: he selleth at such rates, that no man can do good upon it. No
man may borrow anything of him; scantly light a stick of fire, for
fear of setting his house on fire, not part with so much as a rotten
fig, or a withered olive. Every day he surveighs his grounds and the
buttals thereof, lest there be any encroaching, or anything removed.
If any debtor miss his day but a minute, he is sure to pay soundly
for forbearance; besides usury upon usury, if he continue it. If he
invite any, he entertains them so as they rise hungry: and when he
goes abroad, if he can scape scot-free, he comes fasting home. He
chargeth his wise, that she lend out no salt, oil, meal, or the like:
for you little think, saith he, what these come to in a year. In a
word, you shall see their chests mouldy, their keys rusty for
themselves, their habit and diet is always too little for them and
out of fashion. Small troughs wherein they anoint themselves: their
heads shaven, to save barbing: their shoos they put off at noondays,
to save wearing: they deal with the fullers, when they make clean
their clothes, to put in good store of fuller’s earth, to keep them
from soil and spotting.
11.
Of Obscenity, or Ribaldry
Impurity
or beastliness is not hard to be defined. It is a licentious lewd
jest. He is impure or flagitious, who meeting with modest women,
sheweth that which taketh his name of shame or secrecy. Being at a
Play in the Theatre, when all are attentively silent, he in a crosse
conceit applauds, or claps his hands: and when the Spectators are
exceedingly pleased, he hisseth: and when all the company is very
attentive in hearing and beholding: he lying along, belcheth or
breaketh wind, as if Aeolus were: bustling in his cave; forcing the
Spectators to look another way: and when the Hall or Stage is fullest
of company, coming to those which sell nuts and apples, and other
fruits standing by them, taketh them away and muncheth them; and
wrangleth about their price, and such like baubles. He will call to
him a stranger he never saw before; and stay one whom he seeth in
great haste. If he hear of a man that hath lost a great suit, and is
condemn’d in great charges, as he passeth out of the hall, commeth
unto him, and gratulateth, and biddeth God give him joy. And when he
hath bought meat, and hired musicians, he sheweth it to all he
meeteth and invites them to it. And being at a barber’s shop, or an
anointing place, he telleth the company that that night he is
absolutely resolved to drink drunk. Is he keep a tavern, he will give
his best friend his baptised wine, to keep them in the right way. At
plays, when they are most worthy the seeing, he suffereth not his
children to go to them. Then he sendeth them, when they are to be
seen for nothing, for the redeemers of the theatres. When an
ambassador goes abroad, leaving at home his victual which was
publicly given him, he beggeth more of his cameradoes. His manner is
to load his man, which journeys with him, with cloakbags and
carriages, like a porter; but taketh an order that his belly be light
enough. When he anoints himself, he complains the oil is rank; and
anoints himself with that which he pays not for. If a boy find a
brass piece or a counter, he cries halt part. These likewise are his.
If he buy anything, he buys it by the Phaedonian measure, but he
measureth miserably to his servants; shaving, and pinching them to a
graine. If he be to pay 30 pound he will be sure it shall want 3
groats. When he feasteth any of his Allies; his boys that attend, are
fed out of the common: and is there scape away but half a radish, or
any fragment, he notes it, lest the boys that wait, meet with it.
12.
Of Unseasonableness or Ignorance of due convenient times.
Unseasonableness
is a troublesome bourding
and assaulting of those, with whom we have to do. An unseasonable
fellow is he, who coming to his friend when he is very busy,
interrupts him, and obtrudes his own affaires to be deliberated and
debated: or commeth a gossiping to his sweet-heart, when she is sick
of an ague. His manner is likewise, to intreat him to solicit or
intercede for him, who is already condemn’d for suretyship. He
selleth his horse to buy hay: produceth his witnesses, when judgement
is given: inveigheth against women, when he is invited to a marriage.
Those that are very weary with a long journey, he invites to walk.
Oftentimes, rising out of the midst of many, which sit about him, as
if he would recount some strange accident, tells them for news an
olde tedious tale, which they all knew to be trivial before: He is
very forward to undertake those things, which men are unwilling to
do, or in modesty refuse. Those which sacrifice and feast he makes
great love to, hoping to get a snatch. If a man beat his servant in
his presence, he will tell him that he had a boy that he once beat
after that fashion, who hanged himself presently after. If he be
chosen Arbitrator betwixt two at difference, which desire earnestly
to be accorded, he sets them out further than ever they were before.
13.
Of impertinent diligence, or over-officiousness.
That
which we term a foolish sedulity or officiousness, in a
counterfeiting of our words and actions with a shew or ostentation of
love. The manners of such men are these. He vainly undertaketh what
he is not able to perform. A matter generally confessed to be just,
he will with many words, insisting upon some one particular,
maintain: that it cannot be argued. He causeth the boy or waiter, to
mingle more wine by much then all the guests can drink. He urgeth
those further, who are already together by the ears. He will lead you
the way he knows not himself: losing himself, and him whom he
undertaketh to conduct. And coming to a general, or a man of great
name in arms, demandeth when he will set a battle; and what service
he will command him the next day after tomorrow. And coming to his
father, he telleth him that now his mother is asleep in her chamber.
And when the physician hath forbidden his patient the use of wine:
this fellow persuades him not so much to enthral himself to his
physician’s directions; but put his constitution to it a little. If
his wife chance to dye, he will write upon her tomb the name of
husband, father, mother, and her country: adding this inscription,
All these people were of very honest life and reputation. And if he
be urged to take his oath, turning himself to the circumstant
multitude: what need I swear now, having sworn oftentimes heretofore?
14.
Of- Blockishness, Dullness, or Stupidity.
You
may define blockishness, to be a dullness or slowness of the mind;
whether there be question to speak or do. A blockish fellow is he,
who after he hath cast up an account, asketh him who stands next him
what the sum was: or one, who having a cause to be heard upon a
peremptory day, forgets himself, and goes into the Country: and
sitting in the Theater, falls asleep; and when all are gone, is there
left alone. The same, when he hath overgorg’d himself, rising in
the night to make room for more meat, stumbleth upon his neighbours
dog, and is all to bewearied. The same, having laid up somewhat very
carefully, when he looks for it cannot find it. When he heareth that
some friend of his is dead, and that he is intreated to the funeral,
looking sourly, and wringing out a tear or two, sayth; “Much good
may’t do him”. When he receiueth money, he calls for witnesses:
and winter growing on, he quarrels with his man because he bought him
no cucummers. When he is in the country, he seeths lentils himself:
and so over-salts them, that they cannot be eaten. And when it
raineth; “How pleasant”, saith he, “is this star-water?”
Being asked how many people were carried out by the holy gate: “How
many”, sayth he, “I would you and I had so many”.
15.
Of Stubbornness, Obstinacy or Fierceness.
Contumacy
or stubbornness is a hardness or harshness in the passages of common
life. A stubborn or harsh fellow is so framed; as if you ask him
where such a man is answereth churlishly; “what have I to do with
him? trouble me not”. Being saluted, he saluteth not again. When he
selleth anything, if you demand his price, he vouchsafeth not an
answer; but rather asketh the buyer what fault he findeth with his
wares. Unto religious men, which at solemn feasts present the gods
with gifts, he is wont to say, that the gifts which they receive from
above, are not given them for nothing. If any man casually or
unwittingly thrust him, or tread on his foots; it is an immortal
quarrell, he is inexorable. And when he refuseth a friend, that
demandeth a small sum of money, he commeth after voluntary, and
bringeth it himself; but with this sting or reproach, “well, come
on, hatchet after helve, I’ll even lose this too”.
16.
Of Superstition.
Superstition
we may define, A reverend awful respect to a sovereignty or divine
power. But he is superstitious, which with washed hands, and being
besprinkled with holy water out of the temple, bearing a bay lease in
his mouth, walketh so a whole day together. If that a weasel crosse
the way, he will not go forward until another hath past before him,
or hath thrown three stones over the way. Is he see any serpents in a
house, there he will build a chapel. Shining stones which are in the
common ways, he doth anoint with oil out of a vial; not departing
until he hath worshipped them upon his knees. But if a Mouse hath
gnawn his meal bag, he repaireth instantly to his wizards, adviseth
with them what were best to be done: who if they answer, that it
should be had to the botchers
to mend, our superstitious man, neglecting the soothsayer’s
direction, shall, in honour to his religion, empty his bag and cast
it away. He doth also oftentimes perfume, or purify his house: He
stayeth not long by any grave or sepulchre: He goeth not to funerals,
nor to any woman in childbed. If he chance to have a vision, or
anything that’s strange, in his sleep, he goeth to all the
sooth-sayers, diviners, and wizards, to know to what god or goddess
he should present his vows: and to the end he may be initiated in
holy orders, he goes often unto the Orphetulists,
how many months with his wise, or if she be not at leisure with his
nurse, and his daughters. Besides, in corners, before he go from
thence, sprinkling water upon his head, he purgeth by sacrifice: and
calling for those women which minister, commandeth himself to be
purged with the sea-onion; or bearing about of a whelp. But if he see
any mad man, or one troubled with the falling sickness; all frighted
and disquieted, by way of charm, his manner is to spit upon his
bosom.
17.
Of Causeless Complaining.
A
causeless complaint, is an expostulation fram’d upon no ground.
These are the manners of a querulous wayward man: that if a friend
send him a modicum from a banquet, he will say to him that brings it,
this is the reason was not invited: “you vouchsafe mee not a little
pottage and your hedge-wine”.
And when his Mistress kisseth him, I wonder (saith he) if these be
not flattering kisses. He’s displeased with Jupiter: not only if he
do not rain; but if he send it late: And finding a purse upon the
way, he complains that he never found any great treasure. Likewise,
when he hath bought a slave for little or nothing, having importuned
him that sold him thereunto; “I wonder”, saith he, “if I should
ever have bought anything of worth so cheap”. If any man bring him
glad tidings, that God hath sent him a son, he answereth; “If you
had told me I had lost half my wealth, then you had hit it”. Having
gain’d a cause by all men’s voices, he complains
(notwithstanding) of him that pleaded for him, for that he omitted
many things that were due to him. Now if his friends do contribute to
supply his wants, and if someone say unto him; “Now be cheerful,
new be merry”: “I have great cause”, he will say, “when must
repay this money back again, and be beholding for it besides”.
18.
Of Dissidence, or Distrust.
Dissidence
or distrust, is that which makes us jealous of fraud from all men. A
diffident or distrustful man is he, who if he send one to buy
victuals, sends another after him to know what he paid. If he bear
money about him, he tells it at every furlong. Lying in his bed, he
asks his wife if she have locked her casket; if his chests be fast
locked; if the doors be fast bolted: and although she assure it,
notwithstanding, naked without shoes he riseth out of his bed,
lighteth a candle, surveys all; and hardly falls asleep again for
distrust. When he comes to his debtors for his use-money, he goes
strong with his witnesses. When he is to turn or trim some olde
gaberdine, he putteth it not to the best fuller, but to him that doth
best secure the return of his commodity. If any man borrow any pots,
any pails, or pannes, if he lend them it is very rare: but commonly
he sends for them instantly again, before they are well at home with
them. He biddeth his boy, not to follow them at the heels, but to go
before them, lest they make escape with them. And to those which bid
him make a note of anything they borrow: nay, sayth he, lay down
rather; for my men are not at leisure to come and ask it.
19.
Of Nastiness
Nastiness,
is a neglect, or carelessness of the body; a slovenry or beastliness
very loathsome to men. A nasty beastly fellow is he, who having a
leprosy, pox, or other contagious disease, wearing long and loathsome
nails, intrudeth himself into company; and saith: Gentlemen of race
and antiquity have these diseases; and that his Father, and
Grand-father were subject to the same. This fellow having ulcers in
his legs, nodes or hard tumours in his fingers, seeketh no remedy for
them; suffering them to grow incurable; hairy as a goat, black and
worm-eaten teeth, foul breath; with him ’tis frequent and familiar,
to wipe his nose when he is at meat,
to talk with his mouth full, and not to breath, but to belch in the
midst of his draught; to use rank oil in his bathings; to come into
the hall or Senate house, with clothes all stained and full of spots.
Whosoever went to soothsayers, he would not spare them but give them
foul language. Oftentimes, when supplications and sacrifices were
made, he would suffer the boll to fall out of his hand, (as it were
casually, but) purposely: then he would take up a great laughter, as
if some prodigy or ominous thing had happened. When he heareth any
fiddlers, he cannot hold but he must keep time, and with a kind of
mimical gesticulation (as it were) applaud and imitate their chords.
Then he rails on the fiddler as a trouble-cup; because he made an end
no sooner: and while he would spit beyond the table, he
all-to-be-spawleth him who skinketh
at the feast.
20.
Of Unpleasantness, or Tediousness.
If
we should define tediousness, it is a troublesome kind of conversing,
without any other damage or prejudice. A tedious fellow is he, who
wakeneth one suddenly out of his sleep which went lately to bed and
being entered, troubleth him with impertinent loud prating: and that
he who now commeth unto him, is ready to go aboard; and that a little
lingering may hurt him: “Only I wished him to forbear, until I had
some little conference with you”. Likewise, taking the child from
the nurse, he puts meat half chew’d into the mouth, as nurses are
wont; and calling him pretty, and lovely, will cull and stroke him.
At his meat he tells you, that he took Helleborus, which stuck so in
his guts, that it wrought with him upwards and downwards. Then he
tells you that his sieges were blacker than broth, that’s set to.
He delighteth to inquire of his mother, his friends being present,
what day she was delivered of him. He will tell that he hath very
cold water in his cistern: complaineth, that his house lyeth so open
to passengers, as if it were a public inn. And when he entertains any
guests, he brings forth his parasite, that they may see what manner
of brain it is: And in his feast, turning himself to him, he sayth;
“You parisite, look that you content them well”.
21.
Of a base and frivolous affectation of praise.
You
may term this affectation, a shallow, petty, bastard Ambition,
altogether illiberal and degenerous.
But the foolish ambitious fellow is he, who being invited to supper,
desireth to sit by the master of the feast; who brings his son from
Delphos only that he might cut his hair; who is very dextrous to have
a lackey an Aethiopian; who, if he pay but a pound in silver,
affecteth to pay it in money lately coined. And if he sacrifice an
ox, his manner is to place the fore-part of his head circled with
garlands in the entry of the door, that all men that enter may know
that he hath killed an ox. And when he goes in state and pomp with
other knights, all other things being delivered to his boy to bear
home, he comes cloaked into the market place and there walks his
stations. And if a little dog or whippet of his dye, o he makes him a
tomb, and writes upon a little pillar or Pyramis, Surculus
Melitensis,
a Melitean Plant. And when he doth consecrate an iron ring to
Aesculapius, hanging up still new crowns: he shall wear it away. And
he himself is daily bedewed with onions. All things which belong to
the charge of the Magistrates, whom they call prytaneis, he himself
is very careful of: that when they have offered, he may recount the
manner to the people. Therefore crowned, and clothed in white, he
comes forth into the Assembly and sayth: “We prytaneis, O
Athenians, do perform our holy ceremonies and rites to the mother of
the gods, and have sacrificed. Therefore, expect all happy and
prosperous events”. These things thus related, he returneth home to
his house; reporting to his wife, that all things have succeeded
beyond expectation.
22.
Of Illiberality, or Servility.
Illiberality,
or servility, is too great a contempt of glory, proceeding from the
like desire to spare expense. An illiberal fellow is he, who if he
should gain the victory in a tragic encounter, would consecrate to
Bacchus a wooden bowl, wherein his name should be inscribed. He is
likewise one, who in a needful distressed season of the Commonwealth,
when by the Citizen there is given a very extraordinary contribution,
rising up in a full assembly, is either silent or gets him gone.
Being to bestow his daughter, and the sacrifices slain, he selleth
all the flesh, save what is used in holy rites: and he hireth such as
are to wait and attend upon the marriage only for that time, which
shall diet themselves and eat their own meat. The captain of the
gally, which himself set forth, he lays old planks under his cabin to
spare his own. Coming out of the market place, he puts the flesh he
bought, in his bosom: and upon any occasion, is sorc’d to keep in,
till his clothes be made clean. In the Morning, as soon as he riseth,
he sweeps the house, and fleas the beds himself, and turns the wrong
side of his vild
cloak, outwards.
23
of Ostentation.
Ostentation
may be said to be, a vaunting or setting out of some good things
which are not present. A vaunter or forth-putter
is he, that boasts upon the exchange that he hath store of
bank-money: and this he tells to strangers; and is not daunted to
discover all his usuring trade, shewing how high he is grown in gain.
As he travels, if he get a companion, he will tell you he serv’d
under Alexander in that noble expedition; and what a number of
jewelled drinking pots he brought away. He will maintain, though
others dissent, that the artificers of Asia, are better than these of
Europe: then, that arts and letters came from Antipater; who (they
say) ran into Macedonia, scantly accompanied with two more. He, when
there was granted a free exportation, when the courtesy was offered
him, refused it, because he would shun all manner of obloquy. The
same man in the dearth of corn, gave more than five talents to the
poor. But if he sit by those which know him not, he entreateth them
to cast accompt and reckon the number of those to whom he hath given:
the which if they fall out to be 600. his accompt doubled, and their
names being added to everyone, it will easily be effected; so that
anon tenne talents will be gathered, the which he affirmeth that he
gave to the relief of the poor: And yet in this accompt, “I reckon
not the galleys that I did command myself; and the other services
which I undertook for the good of the Commonwealth”. The same man
coming to those which sell barbes, jennets,
other horses of price: he bears them in hand he would buy them in the
fair ad Tentoria. Of those which expose their wares to sale, he
calleth to see a garment of two Talents price, and chideth his boy
extremely, that he dare follow him without gold. Lastly, dwelling in
a hired house, if he have speech with any that knows is not, he will
tell him the house was his father’s; but because it is not of
receipt for his train, and entertainment of his friends, he hath an
intention to make it away.
24.
Of Pride.
Pride,
is a contempt of all others save itself. A proud man is of this
quality: If any man desire to speak with him speedily, he will tell
him that he will, after supper, walk a turn or two with him. If any
man be oblig’d unto him, he will command him to remember the
favour; nay, he will urge him to it. He will never come unto any man
first. They that buy anything, or hire anything of him, he disdains
not to admit them come as early as they list. As he walks bending
down his head, speaks to no man that he meets. If he invites any
friends, he supps not with them himself; but commits the care of
their entertainment unto someone that is at his devotion.
When he goes to visit any man, he sends his harbinger before, to
signify his approach. When he is to be anointed, or when he feeds, he
admits none to his presence. If he clear an accompt with any, he
commands his boy to cast away the compters:
and when he casts up the sum, makes the reckoning (as it were) to
another. In his letters he never writes “You shall oblige me”,
but “this I would have done: I have sent one to you that shall
receive it. See it be not otherwise, and that speedily”.
25.
Of Timidity, or Fearfulness.
Fearfulness
may seem to be a timorous distrustful dejection of the mind. A
fearful man is of this fashion: if he be at sea, he fears the
promontories to be the enemy’s navy: and at every crosse gale or
billow, asketh if the sailors be expert; whether there be not some
novices amongst them, or no. When the pilot gives the ship but a
little clout, he asketh if the ship hold a middle course. He knows
not well whether he should fear or hope. He telleth him that sits
next him, how he was terrifi’d with a dream not long since: Then he
puts off his shirt, and gives it the boy: entreats the sailors to set
him on shore. Being in service at land, he calleth his
fellow-soldiers unto him: and looking earnestly upon them, sayth;
“Tis hard to know whether you be enemies, or no”. Hearing a
bustling, and seeing some fall, he tells them, that for pure hast he
had forgotten his two-hand sword: and so soon as by running he hath
recovered his tent, he sendeth the boy to scout warily where the
enemy is: then hideth he is long sword under his pillow: then he
spendeth much time in seeking of it. And if by chance he see any
wounded brought over toward the tent, he runneth to him, encourageth
him, bids him take a man’s heart, and be resolute. He’s very
tender over him, and wipes away the corruption of his wound with a
sponge: he had rather do any work about the house then fight: he
careth not how little blood he looseth himself: his two-heel’d
sword is his best weapon: when the Trumpet sounds a charge, sitting
in his tent; a mischief on him (sayth he) he disquieteth the poor
wounded man, he can take no rest for him. He loves the blood and
glory of another man’s wound. He will brag, when he comes out of
the field, how many friends he brought off with the hazard of his own
life. He brings to the hurt man, many of the same band, to visit him:
and tells them all, that he with his own hand brought him into his
tent.
26.
Of an Oligarchy or The Manners of the Principal Sort Which Sway in a
state.
An
oligarchy, may seem to be a vehement desire of honour, without desire
of gain. Oligarchies, or principal men in a state, have these
conditions. When the people consult, whether the Magistrate should
have any associate added unto him in the setting out of their shows
and pomps, he steppeth forth uncalled for, and pronounceth himself
worthy of that honour. He hath learned this only verse of Homer,
Non
multos regnare bonum est, Rex unicus esto.
The
State is at an evil stay, where more than one the sceptre sway.
These
sayings are frequent with them, ’Tis fit that we assemble ourselves
together, deliberate and determine finally: That we free ourselves of
the multitude: That we intercept their claim to any place of
magistracy or government. If any do them affront or injury, “He and
I (say they) are not compatible in this city”. About noon they come
abroad, their beards and hair cut of a middling size, their nails
curiously pared strutting it in the law house, saying; “There is no
dwelling in this city”: that they are too much pestered and
importuned with multitudes of suiters and causes; that they are very
much ashamed, when they see any man in the assembly beggarly, or
slovenly; and that al the orators are an odious profession; and that
Theseus was the first, which brought this contagion into cities and
commonwealths. The like speeches they have with strangers, and such
citizens as are of their own faction.
27.
Of Late-Learning.
Late,
or unseasonable learning, is a desire of getting better furnitures
and abilities in the going down of our strength, and the declining of
our age. Of those men this is their manner. When such men ate
threescore years of age, they learn verses out of poets by heart: and
these they begin to sing in their cups and collations. No sooner they
have begun, but they forget the rest. Such an one learns of his son,
how in service they turn to the right hand and the left. When he goes
into the country, riding upon a borrowed horse, practising how to
salute those he meeteth, without a lighting, falling all-to-bemoiles
himself. He dooth practise at the quintaine.
He will learn of one, and teach him again, as if his Master were
unskilful. He likewise wrestling and bathing, doth manage his blind
cheeks very vildly.
28.
Of Detraction or Back-biting
Detraction
is a proneness or swerving of the mind into the worst part in our
speech, and discourse. A detractor is thus conditioned: if he be
questioned that such an one is, as if he should play the herald, and
set down his pedigree, he begins with first of his family. This man’s
father, saith he, was first called Sosias. After he followed the
wars, they called him Sosistrates: then from one of the meany
he was made an officer: (forsooth) his mother was noble of Tressa:
the which sort of women, say they, are noble when they are at home.
And this fellow, for all his pretended gentry, is a very lewd knave.
He proceedeth and telleth you, that these are the women which entice
men out of their way: He joineth with others which traduce the
absent, and sayth, I hate the man you blame, exceedingly. If you note
his face, it discovereth a lewd fellow very worthy of hatred. If you
look to his villainies, nothing more flagitious. He gives his wise 3
farthing tokens to go to market with. In the month of January when
the colds are greatest, he compelleth her to wash. His manner is,
sitting amongst much company, to rise up and snarl at any; not to
spare those that are at rest, and cannot reply.